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to not want to share a bed with BF?

(71 Posts)
ScratchingPost4 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:08:42

Hi, I am absolutely in love with my boyfriend, I love him a lot. We have been together 4 years! Only just going to move in with each other!

Obviously when we have stayed over or gone on holiday we have shared but I have never got a good nights sleep and always wake up uncomfortable and hot.

When we move in, is it wrong to have separate beds? He isn't happy about that and thinks it will ruin the relationship hmm

clippityclock Fri 03-Feb-17 21:13:19

Oh I am with you. I hate sharing a bed. It is what puts me off every having a relationship because men are so egocentric

TheFlis12345 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:14:10

I was like that with my DP but it improved massively once he moved in, I somehow got used to it and sleep fine.

MrsGB2225 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:14:51

It takes time to get used to sharing a bed. Sleep will be rubbish for a few weeks but then you'll get used to it.

PotatoWaffleCob Fri 03-Feb-17 21:15:34

DH and I have lived together for 8 years now and we only shared a bed for the first 2 months.

honeylulu Fri 03-Feb-17 21:16:19

Super king Size bed?

user1485706893 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:17:03

I hated sharing a bed butyoud get used to it. Can't sleep without him now...which is also a giant pain in the ass

Iambubbles86 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:17:16

Another one who has separate beds (sepearte bedrooms in fact), I have misophonia and when he snores I get soooooo angry. Our relationship is much better sleeping apart

ScratchingPost4 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:17:19

I don't really see the point in 'getting used to it'. I don't see that ever happening!

Is it unreasonable then? I don't want to be a horrible girlfriend, but I just can't stand the thought.

Can relationships work without sharing beds?

ScratchingPost4 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:17:50

X posted!

Sweets101 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:20:07

Yes they do I know a few that admit to it and are happier for it.
Personally I would want my own room.

PotatoWaffleCob Fri 03-Feb-17 21:20:25

Of course it can work! We're in different rooms and have still conceived two DC! We DTD, watch TV etc but ultimately like our own space when we're asleep.

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Fri 03-Feb-17 21:23:13

How about a super king size with one of those mattresses that you can choose the comfort and firmness level of your own half. That, along with two single duvets rather than one big one.

gamerchick Fri 03-Feb-17 21:24:29

Me and my husband have separate bedrooms. It really doesn't spoil anything.

There's no law saying you have to share a bed.

haveacupoftea Fri 03-Feb-17 21:26:40

YABU because you arent even willing to give it a try.

Maybe after living together for years and one of you snores or is up with kids a lot then separate bedrooms are a good idea. But at the just moving in stage when you're madly in love and want lots of cuddles and sex confused

welovepancakes Fri 03-Feb-17 21:27:12

Separate duvets is a good compromise for us

ScratchingPost4 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:31:05

havea what? hmm we have been together for four years often staying at each other's and going on holiday, where I hate sharing... Bit strange for that to just change overnight.

BraCrumble Fri 03-Feb-17 21:39:04

Pretty sure if you want cuddles and sex that much, havea, you can make the trek to the next bed.

DaisyQueen Fri 03-Feb-17 21:41:02

Superking size bed and a lower tog quilt. I love our bed, plenty of space for each of us because I overheat if we are close together

MrsGB2225 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:44:47

I think daisy has the answer! Try for a little bit at least. If it doesn't work at least you can say you've tried!

Trifleorbust Fri 03-Feb-17 21:46:20

It can work, but it won't work for you because he is unhappy about it.

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Fri 03-Feb-17 21:47:30

I'm with pancakes in that we have separate duvets, a kingsize each. Gives you more space because you're not trying to stay together to get a bit of duvet and you control your own temperature better. Give it a go before you resort to separate beds.

Unsure123456 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:50:21

Superking size bed. It will change your life. And if you must then separate duvets too.

user1478860582 Fri 03-Feb-17 21:56:07

Personally from a male perspective I wouldn't move in with you. Sorry, but it would feel more like a flat share with sex thrown in.

HermioneJeanGranger Fri 03-Feb-17 21:57:20

It will only work in the long-run if both parties are happy. He's not happy and I don't blame him.

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