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DH asking pointless questions

(105 Posts)
NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll Wed 01-Feb-17 12:54:58

I'm fully prepared to hear that I'm being ungrateful and grumpy but DH is currently driving me insane, is it just me being mean to his well meaning offers??

If I say no in answer to any question he can't just accept that "Are you sure?" "I really don't mind""Sure you're sure?"

If he decides to do anything he has to reassured of every detail every time "what program does the white wash go on?" "It is blue bin day this week isn't it?" "I'll just Hoover if that's ok?"

Is it just me? Any ideas on how to cope much needed please!

gamerchick Wed 01-Feb-17 12:57:09

Don't answer him the second time. Just look at him.

blueskyinmarch Wed 01-Feb-17 12:58:22

Sounds quite normal to me. It sounds like the random chatter in every day lives. We do the same. “Just going to have my lunch, ok? Will I make you some? Are you sure?”. "Will I pop the washing on? 40 degrees?” “Will i walk the dog myself or do you want to come?"

ThroneofJudgypants Wed 01-Feb-17 13:42:19

Bluesky you would drive me mad.
Op yanbu

ProseccoBitch Wed 01-Feb-17 13:43:31

I'd be delighted if my DH ever did the washing, hoovering or put the bins out so I think YABU, just be grateful, mine does sod all!

NavyandWhite Wed 01-Feb-17 13:50:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll Wed 01-Feb-17 13:57:09

bluesky that's what it's like, I don't mind asking about cooking or going out but if the washing always goes on 40, put it on 40!

I know I am lucky and should be very grateful but I spend so much time answering pointless needless questions I might as well stop what I'm doing and do "his" thing myself angry

CharlieDimmocksbosoms Wed 01-Feb-17 13:58:25

bluesky are you Irish? When I read what you wrote it had a fine Cork accent to be sure grin

blueskyinmarch Wed 01-Feb-17 14:39:17

Charlie No, but i am Scottish. To be honest i spend a lot of time on my own during the week and i have these conversations wth the dog. Then when DH is home i enjoy any sort of chat. I think i drive DH a bit mad when he is working at home. If the door to his study is closed i know my chatter is not welcome. grin

humblesims Wed 01-Feb-17 14:52:25

This can work both ways. My DH once pointed out that I always ask him if he's 'sure' (he doesnt want a cuppa or a hand with the bins whatever). I didnt realise I did but he's right I do. Its kind of like a reflex.

CatsRule Wed 01-Feb-17 14:56:32

We do both do this mundane chat - more like talking to ourselves. Sometimes one of us will say I'm just going to the shop, is that ok - we're not looking for approval! We're Scottish too!

rumblingDMexploitingbstds Wed 01-Feb-17 14:58:34

My DM always used to say 'ask a silly question, get a silly answer'.

It works great on a classroom of primary kids "Miss, where's the scissors?'

on the same work surface behind you where they've been all year 'In the playground.'

You get a few startled looks the first couple of times you do it, then they generally laugh and catch on. Might be worth a try to save your sanity. brew

HairsprayBabe Wed 01-Feb-17 15:05:09

I hate this!

DP does it all the time and he can't see why it pisses me off.

Whilst making lunch - What shall I put in the salad? How much cheese should I grate? How long do I cook X for? Do I need to defrost it first?

Putting the washing on - What shall I wash? What setting on the washer?

Cleaning - Shall I wipe this? Where does this go?


I essentially do all the thinking in our house.

KurriKurri Wed 01-Feb-17 15:12:05

Attention seeking.

'What program does the white wash go on?' is unsubtle code for 'Look at me doing the washing, can I have an enormous gold badge saying "I have performed an everyday task" ?'

jcne Wed 01-Feb-17 15:12:58

uhm yes my boyfriend asks me a question, if he had a certain outcome in mind already and he doesn't like my answer..... he just asks me the same question again. but we've got issues so idk what to tell ya. it's manipulation imo.

OneWithTheForce Wed 01-Feb-17 15:18:49

It's not lucky!! It is not lucky to have your partner do the washing or hoovering. It's pretty fucking basic home maintenance. He doesn't deserve a blue Peter badge or a star on his arse. Tell him to just bloody get on with it and take an ad out in the paper if he really needs to announce his plans to hoover.

Lambster Wed 01-Feb-17 15:22:12

I feel your pain! angry

My OH does this all day, every day... Constant question asking about the most simple and basic of tasks around the house.. The 40 degree wash one is a classic!

He also has a habit of completing my sentences for me (and almost always gets it wrong..) and not giving a straight answer to a simple question himself, usually answers me with another question for a simple yes/no answer.

pulls hair out

darceybussell Wed 01-Feb-17 15:24:57

Laughing at 'lucky' - my partner often does the washing - I'm not 'lucky' - they are his clothes too! And when he cooks dinner he is cooking his dinner too - they're not my jobs, he's not being a massive fucking hero by 'helping' me out with my little wifey tasks!

OP he's doing it on purpose in the hope that it will annoy you so much he won't have to do it again - get him told!

HairsprayBabe Wed 01-Feb-17 15:25:39

I also get the won't take no for an answer thing.

Do you want cheese on that - no thanks - are you sure, you love cheese, just a little bit? NO I DONT WANT ANY BLOODY CHEESE angry

SomewhatIdiosyncratic Wed 01-Feb-17 15:25:44

When my 3 yo does it, I ask, "what do you think?" and usually get the correct answer grin

HairsprayBabe Wed 01-Feb-17 15:29:05

I have tried "what do you think?"

It is met with "You are being very patronising, why can't you just help me?"


He also says its because I am fussy and he just wants to get it right. I am not fussy, I am a slattern who wants things done as fast as possible so I can spend the day on the sofa.

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Wed 01-Feb-17 15:30:12

Agree with Kurri, it's attention seeking, making sure you note that he's done what is essentially an everyday mundane task.

If my DH asks a dumb arse question like "what programme does the white wash go in" he gets this face ->confusedhmm along with "how long have we owned this washing machine? Is this really the first time you've put any whites on? You manage to run a whole company, I'm sure you'll be able to work it out dickhead".

notanothernamechangebabes Wed 01-Feb-17 15:34:09


Having that

ambereeree Wed 01-Feb-17 15:58:44

Human potato!!!! Brilliant
If i ask DP to get some milk he'll ask why has it finished?
No i want to wear it on my head like a hat....

NotAUserNumberSoNotATroll Wed 01-Feb-17 16:37:15

Hahaha!! Human potato, I love it! Maybe your DH and mine are from the same crop hmm

I hadn't thought of it as attention seeking, he knows to do his fair share of chores or they won't get done, but agree he definitely wants a sodding badge for doing it

I also get the "what's up with you? Why are you in a mood" if I snap at him for it. Obviously needs more training grin

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