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Am I BU or is she?!

(31 Posts)
ImportSave Fri 03-Feb-17 21:42:34

Just went to have some toast. The toaster is temperamental and hangs onto the bread, so I have a set of plastic tongs to retrieve it. I couldn't find them anywhere so rung my mum (she'd been here earlier in the day and I though she might have had toast, then put them somewhere unusual.)

No, it turns out that she's taken them to use when she's pre-soaking my niece's bibs/mucky clothes and I'll get them back later in the week.

I'm quite bloody cross with her and I'm afraid it turned into a bit of an argument on the phone. She thinks I'm being unreasonable, because they're only 'cheap plastic tongs' and she's going to buy me a new pair.

I don't want a new pair, I want mine but not after they've been stewing in a mix of dirty water, baby food and baby sick! I pointed out that if she was buying new ones anyway, she could have just bought a new set to new tomorrow and not needed to have pinched mine!

Who is BU?!

sotiredbutworthit Fri 03-Feb-17 21:43:43

Buy a new toaster.

ImperialBlether Fri 03-Feb-17 21:45:09

She is, of course!

Tell her to buy you a Lakeland magnetic wooden toast tong and she can keep yours - you don't want them back now!

TresDesolee Fri 03-Feb-17 21:45:14

I'd find that really annoying. People can't just walk off with your stuff without even asking.

Ezzie29 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:45:27

YANBU altho it's probably best fo just let it go

ThoraGruntwhistle Fri 03-Feb-17 21:45:57

It is unreasonable for her to help herself to any items from your house without asking. She needs to replace them with a new pair and assure you that she understands your house isn't a large free sample stall that she can take things from. I'm sure you can live without toast until she buys you some more.
Or alternatively she could buy you a nice new expensive toaster that bread doesn't get stuck in, to apologise for her cheek.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 03-Feb-17 21:48:15

Yes, she should have asked to borrow them.
No, it's not worth getting fussed about.
Accept the new pair, use something else to get your toast out, buy a new toaster.

Sn0tnose Fri 03-Feb-17 21:48:55

I think you're both being a bit unreasonable.

She should have spoken to you rather than just taking them. It was quite rude and I take your point that she could have just bought new tongs rather than pinching yours. But unless the tongs are something special, or there's some history of her doing things like this, it's not worth having a row over. Just accept her offer of buying you new tongs and ask her not to take anything else without talking to you first.

ImportSave Fri 03-Feb-17 22:02:42

I'm not really bothered about the tongs, it's the attitude behind it that has really wound me up. I'd never dream of going to someone else's house (I was out at uni, she popped in to drop off some stuff I'm posting for her) and taking their stuff.

ImportSave Fri 03-Feb-17 22:03:49

(Oh, and yes, I know I need a new toaster... I'm putting off buying one because this one was bloody expensive and does actually make good toast, once you've wrestled it free!)

TinselTwins Fri 03-Feb-17 22:04:32

She is. 100%

Just because the OP doesn't have a major injury doesn't mean she's not allowed to be annoyed by a paper cut!

ILookAtLifeFromBothSidesNow Fri 03-Feb-17 22:08:23

That would annoy me too! hmm

Birdsgottaf1y Fri 03-Feb-17 22:24:34

Drop by and and leave, whilst she's in the toilet with her telly/knickers, whichever she'd miss the most.

She might then understand the issue.

sotiredbutworthit Fri 03-Feb-17 22:32:31

Honestly it would wind me right up if my mum had done that!!!

TinselTwins Fri 03-Feb-17 22:36:30

I say the OP should go round and leave with all her mum's toilet paper…. after all, she could just buy some new toilet paper another day for her right?

QuestionableMouse Fri 03-Feb-17 23:59:11

Ugh she's bu. You can't just take stuff.

melj1213 Sat 04-Feb-17 00:23:31

YANBU, it would be one thing if she'd even mentioned the fact she'd taken them (never mind asked) but you don't just walk into someone's house and take things that don't belong to you, regardless of it's monetary value!

QuestionableMouse Sat 04-Feb-17 13:32:29

So did you get your new tongs op?

Allthewaves Sat 04-Feb-17 13:37:14

I'd be really cross. But then I get very irritated when things aren't put back where they should be

OwlDoll Sat 04-Feb-17 13:46:11

Why is your mum washing your niece's dirty clothes anyway? Is this not the parents' job?

JamieXeed74 Sat 04-Feb-17 13:52:32

YABU, Jeeze why do people get upset at such trivial things. She should have told you she was taking the tongs, probably thought it was so trivial to mention. But you are being silly, its overboard chewing her out, its only a pair of cheap plastic tongs for goodness sake. What 99p worth and she has offered to buy you a new pair? Get over it.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 04-Feb-17 14:00:46

It's not the value of the item that's the issue here: it's that something was taken without permission or even being informed about it at the time. Mother or not, I'd be bloody livid. What a cheek!

OP your home and its contents are not public property. She knows this and is now on the defensive, so I think you've probably made your point. I do hope so.

NarkyMcDinkyChops Sat 04-Feb-17 14:04:41

YABU, Jeeze why do people get upset at such trivial things

Someone coming into your home and taking your stuff is trivial? Is it still trivial if it cost 9.99? Or 99£? Or more?
At what price item does it become not OK to steal from people?

JamieXeed74 Sat 04-Feb-17 14:06:28

Its her mum not some random stranger stealing from her home. I bet her mum does all sorts of things to help her without expecting anything in return. A simple "mum can you not take my stuff without telling me" would suffice, rather than a heated argument.

rollonthesummer Sat 04-Feb-17 14:09:57

Bloody cheek of your mum!

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