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AIBU?

Family filling house with gifts

47 replies

engineersthumb · 29/01/2017 20:45

OK so dc's grandparents are great but they have the tendency to buy the most pita gifts ever. For starters: a ride on car and track that is 5m long, a play tent that takes up half the living room (not one that could be used outside at all just in the house), a vehicle park that takes up almost as much space as the tent, large floor puzzles (OK I like these actually!), books containing hundreds of puzzle pieces (2 year old dc, puzzle confetti!), indoor activity station with play doe and other concoctions, easels, not to mention various chalks and pens all designed to indelibly mark in some industrial process or other...or so it seems!
All with the slogan "but you've got such a big house" .... no it's a boxy three bed terraced house and if we put anymore stuff inside it I will have to sell one of the children!
Does anyone else share this pain or am I being eternally ungrateful?

OP posts:
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CatsRidingRollercoasters · 29/01/2017 20:48

YANBU. We have the same problem. I don't know what the answer is. Being completely honest has not worked!

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thecatsarecrazy · 29/01/2017 20:51

Yanbu. My children have a cupboard of things like that

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Melstarrynight · 29/01/2017 20:53

If anyone comes up with the answer to this I'd love to know, without being ungrateful. We also get 'but you have so much space' , but what they mean is that we can move freely through our house without tripping over clutter, and we'd like to keep it that way.

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melonribena · 29/01/2017 20:54

We have the exact problem! Then they come round and demand to see where the things are!

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greathat · 29/01/2017 20:55

Do they live nearby? Take it to their house and say they have plenty of toys at home and need some at grandparents

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IHeartKingThistle · 29/01/2017 20:55

Bin the puzzle books. It will feel rebellious and fantastic. Ask to keep at least one of the giant toys at their house. Worked for me.

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ItsyBitsyBikini · 29/01/2017 21:01

We're the same, except they buy things not age appropriate so I just have toys lying around until my son turns the right age. The best was when I was still pregnant and they asked if I wanted them to buy a walker! No! He's not even born, it'll be lying around someone's house (mine) for upto 8 months.
They love him and I appreciate it but it drives me mad! I just nod and smile, Dp (who's family it is) gets annoyed but they do it for all the kids and we'd look ungrateful and he'd be left out if we said anything so we grin and bear it.
Throw some stuff away, as someone who had hardly any toys, I don't know why kids need so much!

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carrotcakecupcake · 29/01/2017 21:05

We have the same issue! We've tried to give gentle suggestions around holidays/birthdays which are listened to sometimes. It's the gifts that are given for no reason that are starting to grate which sounds soooo ungrateful. Every time we have a visit DS gets a gift, so that now he expects a present - for no reason. Really difficult when we are trying to use reward charts and use small token toys as bribes prizes.

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Jengnr · 29/01/2017 21:08

My parents and inlaws have bigger houses than us. We leave stuff there :)

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LilQueenie · 29/01/2017 21:10

Do you have a shed or summer house? Could you build one for keeping the toys in.

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MusicToMyEars800 · 29/01/2017 21:26

ItsyBitsyBikini same problem as you, toys that aren't age appropriate, I ende up just giving them away as I didn't have space to store it all. my DM has a habit of buying things that are big space takers, such as an enormous play kitchen and a big tent with crawling tunnels and I don't have any room for it all, so have to store it or get rid.

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ginswinger · 29/01/2017 21:27

Here's the solution

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Crumbs1 · 29/01/2017 21:28

Have a one in one out rule. If they buy something new then take an older toy to a charity shop.
In general conversation mention things that would be well received - a tricycle, a new car seat, a big boys bed etc.
Be grateful they want to be generous and kind,

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seafoodeatit · 29/01/2017 21:29

We had this, mainly aunts and uncles buying massive toys and DC being the only nephew was a large part of the problem! we said if it was anything bigger then something like a board game box type size that we'd need asking first because we may not have the space. It's worked, we've also put a limit of one toy only.

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SundialShadow · 29/01/2017 21:30

Ebay.....

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WhooooAmI24601 · 29/01/2017 21:31

This sounds super-ungrateful (and I'm not really a complete cow, I promise) but things like that tend to make their way into my classroom to replace older, tired toys. With two DCs and both of us having huge families, we are constantly having clear-outs. The other thing I do is save the nicer ones for the local women's hostel. I tend to take round a job-lot and they're always incredibly grateful for new toys, books and bits for children as most of the women staying there have children and often have very little of their own.

I don't tell MIL that, though. I just smile and say thank you.

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WellErrr · 29/01/2017 21:33

Every time the children go to their house, take a toy 'to play with.' Then 'forget' it. If they ask you to take it, say 'oh no we'll keep it here they'll love playing with it at yours!'

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BackforGood · 29/01/2017 21:33

You need to move to a culture of 'wishlists' for birthdays and Christmas

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DaughterDrowningInJunk · 29/01/2017 21:46

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

elizabethdraper · 29/01/2017 21:53

After Christmas I told the grandparents we will no longer be accepting any toys in any way shape or form. They will either be handed straight back or straight to the charity shop. They will not be crossing our front door.

They will be told what to buy for all future celebrations

Ie duvet covers, slippers, dressing gowns, coats, hats, scarves, trackside st

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engineersthumb · 29/01/2017 22:11

Wow Elizabeth that's hard line!

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Crumbs1 · 29/01/2017 22:17

Elizabeth, if you said that to me I would stop any further gifts at all. Nasty attitude rather than gratitude for grandparents generosity. What a pity to undermine their relationship with the children in this way.

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FeelingSmurfy · 29/01/2017 22:25

"oh isn't that lovely, DC will have great fun playing with that when we visit you" when they protest that it is for your house just laugh "good one, I nearly fell for that! You know we haven't got any room for more toys, the DC will look forward to playing with it at your house though" smile sweetly

Mention to the kids during the visit how fun it will be playing with it at grandma and grandads house, then when she leaves pick it up and follow her and offer to take it to her car or can she manage. Just play dumb, don't acknowledge that she could possibly have wanted to leave it in your home

Repeat until their house is getting full and they start to get the picture

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Grumpybeforemytime · 29/01/2017 23:00

YANBU. We have the same problem and it really stresses me out!!

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ItsyBitsyBikini · 29/01/2017 23:10

music he was 6 months old at Christmas, so we got a load of toys 1 year plus. Including a keyboard thingy that you have to stand up to use.
We have tried wishlists, they get ignored. We've tried any big presents get delivered to us (dps family live a bit away and with a small car, we can't fit everything in to come home) that didn't work.
We've tried elizabeth stance and got told that our son would be left out and we could not argue as it was our decision. I don't want my son to be left out so we take gifts with a smile and then hide them. Ds only plays with a few things a day anyway.

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