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Are me and dh in the wrong with mil?

(45 Posts)
MadJeffBarn Tue 31-Jan-17 13:03:10

Dd (5) needed a new carseat. Mil offered to buy one a few weeks ago. We don't actually drive, but we have friends who do. We desperately needed one today for the babysitter and my mum wasn't able to drop off hers in time, so we just bought one. Mil is now in a strop because she wanted to buy one. We tried explaining that we needed one asap, but she's now blanking us?

CharlieDimmocksbosoms Tue 31-Jan-17 13:06:42

Maybe she could just give you the money? I would ask her if it's more important that your child has one or that she be allowed to pay for it?

user892 Tue 31-Jan-17 13:07:33

No. You needed one sooner. Maybe she can pay you back. Blanking you is silly.

Mumzypopz Tue 31-Jan-17 13:15:20

Just ignore her, she can still pay for it if she wants to. My MIL often used to say she would pay for school shoes, but never actually did.

NorksAreMessy Tue 31-Jan-17 13:18:26

Ignore tantrums and wait until she gets over herself.


xStefx Tue 31-Jan-17 13:21:09

ignore her , she is being a stroppy cow

CotswoldStrife Tue 31-Jan-17 13:27:52

Did your MIL know that you needed it by today?

BertrandRussell Tue 31-Jan-17 13:29:11

Did you tell her you needed it today? If so, when?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 31-Jan-17 13:31:24

Oh ignore the tantrumming adult!! IF she's so fucking bothered, let her give you the money for it - if she refuses, then it wasn't about her buying the carseat for you to use, it was about her controlling which carseat you ended up with, and you're better off nipping that sort of behaviour in the bud.

randomer Tue 31-Jan-17 13:32:03

ah yes blanking that totally useless passive aggressive behaviour

Jinxxx Tue 31-Jan-17 13:34:52

You say MIL wasn't able to drop off hers in time, so you bought one. This suggests that MIL had bought a car seat, but not yet delivered it. If you knew she had one, and did not let her know that she needed to deliver it by a certain date, or warn her that you would get another if she didn't, then yes I do think she as a point if she is now cross that she will now have to go to the trouble of taking it back and get a refund. I don't like sulking though - she should tell you how/why she is annoyed.

GeordieShorefg Tue 31-Jan-17 13:34:55

The most boring dilemma in the world

Jinxxx Tue 31-Jan-17 13:36:02

*has a point

bec3105 Tue 31-Jan-17 13:36:05

Tell her your child's safety is the most important thing not who buys the car seat.

bec3105 Tue 31-Jan-17 13:37:25

Jinxxx she said her mum couldn't drop it of in time which I took to be different from her mother in law who offered to buy the car seat

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 31-Jan-17 13:37:29

Jinxx - you're confusing the OP's mother and MIL. OP's mother wasn't able to drop off a carseat in time, OP's MIL hasn't yet bought one.

Lovewineandchocs Tue 31-Jan-17 13:38:37

Jinxxx no the OP's mum has one but wasn't able to drop it off in time, so they bought one.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 31-Jan-17 13:39:11

"Mil offered to buy one a few weeks ago."
But still hadn't bought it a few weeks later.

BertrandRussell Tue 31-Jan-17 13:39:32

Did she know when you needed it for?

BobbyNoggle Tue 31-Jan-17 13:39:45

OP said her mother not her MIL couldn't drop her car seat off in time. Totally different.
FWIW I'd just ignore it. MIL obviously likes the "idea" of buying the car seat-but hasn't done anything about it on a practical level.

Happyinthehills Tue 31-Jan-17 13:40:33

Same for MILs as toddlers - reward good behaviour and ignore poor behaviour.

AyeAmarok Tue 31-Jan-17 13:47:49

Ignore the pathetic tantrum.

Aki23 Tue 31-Jan-17 13:48:42

If she wanted to buy one she can still give you the money. My mother and father in law both say to me to buy birthday/Christmas gifts for LO and they will give the money - their attitude is that I know what he wants and its easier for them. In the same way you needed this urgently and you knew what you wanted - or would when you went and had a look

stella23 Tue 31-Jan-17 13:49:36

When she offfered to buy one what did you say? Did you say you need one asap? Did you tell her what type to get? Or was it just left vague,

MrsDustyBusty Tue 31-Jan-17 13:49:44

Shocking levels of aggression towards the mother in law. She hasn't stabbed anyone.

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