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Wedding invitation politics

(17 Posts)
whydididothatt Wed 01-Feb-17 23:09:38

How would you feel if you and two other women were a friendship group of three and you were closer to one than the other... The one you're not as close to but have known for 10 years is getting married and hadn't invited you at al but had invited the other. You see the lady getting married about once a year (although twice in the last few months) and met her fiancé once three and a half years ago.

Would you be upset and if so would you say anything, if the other friend was invited to the full day?

ExitPursuedBySpartacus Wed 01-Feb-17 23:11:43

How often does the other friend see her?

Once year doesn't say wedding invite to me.

MrsDustyBusty Wed 01-Feb-17 23:12:06

Once a year is pretty seldom. How often does the other woman see her?

whydididothatt Wed 01-Feb-17 23:13:33

Other lady sees her more regularly and TBH are in touch more- the other lady probably sees her three or four times a year but they text more often.

The lady not invited saw her before Christmas (with the other friend) and prior to that it had been two years, but then the three met up again more recently.

SmallBee Wed 01-Feb-17 23:17:34

I have friends who I see once a year, some of them that's all the contract I have so no I wouldn't be upset in that case.
Some of them I text almost every day so those people I would be sad to not be invited by.

I'd not say anything either way because I don't see what it would achieve. I don't want a invite out of guilt and there is no point in making them feel bad about it. I'd probably wish them well and send a card or message on the day.

BewtySkoolDropowt Wed 01-Feb-17 23:24:11

I would be relieved as I don't enjoy weddings.

And I would say nothing because I wouldn't want a last minute invitation.

But I accept that most people don't feel like me and suspect it would upset a lot of people.

Are you the bride?

jpclarke Wed 01-Feb-17 23:27:40

No way would I expect to be invited, it sounds like they are more acquaintances than friends.

JustWantToBeDorisAgain Wed 01-Feb-17 23:29:42

Depends on the type of friendship, last year I went to the wedding of a school friend, we hadn't spoken in 10 yrs ( last at another school friends wedding) but I loved being able to share her day, unusually we are all now meeting up later this year.

Some friendships are stronger and longer than his often you meet up...

downwardfacingdog Thu 02-Feb-17 00:31:27

That would be fine.

sonyaya Thu 02-Feb-17 04:03:14

Never ever say anything about not receiving a wedding invitation. Ever.

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 02-Feb-17 04:21:29

People I am acquainted with get married all the time. I am not always invited to the wedding. Their close friends are. I am fine with that.

AmeliaJack Thu 02-Feb-17 04:38:19

I would not expect to be invited to the wedding of someone I only saw once a year unless I was a relative.

JanuaryMoods Thu 02-Feb-17 06:30:46

I wouldn't expect an invitation in those circumstances.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 02-Feb-17 06:48:55

If you only see someone once a year with no text or calls in between, I would say no invite

picklemepopcorn Thu 02-Feb-17 07:03:46

Disappointing but not surprising? We can't be as close as we want to as many people as we want. I think things are more complicated than they used to be, people move house, area and job more, stay in touch because of technology when they might not otherwise. It's harder to grade friendships now than it was. The 'rules' are a bit less clear.

Penhacked Thu 02-Feb-17 07:19:58

I was not invited to the full day of someone who was a friend we see fairly frequently (at least once every couple of months), who came to our very small wedding abroad. I was a touch disappointed but said nothing. It did change how I saw our friendship though, as their wedding was large and we obviously didn't make the cut. I totally respect people's choices though. Be aware ut is easy to choose e wrong friends for weddings, You tend to invite the current friends because it is hard to know which friendships will last the test of time. In hindsight I would have in ited my uni friends,

StealthPolarBear Thu 02-Feb-17 07:20:57

Are you the one getting married op?

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