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Is this a weird wedding?

(127 Posts)
Maisy84 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:27:01

My partner proposed about 3 years ago, but despite some initial research / plans instead of getting married we ended up having our second ds and buying our first property. Anyway on a spur of a moment we booked a local registry office (without viewing it) and the plan is to get married, go to lunch with family and a few close friends and then invite around 80 friends out to a pub with a nice garden and put a thousand pounds behind the bar. I get the sense that a few people are a bit disappointed about the lack of day event and think we will regret not doing something bigger. My MIL really wants wider family at the ceremony / lunch but that then tips it over into being much more of a thing than we want. Frankly it's what we can afford and I want to approach it in the same way we might a big Birthday or something. Has anyone been to a wedding like this and does it sound weird? I guess the point is it's not really a wedding!

NarkyMcDinkyChops Tue 31-Jan-17 20:28:36

Your wedding is a perfectly good wedding, whatever way you would like it, because it is your wedding.
Sounds nice and relaxed to me, I'd love to go to one like that.

dottydee3 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:29:03

If it's what you want then do it. It's not about anyone else. It's about you and your OH

SweetChickadee Tue 31-Jan-17 20:29:17

Of course it's a wedding - you're getting married before it.

I think it sounds great.

MIL needs to wind her neck in-

JenniferYellowHat1980 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:29:55

Sounds great.

LuxuryWoman2017 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:30:09

Sounds fabulous to me. Relaxed, happy and fun.

arbrighton Tue 31-Jan-17 20:30:23

Your life together, do what you want

justdontevenfuckingstart Tue 31-Jan-17 20:30:24

Haven't been to one like this but it sounds really good to me!

sonyaya Tue 31-Jan-17 20:30:31

I think it sounds fun! None of anyone else's business whether you want a big white wedding or something more low key.

dudsville Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:07

Is love to attend a wedding like!

QueenMortificado Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:13

This sounds perfect! Really relaxed and good fun

Tell MIL she can invite some people to her own wedding and if she's not going to have one she can pipe down

onedsrightnow Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:20

This is what we did and it was the most amazing day ever! Don't regret any of it and would do it this way again if I had my time over

Chasingsquirrels Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:44

That's what we planned, without the evening thing.
Registry office with close family then a meal afterwards, plus we were both going to invite a couple of very close friends to the ceremony.
In the event (circums changed) we just had the ceremony then a drink in a local pub.
We then had an afternoon garden party at home a month later for about 40.

Dogivemeabreak Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:46

Sounds lovely. Don't let anyone force you into anything.

FrancisCrawford Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:47

It's what you want which makes it right for you.

Ragdoll545 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:31:59

Your wedding sounds perfect do what you want not what mother in law wants. If you don't do what you want then you will regret it

Ouriana Tue 31-Jan-17 20:32:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QforCucumber Tue 31-Jan-17 20:32:32

Dp and i are doing very similar, but with 40 guests and a bbq supper. I cant wait, no table plans....favours...stresses.

SugarLoveHeart Tue 31-Jan-17 20:33:26

Sounds perfect. Some folk want the full monty, others don't. Your MIL might be upset, but will have to accept your wedding plans. Stick with whatever works for you & him.

OlennasWimple Tue 31-Jan-17 20:33:37

Sounds lovely - go for it

OhSuckItUpDucky Tue 31-Jan-17 20:33:42

My god that sounds brilliant !
It screams come and have fun with us , relax and enjoy
Enjoy it

karmassidekick Tue 31-Jan-17 20:33:59

Sounds like my kind of wedding. Would much rather go to a more relaxed thing with money behind the bar than be spending 8 quid on one drink in a chain hotel.

dollydaydream114 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:34:21

I've been to three weddings that were a lot like this! In two cases it was just what the couples fancied doing and in the other case it was a couple who had already got married abroad on their own but had to have an official UK ceremony to make it legal.

It's absolutely fine and personally I enjoyed them more than the more formal weddings I've been to! It's your wedding and you should do whatever you want. It's up to you, not your MIL.

Congratulations, by the way - I hope you have a lovely wedding day.

SingingInTheRainstorm Tue 31-Jan-17 20:34:54

Nothing weird about it at all, plus it's entirely your day to do as you want. If MIL will stump the costs for a meal that maybe the pub could do, fine, otherwise your plans stay the same.

CurlsLDN Tue 31-Jan-17 20:34:55

I think it sounds brilliant op, and reminded me a bit of fab photographer Emma Case's own wedding (which was actually a surprise to the party guests!)

Mil is probably being a little selfish with her concerns, I can understand her feelings as it's probably not what she imagined for her sons 'big' day, but I think if you press on and make it you own it will be a wonderful day

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