Hi I am a first time poster long time lurker, I don't even have kids but just always happen to come to mumsnet for advice on stuff like mental health body confidence job problems blah blah etc.
So basically I am wondering am I in the wrong here. Was at a friends house last night who was having a small gathering/party and I knew most people. I was having a fair enough time until I happened to be alone in the kitchen when a boy I have known/ known of (we have mutual friends) for about a year, slammed the door shut and came onto me. I was extremely drunk and am struggling to recall everything perfectly as i type this but I remember being shocked and kissing back out of fear. Said boy is quite intimidating and belittling so I was feeling extremely awkward and not sure how to get out of the situation as no one else was about. I know I shouldve nipped it in the bud and stopped him there and then but as I say I was both scared and too drunk to know what to do.
Anytime someone would come into the room he would immediately pull away from me and pretend to make normal convo. I should have realised at the time this was because he has a gf but I completely forgot this until everything had happened.
Anyway this led outside where he started to get touchy in places I felt uncomfortable with but I still didn't say no, though I did't say yes either. I let him do what he wanted, which basically consisted of everything but actual penile penetration, although I remember him quite aggressively stating several times that he wanted to, and was getting really annoyed when I said I really wasn't sure, calling me a piece of shit etc and tugging my hair (he was quite aggressive in general as I have woken up with several bruises and both my earrings ripped out).
I don't have a really accurate measure of time but I think maybe about half an hour/ 45 mins later I remember coming back inside and just breaking down, alone in a room as I remembered about his gf. We are both attending a formal in less than two weeks where he is going with this girl and I don't think I'll be able to look her in the eye let alone tell her, although she deserves to know.
I have obviously not messaged him since but he has sent me a snapchat today saying 'nothing happened'. i think he is terrified that I might tell his girlfriend.
Sorry if this is more of a WWYD or should be posted in another thread but I suppose I am just wanting reassurance/backing that I should tell his girlfriend, and was I in the wrong all along by not telling him no upfront. I have told two of my closest friends, one said that it was his fault for deliberately cheating and the other said I need to be more careful.
Thanks for reading if you got this far, sorry its long
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AIBU?
to continue even though i felt uncomfortable
60 replies
Discobabe98 · 29/01/2017 19:34
OP posts:
Deelove ·
29/01/2017 19:43
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Message deleted by MNHQ due to victim blaming. See our We Believe You Campaign.
PoppadomPreach ·
29/01/2017 19:59
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