To ask if anyone has tried 1 2 3 magic....

[Sarb81]

...and whether it works? Thinking of using it for my challenging 5year old but dont want to go through the motions with a new discipline technique unless others have had positive experiences using it.

TIA xx

[MoonlightandMusic]

Do you mean the whole "I'm going to count to three and then [ consequence of choice]"?

Yes, and it worked to the extent that I was generally able to say "I'm going to count to three" without adding a consequence by the time small child was four/five. I did start when small child was around a year old though (and it took quite a while and following through on consequences and ignoring subsequent tantrums before it was consistently effective).

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Counting works on DD. If she just gets a bit over-excited I'll say, "I don't want to start counting" in a sympathetic voice and she listens.

What I really like for older children is "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk". That worked wonders.

How is your DC challenging?

[bumsexatthebingo]

I've heard of it. Is it generally used with Adhd and similar. I don't think it's counting to 3 - more of a 3 step thing. No direct experience though sorry.

[bumsexatthebingo]

Scrap that I was thinking of something else. Just looked it up and I don't like the look of it. Doesn't seem very respectful or to be modelling behaviour you'd like to see.

[TheSecondOfHerName]

Yes, I found it very effective with the three neurotypical children.

It had limited success with the one with ADHD and ASD until he was on medication, and then it worked.

I had 4 under 4.5 (including twins), and I needed them to be able to follow instructions for safety reasons and logistical reasons, or we would not have been able to leave the house.

It's not the counting that's the effective part. It's (a) not getting into a whole debate/discussion when you urgently need them to follow an instruction (see point above about safety) and (b) addressing inappropriate behaviour immediately before it accumulatively wears you down.

[TheSecondOfHerName]

I would clarify that when we were in a less immediate situation (e.g. not next to a busy road) I always then explained why I had given the instruction.

[shrunkenhead]

I don't quite get how or why it works but I've always done the count to 5 thing and never got to 5 without seeing results/child doing what was asked of them! Just as well as I have no consequence in place!

[user1482403349]

My mom used to do it to me all the time and works every single time!

[CherrySkull]

yes, its a really good method, the only thing is, you HAVE to carry out the consequence if you get to 3, or it doesn't work.

[maggiethemagpie]

The oooone... twwwwwo.... three! thing does indeed work wonders. I'm not sure how it works but my two are so scared of the consequences of not doing whatever they're told by three that they almost always do it!

[TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey]

Yes. I went on a taught course (when the powers that be thought it was my parenting skills and not My daughter having ASD) the majority of parents had some good success with it. Its more about not losing control of your emotions and staying calm, in control of the situation. The 1,2,3 part is for the child to calm down. Its not q threat it just lets them think. Then if the 3 or whatever number you feel is better is reached and a consequence is forthcoming there is an opportunity to explain why once the child is calm again.

[5foot5]

Another one her who found it effective. I never once had to say what would do if I got to 3, just saying "I am going to count to three - ONE" was enough to make a difference. And I don't think I was ever that scary a Mum!

[Quirkyle]

I use it. Ds asd and ds nt. It works very well but I find I have to be on the ball all the time. Works very well with ds with Asd, youngest is challenging!