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To have told him to move his legs

(73 Posts)
msqrVjsmhrt Fri 03-Feb-17 17:40:49

On a public bus today. Guy comes on and sits next to me (only available seat) He proceeds to open his legs so wide that I have literally no room. I said 'Excuse me but could you move your legs please' and he went on this long rant about how he was a man and needed to air his ballsconfused

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 03-Feb-17 17:43:26

Yanbu if his balls are that swollen airing them takes up so much room he needs to see a dr.

AllPowerfulLizardPerson Fri 03-Feb-17 17:44:12

You need to suggest he wears a kilt instead of trousers, as that will ensure he gets a good still breeze round his privates enough if the Tim that he does not need to take up more than one seat on a bus.

You could then harangue him about the merits of the cotton gusset.

And then tell him that Jeus wore robes not trousers and would be like to join you in a journey towards Christ?

VladmirsPoutine Fri 03-Feb-17 17:44:28

Yanbu. How fucking ridiculous. What did he say? I hate man-spreading. Does my tits in!

YouTheCat Fri 03-Feb-17 17:45:10

Tell him to buy some nice robes if he wants a breeze around his nethers.

DJBaggySmalls Fri 03-Feb-17 17:46:04

I would have laughed at him. I cant help it, its just my innate response to this kind of knobbery.

user1485706893 Fri 03-Feb-17 17:46:59

Why does he need to air his balls? do they smell?

TheCustomaryMethod Fri 03-Feb-17 17:47:01

Was his name Buster Gonad by any chance?

Sleepingonthebus Fri 03-Feb-17 17:47:49

Should have asked him if his balls had paid for the second seat he was taking up!

SorrelForbes Fri 03-Feb-17 17:48:12

IMissGrannyW Fri 03-Feb-17 17:49:52

You're all geniuses!!! I have nothing to add but my awe.

Bluntness100 Fri 03-Feb-17 17:50:46

What he actually said that? Air his balls? 🙄

feelingAncient Fri 03-Feb-17 17:53:43

It's called man spreading drives me crazy

NavyandWhite Fri 03-Feb-17 17:55:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePinkOcelot Fri 03-Feb-17 18:02:05

Ha ha at the paying for the extra seat for his balls!

Moonywormtailpadfootprongs Fri 03-Feb-17 18:05:37

Should have told him to hang them on the rear view mirror.


DJBaggySmalls Fri 03-Feb-17 18:07:34

That tumbler link is solid gold grin

Deathraystare Fri 03-Feb-17 18:09:18

I normally exclaim loudly that they have womb envy or are about to give birth.

MontyPythonsFlyingFuck Fri 03-Feb-17 18:21:34

I was once on the Tube and a youngish man was doing just that, with a posh elderly lady next to him being squished. After a couple of minutes she announced in loud, cut-glass tones, "I was a GP for forty years, and I can tell you that if you actually NEED to sit like that, you need URGENT MEDICAL ATTENTION".

He went bright crimson and got off at the next station.

CommunionHelp Fri 03-Feb-17 18:24:11

he went on this long rant about how he was a man and needed to air his balls

He actually said this? How long did he rant for? So he actually pushed you out of the way?

Megatherium Fri 03-Feb-17 18:24:40

I'd ask him to explain how come every man on the bus was coping without airing their genitalia.

RebootYourEngine Fri 03-Feb-17 18:26:26

Yabvu the poor man has an awful illness for god sake. Will no one think of the balls grin

RhodaBorrocks Fri 03-Feb-17 18:29:09

Spotted on my last day trip to London. Thought it illustrated the knock-on effect well.

My XP said man spreading was nothing to do with needing space for your balls and all to do with trying to be alpha male. He was definitely NOT an alpha male type so he always sat pretty neatly. wink

milliemolliemou Fri 03-Feb-17 18:30:03

Flying Fuck - hope that GP is giving assertiveness training or writing a self-help book. She should join up with the OP on another thread who took down a man shaming a BF mum on a train.

RhodaBorrocks Fri 03-Feb-17 18:30:36

Sudden realisation that my username is PERFECT for this discussion

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