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To think you don't buy gifts for expectant fathers?

(84 Posts)
CatchTheRainbow Fri 03-Feb-17 20:17:44

I'm referring to work.

It's very usual to buy the expectant mother a present when she's about to start her maternity leave.

This is the first time I've been asked to give towards buying a gift for an expectant father.

I really do not like the guy so my judgement may be clouded. Aibu to think it's not normal?

NapQueen Fri 03-Feb-17 20:19:23

It may not be "normal" in your eyes but I think it's very lovely to buy a gift for a new baby of a parent that you work with. That it's a man isn't relevant. When women leave for mat leave or have the baby the gift is for the baby that you collect for usually. So why does the fact your work is buying a gift for an employees baby due really so bad?

ollieplimsoles Fri 03-Feb-17 20:19:34

Hmm, I can't see a problem with it, I think your judgement might be a bit clouded.

Would you still buy a gift for a woman going on maternity leave if you didn't much like her?

Redcrayons Fri 03-Feb-17 20:19:53

I've contributed to a collection when men have had babies. its fairly normal I would have thought, you're buying gifts for the baby.

Depends what it is? If it's for him or the baby. I bought my male manager a gift for both of his 2 kids when his wife was expecting

NoCleanClothes Fri 03-Feb-17 20:20:21

The gift is usually baby stuff so it makes sense to give to expectant father as much as mother although I agree it's not usually 'done'.

MrsDesireeCarthorse Fri 03-Feb-17 20:21:15

Is this buying the man a present for himself, or for his baby? Latter = normal. Former - never heard of it!

Trifleorbust Fri 03-Feb-17 20:21:17

Why not? I think that is really lovely. Obviously you're not obliged to contribute if you don't like him or don't want to.

Bokky Fri 03-Feb-17 20:21:17

My colleague and I bought our ex boss a dad to be gift when he was finishing for paternity leave and he absolutely loved it. He was really touched that we'd thought of him.

CatchTheRainbow Fri 03-Feb-17 20:22:16

I've just never come across it before, I suppose because a woman can be leaving work for sometimes up to a year so it's like a goodbye too.

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler Fri 03-Feb-17 20:23:09

When I had ds1 (12 years ago) his colleagues clubbed together and gave him £50 mothercare vouchers.
It was lovely and we were so touched that they had thought of us.

NapQueen Fri 03-Feb-17 20:23:37

But when you've given money for collections for mums to be, has the gift always been a gift for her? Or is it a gift for the baby?

dingdongdigeridoo Fri 03-Feb-17 20:24:41

I think it's nice. Now that there's shared parental leave it may become more common.

If you don't like the guy then don't feel pressured to donate though.

CatchTheRainbow Fri 03-Feb-17 20:25:53

If you don't like the guy then don't feel pressured to donate though.

We're quite a small team though.

frenchknitting Fri 03-Feb-17 20:26:43

Totally normal, in my experience.

BlondeBecky1983 Fri 03-Feb-17 20:26:51

We gave an expectant dad at my work a baby shower - a meal in the pub and a basket of baby stuff. smile

BadKnee Fri 03-Feb-17 20:36:07

We always have.They get a card, a present, flowers when the baby is born.

I like the men I work with.

SalemSaberhagen Fri 03-Feb-17 20:37:40

When we had our DD, DP had loads of gifts and clothes given for the baby, as well as a JL voucher. I thought it was lovely.

Ewock Fri 03-Feb-17 20:38:02

My dh work clubbed together to buy him a basket of gifts for our baby. I was touched and grateful that they thought of us. I may be the one giving birth but dd is both our child so nice for dh to be thought of as well.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 03-Feb-17 20:39:37

Same as pp's I've contributed to a gift for a new dad it was exactly the same as gifts for new mum i.e. baby stuff

harderandharder2breathe Fri 03-Feb-17 20:41:32

Gift for baby is normal regardless of which parent it is. If you don't like him either don't give money, or if you don't want to be judged, give a token amount.

Bantanddec Fri 03-Feb-17 20:43:26

I've bought a male colleague a gift for his new baby before, it's his baby too!

Scribblegirl Fri 03-Feb-17 20:46:00

I've done this. It's a huge event. DP will get a wedding card/collection when we get married even though we'll be back within the week (postponed honeymoon) - in the same way I will. Baby would be the same thing in my view.

londonrach Fri 03-Feb-17 20:46:42

My dh work gave us some lovely flowers, play gym (still being used daily 6 months later, rabbit and some clothes. They were as excited as my work colleagues. In fact two of his colleagues on finding out dd was a girl at the scan gave dh a card and a girl item. They all knew what it meant to dh and me. Dh took dd in to meet show off to his collleagues as well. Yabu! Dd is a big important person in dh life as well as mine!

SelfObsessionHoney Fri 03-Feb-17 20:46:52

I think it's a nice idea

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