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AIBU to take my baby girl out of nursery after seeing her 'key person' push a crying baby twice?

(197 Posts)
Snf13 Mon 30-Jan-17 22:25:58

My little girl is 10 months and started nursery only a month ago! She had a hard time getting settled and I sometimes found her shaking and in tears when I was coming to get her in the evening. Something that had never happened before. She always was a happy baby!
I put it down to her not being used to new people, other babies, noise, a different routine etc.. but something strange was that my girl was friendly and holding her arms to other staff members except her key person at nursery. I found this woman quite rude and cold and she was making me uncomfortable but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
So, after a month, my LO was finally getting settled, but...this morning when I brought her to nursery, I caught the care giver red handed: she was sitting on the floor staring at a crying baby (8 months old) and she pushed him quite violently with her hand, he fell backwards and then found his balance back sitting, but started screaming (more of being scared than in pain I think) and she pushed him again! She had no compassion at all, and just looked like she just didn't care/was annoyed at his crying! It lasted a few seconds and then she saw me. She wasn't even apologetic or flustered. She just stood up and started getting the breakfast ready. She even had some sort of defiant look in my direction and didn't say Hello or Good morning as she usually does! She just shouted at another staff member to pick my daughter up from my arms! It was like she was pissed off I had caught her!
So I debated all day about what to do and felt sick in my stomach thinking she might be abusive to other kids, and my LO, and tonight, I said that my girl was not going to come back.
When she asked why, I said that I was looking for a new nursery ( I didn't want to confront her as she scared me) and she didn't probe more. It was obvious that she knew why I was taking my girl out, and the only thing she said was: 'You know you have to mention it 4 weeks in advance and we'll keep your payment for February?'
She didn't even fake she was going to miss my LO (she fakes 'loving her' and 'her being so cute' every evening)
I took my girl and said I was going to come and pick her things tomorrow. I intend to come and report the incident to the nursery's director at the same time. However I am conscious that there was no one else who saw this woman's behaviour and it is her word against mine!

Sorry for the long email, so all in all, my questions are:
1) AIBU to take my LO (who just settled in) out of this nursery by fear she might not be cared for properly (or abused)?
2) AIBU to report this incident/this woman to the director?
3) Should I inform social services or is it too much?

Thanks for your advice/help!

Angelik Mon 30-Jan-17 22:28:32

Can't believe you're debating it. Report to nursery manager and child services immediately.

BertieBotts Mon 30-Jan-17 22:29:30

Report the incident to the director. Let her response inform whether you keep your DD there or not.

It's not social services you'd need to inform, it's ofsted.

This all sounds very odd. Why would someone push over a crying baby in front of a parent? confused

ollieplimsoles Mon 30-Jan-17 22:29:49

Sorry op but what the flying fuck did you think you were doing- leaving your lo at a place where you just saw the care giver push a crying baby over?

Why didn't you say "excuse me but I just clearly saw you pish that baby over, what do you think you are doing"

We have instincts for a reason, get your kid out of there!
And yes tell someone what you saw

tobecontinued2000 Mon 30-Jan-17 22:31:44

Report her.

hatethegame Mon 30-Jan-17 22:32:48

I would take this higher than the nursery - it's abusive and if the parent of that baby knew what had happened they would take the baby out straight away. Please tell the parent of the baby and ofsted.

ApproachingATunnel Mon 30-Jan-17 22:34:39

Please report. You saw it and are making sure your DD is safe but others with their babies in her care have no idea.
Have never been in this situation so others will have more practical info just wanted to say please dont just leave it. That poor babysad

Disabrie22 Mon 30-Jan-17 22:34:41

I thought the same - I wouldn't have left her. What you witnessed was child abuse and you need to call social services immediately.

esk1mo Mon 30-Jan-17 22:35:07

is there no cctv inside?

Astoria7974 Mon 30-Jan-17 22:35:43

You can contact the police too. I believe it would be covered under assault & they would ask to see cctv

Catsize Mon 30-Jan-17 22:36:24


Cakingbad Mon 30-Jan-17 22:36:25

You need to report what you saw and ask for another key worker and insist that that woman does not look after your DD. But if your DD likes all the other adults there maybe she could stay at the nursery if you trust the management to deal with this woman?

Knittedfrog Mon 30-Jan-17 22:36:56

Please report this to all the necessary authorities.
Your baby is safe but others are not.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 30-Jan-17 22:37:09

Take her out and report her. That is abuse If it were my child. I'd want to know

3luckystars Mon 30-Jan-17 22:37:13

My baby was in a creche and I saw a minder slam a toy down in front of her. I didn’t know how to react either, it still really haunts me now about what was going on when I wasn't there. I don't think I reacted enough, but I took my daughter out of the place, it was many years ago but I am still angry with myself over it.

What you saw was extremely serious, the poor little baby has no voice but you do. Speak up! Shout! Take your child out immediately and please find that babies mother and tell her what happened.

Screwinthetuna Mon 30-Jan-17 22:37:29

You 100% have to tell management and move your child. If you've seen that happen then the other staff workers have seen it happen and they haven't done anything about it. They know someone is basically abusing children there and they're letting it happen.
I'd never be leaving my child there again!!

ConvincingLiar Mon 30-Jan-17 22:37:54

I wouldn't necessarily remove child from nursery, I'd keep her off for a bit and give them a chance to investigate/suspend offending member of staff.

LexieLulu Mon 30-Jan-17 22:39:15

You need to report her before she hurts a child

ApproachingATunnel Mon 30-Jan-17 22:43:17

And i can bet your daughter has been treated simlarly by that woman, all the signs are there! Dont be intimidated by that abusive cow, get angry and speak up!

MadHattersWineParty Mon 30-Jan-17 22:43:53

so she pushed a helpless baby when there were likely to be parents/other staff members around confused

How on earth have you not taken this up with the manager/director?

SeahorsesSwim Mon 30-Jan-17 22:45:00

Wtf?! That poor child, you did nothing and left your daughter there? Find a decent childminder with references, plus report the staff member that's appalling.

Snf13 Mon 30-Jan-17 22:45:03

BertieBotts: she didn't do it in front of me. She didn't see me coming into the nursery's courtyard as she had her back to the window and looking down at this baby and I was very quiet coming in (My LO was asleep in her carrier). When she looked up and saw me by the window, that's when she stood up and pretended nothing had happened!

Robstersgirl Mon 30-Jan-17 22:45:16

You have to report this. Just because your baby is now safe doesn't mean someone else's child isn't at risk. This is a massive safeguarding issue. She should dismissed pending investigations.

Helloitsme87 Mon 30-Jan-17 22:46:54

I work in a nursery. This is unacceptable. Report, take your baby out and refuse to pay fees. This is abuse and I feel sick reading this

cholla Mon 30-Jan-17 22:47:29

If she intimidated you just think how a small child would feel. Take your child out immediately. Report to everyone you can imagine. She assaulted a child.

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