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To ask, do I ask the parents for money?

(85 Posts)
BrightonBelleCat Fri 03-Feb-17 10:28:26

I've booked for dd and a couple of her mates to go to this convention thing for her birthday. I've paid for the tickets and will take them up there by train, which I will also pay for.

Do I ask the parents to provide lunches, or is it assumed I will pay for the lunches as well.

I need to budget for this well in advance (am skint) so would you/do I?

Noteventhebestdrummer Fri 03-Feb-17 10:29:19

I think you need to pay for lunch

Mischa123 Fri 03-Feb-17 10:30:22

could you say that you were having a picnic style lunch and could everyone bring a few bits and pieces for all to share? You are already paying out quite a bit so I wouldn't mind if I was one of the parents

user1483387154 Fri 03-Feb-17 10:31:38

I would expect you to pay for the lunches as part of the birthday celebration

strawberrypenguin Fri 03-Feb-17 10:31:38

I'd happily send my DC with lunch or money for lunch in those circumstances

formerbabe Fri 03-Feb-17 10:31:55

If you're paying for the tickets and train, I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask the parents to send their children with a packed lunch.

Bellabelloo Fri 03-Feb-17 10:33:08

I would very happily provide some picnic bits.

SorrelSoup Fri 03-Feb-17 10:33:27

I'd happily send a packed lunch too.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Fri 03-Feb-17 10:34:34

Ask them to send packed lunches. You've already spent a fortune by the sound of it.

VladmirsPoutine Fri 03-Feb-17 10:34:58

Tbh if you're paying for pretty much everything else I don't think it's unreasonable for them to presume you'll be paying for lunch too.

I'd personally pay for everything for everyone and if a parent wants to contribute then great but don't ask them as you'll look odd.

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 03-Feb-17 10:37:12

I would assume you were paying but when asked I would happily send dd off with a lunch and not think twice about it

BrightonBelleCat Fri 03-Feb-17 10:37:38

I'm not usually this bloody nervous about things. These are DD's first proper friends. She has SEN and I was so pleased when she made friends starting secondary school. I don't want to fuck it up by pissing off the parents.

TheFlyingFauxPas Fri 03-Feb-17 10:40:06

If I invited kids out I would expect to buy their food and wave away any offers of contribution. However as a parent if my ds were invited out I would offer money. Also if I were told I needed needed to provide his lunch I'd be happy to do so.
Just a thought - do you have a Family and friends railcard? You can save a fortune on rail fares.

Teaholic Fri 03-Feb-17 10:42:14

Just say that they'll need a packed lunch for the picnic.

That would be fine. If I were told my child was to bring money for lunch, I'd just give it to her as I don't get offended at these things or analyse them to death but I know I'd be self-conscious saying give your child money for lunch but I wouldn't think twice about saying ''your chidl will neeed a packed lunch''

BrightonBelleCat Fri 03-Feb-17 10:42:21

No flying I don't so will look into getting one thanks.

NarkyMcDinkyChops Fri 03-Feb-17 10:44:42

I'd be happier to be asked for a packed lunch rather than money for lunch. Although I wouldn't be pissed off at either.

Notso Fri 03-Feb-17 10:45:12

I think most would assume you were providing lunch so you would need to make it clear you are not. I don't think anyone would mind though.

wickerlampshade Fri 03-Feb-17 10:47:46

for a birthday party I'd assume you were providing everything - would be happy to send something if asked.

Notso Fri 03-Feb-17 10:49:43

I think most would assume lunch is provided but only an arse would object to sending a reasonable sum of money/packed lunch if asked to.
I'd say train and entrance are on me but bring a packed lunch/we are getting lunch from .... so you'll need £X

Notso Fri 03-Feb-17 10:50:59

Oh sorry thought first post was lost! blush confused second one was better anyway!

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Fri 03-Feb-17 10:51:15

I wouldn't mind either way as long as it was made clear asap.

Tiggles Fri 03-Feb-17 10:51:47

I would assume as a party you were paying for food, however, I would be quite happy to send DS off with money to buy lunch if I knew in advance. Especially as this is secondary school age and they can eat enormous amounts grin.

KitKat1985 Fri 03-Feb-17 10:52:40

I would assume you were providing lunch, so wouldn't automatically send food, but wouldn't mind sending a packed lunch if asked.

4men1lady Fri 03-Feb-17 10:53:02

Could you not go with the lines of "it's going to be hard work finding somewhere to eat that everyone is happy with so could they bring a packed lunch, to make things run more smoothly"!

And perhaps get them a treat during the day like a Krispy Kreme or such like!

I would send my child with money but also would not mind providing lunch/picnic.

Kiroro Fri 03-Feb-17 10:56:22

It is fine to ask for a packed lunch.

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