To be annoyed that my 5 year old now knows the F word!!!

[StandAndBeCounted]

So my 5 year old tells me that a boy in her class, with no problems, got her in trouble with the teacher for saying fuck!!!
That is not a word we use at home in front of the kids and to my knowledge she never even knew that word existed so I believe her when she says she didn't say it.
I was just gutted to even hear it come out of her mouth!
I know the boy in question uses this kind of language a lot because he's been targeting my friends little girl and when she spoke to the teacher she said sadly she thinks this little boy is hearing this language regularly.
Whilst I feel for the boy and realise its not his fault I dont want my daughter exposed to it!
I spoke to the teacher, but its a class share so the teacher I spoke to wasnt the teacher present for the incident. She said she would talk to her and get back to me.
Realistically though .... Nothing can be done about this can it?

[StandAndBeCounted]

Sorry *with known problems

[WorraLiberty]

Calm down.

It's a word she'll hear in the streets, in the supermarket, in the park and in the school playground.

You just need to teach her not to say it, just like all the other swear words she'll hear.

[Ilovecaindingle]

As long as your dd knows its inappropriate that's all you can do. My ds 2 heard it from ds 22 but knows its not to be used!! Tbh she could have heard it out shopping or anywhere. School mayne can remind the kids about suitable language at school but not much else really.

[BarbarianMum]

[sirfredfredgeorge]

YABU words are words, you would've been much better to teach her about the inappropriateness of the word in formal situations - and the appropriateness of the word in others. Rather than simply hoping she never heard it.

People need the knowledge of what is right and wrong, if you don't tell them what is taboo, they will never know, and fall exactly like this.

[SingingInTheRainstorm]

My DS got in trouble when a bully accused him of telling a wasp to fuck off. We were stunned as he was around older adults as he grew up, but we thought he was well aware, it's not language he should ever use.

Ok in an ideal world they would never hear it, on the other hand it's going to happen at some point. You just need to instil into your DS that you don't use naughty words. Turned out DS had said no such thing, this delightful child was a nightmare, school never seemed bothered.

I hope you get this sorted. Hopefully saying we don't ever use such language, should do the trick.

[user892]

She can't 'unhear' it, but as long as she knows it's a naughty word she can't say out loud (for now) that's fine.

My daughter was very curious about swear words at the age of 6. She was desperate to know and found the whole concept very funny. I entrusted her with a couple of pretty harmless ones and she feels like she has privileged 'inside knowledge' that I trust her with. She would never say them at school as she knows that some people don't like them.

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

YABU, You can't not expose her to this stuff in the playground. It is inevitable unfortunately. My DS learnt fuck as a 5 year old as well, from his best friend. And I know his parents don't swear in front of their children.

I tell my DCs that there are swear words and we don't use them because they aren't nice. Unfortunately it seems to be utter fascination for my 9 year old but he certainly won't use them in front of me, no doubt he does to his mates. Doesn't help that we get the skanky mums all effing and blinding at the school gates and I have to walk past telling the DCs to ignore it.

[user892]

Hopefully saying we don't ever use such language, should do the trick.

But we do use such language, don't we? but we use it appropriately. That's the key - knowing when it is and isn't ok. What age etc.

I say fuck in front of my mother, but then I'm 38.

[user1483387154]

Im afraid to say that she is at the age where she will hear more and more 'inapropriate' words, you just need to keep reminding her which words are ok to say and which are not.

[FooFighter99]

YANBU - I'd be gutted if my 5 year old DD came out with a swear word too. We as a family (Me, DH and nearly 17year old DSD) are very careful about never swearing in front of her.

It's a shame this little boy's family never offered him the same courtesy

[FooFighter99]

user892 I'm 32 and I would never swear in front of my mum - she'd be horrified! My older brothers also never swear in front of her

I do have a potty mouth though, but I'm careful not to swear around DD and respectful of people who don't like it (ie my lovely mum)

[2014newme]

Yanbu my kids are 9 and thought the f word was fart till this year.
Swearing is a straight to the HT offence at their school. It's very rare.

[user892]

Foo - yes that's it isn't it - you don't say it if there's a chance someone could be offended.

I think this could be explained to children though, rather than simply saying rather too simplistically:

"WE DON'T SAY SUCH THINGS!"

This only demonises the words and the people who choose to use them. Kids know that some people DO say such things, and will just be more likely to do it in secret, whilst laughing at their parents.

[Trifleorbust]

Just tell her some silly people use bad language, but we don't copy such people

[PopcornBits]

My 4 year old told me to sod off the other day.
I asked her where she heard it and she said she heard it when we went out somewhere! So really, you cannot control what your child hears even if you're a saint at home.

It's the sad reality.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

DD reported getting annoyed with her peers in school because they were talking about the F-word and there wasn't just one f-word, there was frigging too, apparently she'd learnt enough that despite knowing the word she didn't educate them. Presumably 'cos she knows it's an appropriate environment for swearing.

[paxillin]

I imagine many (most?) 5 year olds know the word, very few use it (in front of grown ups anyway).

[MewlingQuim]

Even if they don't hear the words they can still come up with them by accident. DD (5)made up a name for her toy monkey the other day, the name was Cock. We had another discussion about how some words were rude and not to be used while I tried not to laugh and she decided to change monkey's name to Fudge

[JenniferYellowHat1980]

Gosh, am I the only demonic parent who does have the odd slip up when horrificallytired or stressed that might be within earshot of my angels? My DCs know that occasionally mummy uses swear words but that if they used them in school they'd get in trouble. There has been an issue with swearing in DS's reception class but the teachers haven't told me he's involved, presumably because he knows he's not to use them until he's old enough to make his own mind up The children involved have been spoken to the head so I'm confident they'd let me know if it was him. I'd be far more concerned if he was picking on anybody.

[letsmargaritatime]

I remember the shame of dd saying "oh for lucks sake" as we were going into pre-school and saying breezily to the teacher she must have heard it at the shops

[RhodaBorrocks]

No Jennifer, you're in good company here!

I never swore in front of DS until a little shit boy in his class taught him all the swear words. DS is the one with known problems, not the other boy so what he was taught on the playground he repeated in class. He got severe punishment from the HT and an explanation from me to not repeat it in class (and better yet, if he wanted to guarantee not getting into trouble, not at school at all). I did tell HT where DS had learned the words and he said he'd had the same name from a few parents in the class. Said boy comes from a very well-to-do family who think they're better than the rest of us lower middle plebs, so we can't even argue that nice people don't swear because the kids protest "But X does and he says he's rich and lives in a mansion!"

Since DS knows the words now we sometimes let a few mild ones slip out. My DF is always bloody this and sodding that. DS just glares at us until we apologise. He'll be profiteering from a swear jar soon!

[RhodaBorrocks]

No Jennifer, you're in good company here!

I never swore in front of DS until a little shit boy in his class taught him all the swear words. DS is the one with known problems, not the other boy so what he was taught on the playground he repeated in class. He got severe punishment from the HT and an explanation from me to not repeat it in class (and better yet, if he wanted to guarantee not getting into trouble, not at school at all). I did tell HT where DS had learned the words and he said he'd had the same name from a few parents in the class. Said boy comes from a very well-to-do family who think they're better than the rest of us lower middle plebs, so we can't even argue that nice people don't swear because the kids protest "But X does and he says he's rich and lives in a mansion!"

Since DS knows the words now we sometimes let a few mild ones slip out. My DF is always bloody this and sodding that. DS just glares at us until we apologise. He'll be profiteering from a swear jar soon!

[flipflap75]

OP, I felt the same when my two learned the word.

I agree with PPs that there's nothing you can do about it but talk to your children about how it's a word which is unnecessary/is likely to upset people/get them into trouble with adults. I think it's far more commonly heard these days than when I was 5 (now early 40's).

My son learned it from a tree in a National Trust garden on a family walk...carved graffiti! My daughter saw it on a mug in Hawkins Bazaar at Christmas. Just shows you how unavoidable it is.