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To think she does have a problem?

(4 Posts)
lastqueenofscotland Tue 31-Jan-17 13:30:17

I have an old friend who I go way back with from my school days who I'm convinced has an issue with drink.
She claims she does not because she never drinks alone.
However she drinks to excess several times a week, which impairs her ability to do her work (frequently does not go in/goes in hungover), she ends up in vulnerable positions (asleep at bus stations etc), has on occasion spent so much on nights out /alcohol that she has not managed to pay her rent in a timely fashion.
If it's relevant she's nearly 30...

She called me last night, off her face, at 4am in tears saying she was stuck in the middle of nowhere and could I come and get her, I couldn't, I live in London she still lives in our home town in Scotland...

I dropped her a call in my lunch break today perhaps suggesting that this is not good... And she got defensive saying it's not a problem as she never drinks alone...

AIBU to think this is really not the case and to try and push her to get some help?

BillSykesDog Tue 31-Jan-17 13:32:00

You can certainly tell her she's an alcoholic and she needs help but she sounds deep in denial and it may do no good until she hits 'rock bottom'.

treaclesoda Tue 31-Jan-17 13:32:40

You're right about her having a problem. But I don't think pushing her to get some help will work sad I think she'll need to decide for herself.

Ohyesiam Tue 31-Jan-17 14:46:36

As pp said, she needs to get help herself, but as she of in denial, she is not going to do that. The only thing th DST works with addiction ( and she is an addict, classic case) is tough love. Tell her straight, using all those emotive word s, like alcoholic, and dependence. Go on line for definitions of alcoholism, as you already know, it's not all about drinking alone.
She may well shoot the messenger, but she will come back to you, because you never forget that person who got you to see sense.
And contact her family if you can, and tell them your concerns about her.
It's though, and slightly different ethics apply, because her "addicted self" Will fight you, but you have to keep looking at the bigger picture, and sticking with what you know to be true.

B

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