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Less of a AIBU more of a what can he do?

(10 Posts)
Doodlebug5 Mon 30-Jan-17 19:32:07

A friend has been called into his child's school to see the EWO as his son hasn't been going to school properly. This is the second time the mother has been called in and the first for him. He has been aware of their involvement for sometime. He has a responsibility as a parent to get his child to school he understands that. But how?

The mother had been told she can get a school closer but didn't do anything about it so that place fell through. He has been phoning around to see if there is a closer school but there are waiting lists everywhere

He can't pick the child up and take to school because of his working hours. He can't renegotiate his working hours because he would lose his job. It's not known for its family friendly policy - they want someone there at that time and that's it. There are plenty of people willing to do his job. If he quit his job he would lose his house and have no where to live.

He has approached the mother about taking on the child full time as the mother is struggling with his behaviour and the mother has refused stating she would fight him in court. He could get a childminder to drop the child off in school and he could drop off before work. Mum couldn't get to the child minder as she doesn't drive. he could drop the child off at the childminder but pays mum a lot of maintenance so can't actually afford a child minder without stopping the maintenance which he won't.

He doesn't live with anyone so doesn't have anyone that could help. His mum works full time so she couldn't help and his dad died 10 years ago.

He could pay for a taxi but the school is in one of the worst congested areas in the county so it would cost an actual fortune everyday which neither of them have the money to do so.

She has three children at that school by the way so it's not just my friends child it is all four of them. (Only one is his child)

I'm running out of ideas as to how he can get his child to school...? I can't help I work weird hours, but I would if I could.

Trifleorbust Mon 30-Jan-17 19:38:41

Why isn't the child attending?

Celaena Mon 30-Jan-17 19:42:39

He has approached the mother about taking on the child full time as the mother is struggling with his behaviour and the mother has refused stating she would fight him in court.

i think that he has to try to get full time care of the child. If the DC is not attending school then its neglect (i think)

Trifleorbust Mon 30-Jan-17 19:44:46

Celaena: Lots of parents have school refusing children and aren't neglecting them confused

It depends why the child isn't attending, what the best course action might be.

Doodlebug5 Mon 30-Jan-17 19:47:17

Trifle.. colds, sickness, coughs, felt "unwell", missed bus. Mother is very defensive so if friend says why didn't you get the next bus she will refuse to talk to him about it.

He really likes school when he's there. Whenever I've spoken to the child he's full of stuff about what they have done at school and what he's been learning about. So no issues at school it's just getting him there

Trifleorbust Mon 30-Jan-17 19:54:19

Doodlebug5: But do you know whether she is keeping him off, or he is refusing to go? Because if it's the latter, your friend can't solve that by taking him to live with him if he has to work. confused

butterfly990 Mon 30-Jan-17 20:00:38

Are they eligible for a school bus? Is the distance more than 3 miles away, are they on child tax credits, Is it a particular religious school?

Its worth looking into.

Doodlebug5 Mon 30-Jan-17 20:01:04

I suspect it's the former rather than the latter. It would be good to know if it's for all children or just friends child? If it's just for friends child I guess he is refusing school but if it's for all of them I guess that would mean it's her? But your right I don't know for certain. I always get the impression he likes school and he talks a lot about his friends at school and what he's been learning.

Doodlebug5 Mon 30-Jan-17 20:02:18

Butterfly I think the school have been through that with mum, I'm not sure of the outcome of that I know she gets the normal bus to school now.
Not a religious school no

Celaena Mon 30-Jan-17 20:29:27

Trifleorbust - i get what you are saying - which is why i put i think in brackets, in a kind of... isnt it? rather than a definitely is if that makes any sense at all

from the op (i know its not a lot of info) it seems to be they think its because the mum cannot 'be bothered' to get the DC to school on time - apologies if thats not the case

are all the other DC not getting to school or is that just this chid?

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