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Stressed, upset, pregnant.

(64 Posts)
Justsayin2889 Thu 02-Feb-17 19:20:58

I'm literally sat here feeling so upset right now, dh is working and did in bed.

Basically I am 28 weeks pregnant, already have a toddler. When I was pregnant with my daughter nearly 2 years ago, a 'friend', a woman who me and my dh see a lot of along with her dh and go for holidays with etc treated me like utter crap. It started with me texting her to announce my pregnancy she then took 3 days to reply despite being on Facebook sharing pics etc, but replied 3 days later to say 'sorry, been ill, congrats'. From that moment on her behaviour turned nasty. She deleted me off Facebook, and her 14 year son did too. I was then bombarded with text messages from them both asking why I had removed them from Facebook, but I hadn't and all seemed strange. I sent them friend requests, 2 weeks later the same thing happened, with them both. It wasn't happening with my dh, just me. Things got heated and I said I didn't care for mind games etc. she protested her and her son didn't delete me but her son let slip and it all became clear that they both had. We agreed to not have each other on Facebook and move on but I was subject to comments, such as how awful I looked on a pic my partner posted of me on Facebook, he posted it because he thought I looked lovely yet she said I looked 'fucking awful'. Cheers smile Then when I was 39 weeks pregnant she said that she was at the card shop and saw a baby girl card but didn't buy it in case something happens, and she superstitious like that. I honestly couldn't catch my breath and I was really upset over it. My dh wasn't too impressed either. When the baby was born she didn't come to see her, her dh did and her son but she said 'her eyes were hurting ' so couldn't make it. Most people probably would have ran a mile, but I stupidly forgave her for all of this and we've been ok since, until now.

Forward 18 months and I am now 28 weeks pregnant. When we found out we were having a boy we announced it on Facebook and it was the first announcement we had made on there about our pregnancy. I wrote a status and so did my dh, but she only commented on his and when she did she just wrote 'congrats simon!' Whereas everyone else bar my Sil who has been awful towards me over the years said congrats both. She knows the history with me and SIL and I felt at the time she only wrote that because she did. But I never mentioned it and have since had nights at my house with her,,her dh and my dh and have not mentioned her sidelining me. Her dh and mine get on really well and are like best mates. I also get on with her dh, he's a great guy.

My SIL ended up accusing me of making our pregnancies competitions by announcing it on Facebook and it all got out of hand. I stupidly confided in this 'friend' about it and almost to the day of me doing that she made a point of writing on her Facebook 'hope everything is ok and hope all goes well with the baby'. She's only met SIL once, yet she must have wrote at least 5 different things on her Facebook about her pregnancy, quite kind hearted messages. Her son (now16) has also done the same and today has written on my mil Facebook wishing my SIL all the best for the birth etc. it seems very pointed and completely ungenuine and I never got anything in the way of a kind message when I was pregnant, and this person is meant to be a friend? SIL she has met once? Hmmm. To top it off I realised later that her son has deleted me off Facebook. It's totally pathetic I know, but he was on there last week and now he's deleted me. So I messaged her and said yet again here we are, James has deleted me blah blah blah, I'm just messaging you because I no doubt will receive mesaages from you both like last time accusing me, I want to make it clear I haven't deleted James. She text back saying yeah he has deleted you because he knows u hate him. This is a lad with learning difficulties, a lad who I make a point of talking to and asking how he is every single time I see him, he always hugs me goodbye when we see each other, and the last time I saw him he have me a big hug and said bye, see you soon, he always does it. I don't understand why he now would think I hate him. I believe she has been saying things to him.

I basically said I feel like we are here again and the exact same thing happened when I was pregnant last time, I also told her how it hasn't gone unnoticed about her extensive messaging to SIL, a woman she's met once, yet I didn't get a peep and I've known her for 6 years, she text back and told me to grow the fuck up.

Now this whole Facebook stuff may seem totally childish, and I realise a part of it is, but this isn't because of me, I am left feeling totally and utterly upset and hurt, I feel I've been treated like a mug by this woman and I have no idea why. I have a stressful job, work long hours, I've probably cocked up and hundreds of things today because of it, I've totally ignored my dd tonight because I've been so upset about it all.

icy121 Thu 02-Feb-17 19:37:38

I wouldn't give her any thought. She's shit stirring and enjoys the dramatics. Don't play. Engaging gives her attention. Focus on you and your immediate family and your pregnancy.

Snoopysimaginaryfriend Thu 02-Feb-17 19:40:16

Sorry if I've missed something in your op but why can't you and husband delete or block her or whatever it is you do on Facebook, block her phone number and carry on with your lives?

Creampastry Thu 02-Feb-17 19:41:02

Cut them out of your life. Why the f do you bother with them?

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Thu 02-Feb-17 19:43:24

Your mistake was forgetting what a shit friend she had been throughout your first pregnancy, I'd advise you not to do that again.

londonrach Thu 02-Feb-17 19:44:20

Dont understand this just delete from fb and remove from your life!

dylsmimi Thu 02-Feb-17 19:45:24

It sounds like she sadly won't behave any nicer in this pregnancy than the last one. I would comwtelu ignore her - if she deletes you (which it sounds like she will) ignore it and don't send her a friend request or any comments you will just make it worse. You haven't said anything that makes her sound like a nice person or someone you would want to be friends with
Focus on your family, your pregnancy and your actual friends.

seashores123 Thu 02-Feb-17 19:45:36

I agree with the removal of her from your life but it also smacks to me of all consuming jealously

Did she/they want a daughter? Maybe they struggled to have another baby? You just never know, and she only seems to do this whilst you're pregnant?

Doesn't excuse her behaviour though

BellyBean Thu 02-Feb-17 19:46:04

You need to stop being frenemies with this woman. Unfriend her on FB and block her phone number. She isn't good for you.

NavyandWhite Thu 02-Feb-17 19:46:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntMabel Thu 02-Feb-17 19:47:41

Unless you live in Albert Square, be gone with these people.

BitchQueen90 Thu 02-Feb-17 19:48:14

Stop talking to them. Cut them out.

No idea why people get so stressed about Facebook. If someone put something I didn't like or was rude to me it's delete, block, move on. You're pregnant, you've got more important things to worry about than somebody who obviously enjoys drama.

DonkeyOaty Thu 02-Feb-17 19:48:32

God just block.

jpclarke Thu 02-Feb-17 19:52:15

She is jealous of your pregnancy and clearly wishes she was in your shoes and is taking it out on you.

BadToTheBone Thu 02-Feb-17 19:53:17

Just block her, delete her number and walk away. Why would you gave someone in your life who makes you do miserable? She's nasty and you just take it, she must be laughing at you.

Foxysoxy01 Thu 02-Feb-17 19:53:57

You and DH block her from both of your Facebook then act polite when you see her with her DH but don't engage any further with her.

It really doesn't have to be this stressful!

It does sound a little like you both enjoy the drama and the being in hysterics unable to engage with your DD because a drama lama was being mean on Facebook does sound a little silly.

Just stop feeding her drama, take your power back.

Izzabellasasperella Thu 02-Feb-17 19:55:33

I agree with the other posters just block them and stop worrying about it, especially the 16 year old if he's a typical teen they tend to be dramatic😀
Also I wonder as a poster said upthread could there be an element of jealousy?

EssentialHummus Thu 02-Feb-17 19:57:37

Block block block. You don't need this shit.

Grittyshunts Thu 02-Feb-17 20:00:16

Like others have said, delete/block and remove her from your life. She sounds like a jealous playground bully. You don't need people like this in your life. Don't give it anymore thought and ignore her from now on. Good luck with the baby flowers

girlelephant Thu 02-Feb-17 20:04:50

I would forget they exist. Focus on your family, friends who do care about you and your baby.

MimiSunshine Thu 02-Feb-17 20:06:15

Your husband can be friends with hers but you don't have to be friends with her.

Just delete her off fb and her number and be polite when you have to see her but don't fall over yourself about it.

Yes fb is childish but ultimately she's treated you badly and hurt you and you've gone back for more. You know the game she's playing so just refuse to join in

Justsayin2889 Thu 02-Feb-17 20:14:50

This doesn't excuse her behaviour but she's an older lady (50) and has said how she wants a baby and how she's 'tryinh' but nothing's happening etc. But like DH said we heard nothing from her about babies or her interest in them until we were expecting. I think an element of jealousy is down to that. But she's always been funny, a couple of years before I had my dd she said how I looked pregnant in my profile picture and that I should change it. Now this is a big lady, she's big! So it took me every muscle not to make a remark back, I just laughed it off. So she's always shown jealous signs. No excuse though is there. I'm just upset because her DH and me will probably not talk etc. That being said my DH will probably see her a lot because she goes everywhere with her DH, he can't have a drink with out her. So it annoys me that after all this he is going to be around her and he'll have to be civil, but she's treated me Iike shite.

Thanks for the messages though it's good to sound things out on here.

Justsayin2889 Thu 02-Feb-17 20:21:21

Why would you write on my DH family Facebook 5 or more messages of good luck regarding a woman you've met once? odd.

icy121 Thu 02-Feb-17 20:23:53

OP don't wonder about why she does what she does. She does it you can't affect it so don't give it any thought. Stop caring!!!

sonjadog Thu 02-Feb-17 20:40:43

You are spending way too much time thinking about this. Are this woman, her son and Facebook so important that they deserve your focus more than your own family and the baby you are expecting? Of course not. So delete them, online and in real life, and focus on what really matters. I don´t see that your life is going to be in any way impoverished by losing these people. What´s done is done, but don´t waste any more time and energy on them.

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