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To ask do you think children with a SAHP have a higher level of absence than those without?

(83 Posts)
smyle Thu 02-Feb-17 20:00:59

just my hunch as I sent DS (5) off to school today when I was on the fence about if he was well enough. If I was at home I think I would have kept him at home, but when I took work as a consideration into the balance I thought he'd survive (and he did!) but putting him to bed tonight I reckon I'll have the same dilemma tomorrow - however tomorrow I'm working from home so will probably keep him off if he is the same... I do wonder if there are statistics out there as my hunch is when children and iffy and on the fence about if they are well enough for school or not, and work isn't a consideration then children can be kept off more easily. BTW I don't ask this with any judgement either side - I love being a working mum, but today I wished with my whole heart I was a stay at home parent! DS has a 100% attendance record since starting school (now Y1), and though he is a very healthy and robust lad I do think part of this is about our working lives - which actually makes me feel quite bad!

TeaBelle Thu 02-Feb-17 20:04:36

Dd is 2 so only nursery but because I can leave her with my mum, u definitely do when I'm on the fence as I would rather she was comfy and chilled. Without my patents though I wouldn't gave that luxury so she would go more, probably going back sooner after illness etc whereas now I only send her when she's properly better

livvylongpants Thu 02-Feb-17 20:05:52

I work part time and am generally the same regardless of wether I'm working or not.

My bar for what constitutes as I'll enough for a day off is pretty high though, DD will often complain she feels unwell but is running around, jumping around, playing etc, if she's well enough to do that she's well enough to go to school.

Chattymummyhere Thu 02-Feb-17 20:15:40

Sahm and I always send them in if I think they will be ok but then I also have two to take to school so would still have to go regardless.

CripsSandwiches Thu 02-Feb-17 20:18:47

Probably true. If you're on the fence factoring in having to take a day off work might swing it in favour of just sending them. I have kept my DS home one day when he'd probably have survived at school - I just knew that he'd probably be very cranky and a bit disruptive and by staying home he recovered more quickly and was in the following day healthy and rested.

OlennasWimple Thu 02-Feb-17 20:19:10

I think Chatty has it right that there are other things to take into consideration, such as whether you would have to do the school run anyway. But you are probably basically right in your hypothesis.

I know I've dragged myself into work on a day when I had something very important that had to be done in person that day, but stayed at home (either working or properly off sick) if there wasn't anything in particular that I would have missed. I suspect most people are the same?

Lilaclily Thu 02-Feb-17 20:22:04

Oh yes I agree op

So much easier when not working, when you're worried about letting colleagues down and getting a disciplinary etc you second guess things, especially with no family nearby to help out

CottonSock Thu 02-Feb-17 20:22:24

I'm on maternity leave and my word I felt guilty on collecting dd from nursery school monday. Looked like death and temperature of 40. She had taken a turn for worse, but I tend to send her in when I probably shouldn't as I can't hack being at home all day with a very grumpy baby.

EggysMom Thu 02-Feb-17 20:22:59

Our son probably has a higher absence because his SEN school take advantage of the fact that we have a SAHP, and try to send him home / have us keep him home for the slightest of sniffles.

It's become a standing joke between me & DH.
"They want us to pick him up again."
"What did he do this time, yawn in a funny way?"

I'm sure if we both worked and said it would be tricky for one of us to get out to collect him, the school wouldn't call half as often.

AchingBack Thu 02-Feb-17 20:26:16

Sahm, I always send them into school, they have to be properly ill to stay off (d&v or ill enough to be floored by it). If they have a temperature and are complaining of tummy ache/ear ache or similar I give them calpol and send them. I've only ever been called once when doing so and it turned out to be an ear infection.

Isadora2007 Thu 02-Feb-17 20:27:20

Yep. As a sahm I agree OP. I would say though that I feel it's only right to keep my child off school when they are poorly or feeling crap even if they're not "actually at deaths door" so to speak.

SallyGinnamon Thu 02-Feb-17 20:30:39

You're probably right. When I was a SAHM I usually sent mine in if I thought they'd perk up at school and they generally did.

As a TA I hated the job of tracking down parents of vomity children especially before 10am. "But I've got an important meeting". So yes, they did send them in when it was quite clear they were ill. Most annoying was a mum who wouldn't come because her gym class was about to start!

Flisstizzy Thu 02-Feb-17 20:36:27

Unless it's vomming, the squirts or looking very very ill, mine are going in.
I know SaHP who this week have kept their kids off with a stomach ache, a 'normal' cold, and one who only cried on the way in!

Minty82 Thu 02-Feb-17 20:38:10

Yeah, I would imagine you're right. I'm SAHM/do a bit of freelancing from home at the moment but am job-hunting. I'm already worrying about what will happen if and when I find a job and the children are ill. DD's in reception and DS in preschool - they're fine in the summer but winter is a relentless stream of bugs and I hate the idea of sending them in when they're really not up to it. Not that I take the piss at the moment but I'm not going to send a four-year-old to school with a temperature if I don't have to.

CripsSandwiches Thu 02-Feb-17 20:40:26

Most annoying was a mum who wouldn't come because her gym class was about to start!

shock Is there anything you can do in that situation? Poor child!

SorrelSoup Thu 02-Feb-17 20:42:25

I'm a sahm and they always go in. I tell the teachers to ring me and I'll come straight to get them. It's no problem.

smyle Thu 02-Feb-17 20:44:00

Oh please don't misunderstand me, if really I'll, vomiting etc child always comes first! I am talking about on the fence situations, from my perspective anyway.

SprogletsMum Thu 02-Feb-17 20:44:09

I'm a sahm and unless dc have d&v they go to school. School know I'm a sahm and when dc1 was in nursery there they'd send him home for literally nothing until one time I took him back because he was fine. He was playing them because he knew they'd send him home.
Now they only call me if they're actually ill which is very rare.

CripsSandwiches Thu 02-Feb-17 20:46:18

I'm a sahm and unless dc have d&v they go to school

I'm assuming you're exaggerating here. If I was a teacher I'd be pretty annoyed to have a child with a very high temperature and clearly unwell sent into school. There are lots of bugs that are infectious and make you too ill to be in school but don't involve D&V.

SprogletsMum Thu 02-Feb-17 20:49:32

Yes there are but luckily my dc seem to miss those bugs.
DD had chickenpox in the easter holidays so no school missed. Ds had it before he started school.

Stopandlook Thu 02-Feb-17 20:49:39

You're probably right - I say that as a part time worker - on the days I'm at home with my toddler I'm more likely to keep DD at home if she's got a cold and fever rather than give calpol and cross fingers...

FATEdestiny Thu 02-Feb-17 20:51:17

I'm a SAHM

DD(12) had a total of 2.5 days absence (2 day + seperate half day) throughout all of primary school. 100% so far in secondary

DS(11) 100% attendance every year from F2 through to Year 6, where he is now.

DS(7) 100% attendance in school nursery (from aged 3) and every year from F2 through to Year 2, where he is now.

I have:
- healthy kids
- a strong work ethic
- a distinct lack of sympathy for whining
- financially reward my children for good attendance (£10 at the end of summer term for 100%, £5 for 2 terms 100%). This matches exactly what the school give.
- I make attendance their own choice. Child is always asked if s/he wants to stay home when poorly.
- I don't hide the fact that I admire and value good attendance.

I have been known to pop up to school at lunchtime armed with Calpol (school will not administer, but parents can in school time) when a child is off-colour. I see if child needs/wants to come home at lunchtime, just wants a mummy cuddle for 5 minutes, or wants calpol.

I know many parents who'd have had their child off for several days for far less. I'm not that parent.

Mari50 Thu 02-Feb-17 20:53:06

My DD goes to school with whatever she has if I think I'd go to work with it.
D &V would be a definite off school, heavy cold/urt infection she goes unless she tells me she feels lousy- she rarely does, tonsillitis (she gets this a lot but conveniently the high temp phase seems to always fall on a weekend) she goes once fever is resolved.
I work but my mum can easily look after her if she's unwell so my decision is based on nothing but how fit she is to complete a school day in a constructive way.

Minty82 Thu 02-Feb-17 21:08:11

FATE - lucky you if your children are genuinely so rarely ill; but I don't see anything to be so smug about in sending a child who's feeling lousy to struggle through a day at school for the sake of an attendance record.

Rivanshine Thu 02-Feb-17 21:13:18

Well said Minty82! Glad it wasn't just me thinking the same thing! wink

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