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To ask if walkie talkies work for DS(4) to communicate with his DF?

(10 Posts)
Ohbuddyhell Thu 02-Feb-17 10:47:17

Before I get slated... Very complicated back history with various MH issues. I'm currently seperated from DS father.

It's been an unhealthy on off relationship and I recognise it does DS (4) no favours for me to go back to it however Iv tried various other avenues to facilitate contact and unless he's with me his father sticks to nothing - Iv had meetings with the nursery, co-parenting course, mediation, private arrangements, contact centres etc all explored and initially it works then he drops it

I'm hoping a judge will order contact in the divorce but I really don't know how that will go or when that will be or if it will be stuck to

DS dad lives a 20 min walk away. He says he loves him and wants to be in his life. But he drops him frequently unless we are together. I can't do that anymore. I do want to in many ways but I know from experience over and over that this cycle needs to be ended - I think any face to face, or direct contact is liable to end up in us falling back into the same awful pattern eventually.

Any communication via my mobile gets confused as DS gets to speak then his dad asks him to put me on the phone - we argue - DS dad blocks my number or vice versa - DS doesn't get to speak to his dad till things get better. It's just so unfair on him.

I was going to get DS his own mobile phone to use just for calling daddy or daddy calling him but the problem is I still have to facilitate the call and I think the same problem will happen where DS is told to put me on the phone or texts would be sent for me to read etc

So now long range walkie talkies have been suggested? Would it even work??? DS would be able to use it more easily than a mobile phone?

This is utter madness. I'm at the end of my tether! Please help me find a way DS can still stay in touch with his dad without us getting tangled up

TeenAndTween Thu 02-Feb-17 11:03:03

I would be surprised is any walkie talkie worked a 20min walk away in a built up area. Will be different if you live in the countryside. So definitely check that before purchasing anything!

No other advice, sorry.

Ohbuddyhell Thu 02-Feb-17 11:06:00

No not countryside sad

Ilovecaindingle Thu 02-Feb-17 11:07:07

Until your ex is willing to put his ds before his own need to rant at you there really is no way forward. Maybe ask ds of he wants to draw /paint pictures and you can send them to df in the post? Maybe df is of a similar iq at the moment to send similar back....

ExplodedCloud Thu 02-Feb-17 11:13:26

I can't see that working. At 4 ds couldn't get to grips with using walkie talkies at all even if you could get the distance issue sorted.
CB radio?
Ex grows up?

Ohbuddyhell Thu 02-Feb-17 11:19:00

What's a CB radio? Trying the posting bits already but DS doesn't get stuff back - I get texts with messages to pass on then tangled up in communication

Ex isn't going to grow up. There's a lot of back story that could make it far more sympathetic to his problems but it would be too identifiable if I post.

ExplodedCloud Thu 02-Feb-17 11:27:58

Ohbuddyhell Thu 02-Feb-17 11:32:52

Oh my goodness! I can't see DS getting to grips with that confused

I'm at the point of thinking just let their contact fizzle out. It's not fair though. They both adore each other. His DF just can't sort himself out.

ExplodedCloud Thu 02-Feb-17 11:40:32

Even at Maplin the extended range walkie talkies seem to be struggling to get 2km coverage in urban areas. An old simless phone, wifi and Skype might work?

LikeTheShoes Thu 02-Feb-17 11:41:04

Could you arrange a time for him to call when you're not around eg with DS at childminders/with grandparents/friend/neighbour so he can't talk to you, just DS? And if he isn't able to call say between 3 and 4pm on a Thursday then that's his chance for the week, you could get a payg phone just for this so he can't call other times. If that works for a while perhaps you could move to more as and when contact. If he's not willing or able to get one phonecall a week from his own DS then perhaps no contact for now is the better option for all of you.

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