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to have a go at DD for faking sick off of work?

(74 Posts)
Thornberries Sun 29-Jan-17 12:07:38

DD is 17 and has a job in a supermarket. She has only been there 5 months. She is due back at work tomorrow night and admitted to me that "she lied about being ill, so she could get some school work done" hmm can I just say, I haven't made her get a job, this job is so she can have money to go out with friends, etc. (I don't have a lot of money and can't afford things like that).

She has only been there 5 months!! Took 2 days off for sickness (she only does 2 shifts a week). So took a whole week shock AIBU to have a bit of a moan?? She wasn't even ill!

HecateAntaia Sun 29-Jan-17 12:12:53

There's sometjing wrong with her time management if she only works two shifts a week and couldnt find time for her homework.
I'd be saying to her that if you have outstanding work the thing you cancel is your social life not your job.
Tell her what is likely to happen if this is how she's going to carry on.

Then, if she carries on, she takes the consequences.

Tesco are not known for being overly generous employers. If she pisses them about, she risks losing her job then she has no money until she finds a new one.
Natural consequences are the best ones for teaching a lesson.

Chillyegg Sun 29-Jan-17 12:14:42

Well maybe instead of moaning maybe talk to her about time management. School is more important than her part time college job sounds like shes struggling a bit.

Thornberries Sun 29-Jan-17 12:14:48

She doesn't work for Tesco? She works for Sainsbury's.

Yes, I agree. She hasn't been out with friends this week, but don't agree with her taking time off.

kilmuir Sun 29-Jan-17 12:14:57

I would let it go this time but remind her about priorities, commitments etc

SparkleShinyGlitter Sun 29-Jan-17 12:15:08

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Katy07 Sun 29-Jan-17 12:16:02

You're being perfectly reasonable as per PPs.

HecateAntaia Sun 29-Jan-17 12:19:11

Oh yes sorry. 😂 you said supermarket i heard tesco. It's cos i shop there.

Anyway.
Just swap the names. The rest of the post is the same.

Bloopbleep Sun 29-Jan-17 12:23:23

If she's old enough to work she's old enough to learn the consequences of not turning up for herself. There's no harm in talking to her about why she had to take time off and pointing out what the consequences are but as the job has nothing to do with you I actually think you need to leave her to it. If she loses it she learns a lesson and you're not the bad guy.

Thornberries Sun 29-Jan-17 12:41:38

Bloop would you say the same if she was doing it for sixth form!?

NormaSmuff Sun 29-Jan-17 12:44:32

My dd would have discussed it with me first and tbh I dont know what I would advise.
sixth form is important
what did she say to you at the time?

Magzmarsh Sun 29-Jan-17 12:45:51

YANBU and Sainsbury's are usually a good employer. My dd did 12 hours a week when she was 16 and got over £7 an hour. She had to learn to effectively manage her time, she was studying for 5 highers, duke of Edinburgh, volunteer guide leader and going out with her friends and was exhausted most of the time but it's a good way of learning how to cope with everything.

NormaSmuff Sun 29-Jan-17 12:47:16

i dont think I would have had a go at her. She can have a go at herself when she has less money.
I would be worried that she would lose her job but obviously school work is more important.

Dafspunk Sun 29-Jan-17 12:47:41

I think she's shown maturity in prioritising a long term goal (her studies) over short term gain. She won't get another chance at an education but there are thousands of minimum wage supermarket jobs out there.

Pinkheart5915 Sun 29-Jan-17 12:49:57

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MummyToThree479 Sun 29-Jan-17 12:54:01

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NormaSmuff Sun 29-Jan-17 12:55:55

Did you know she was actually studying while she was saying she was off sick?

Zaphodsotherhead Sun 29-Jan-17 12:56:33

Slightly off topic (sorry), but I work with a huge age range of people (from mid 60's and can't afford to retire, to teens doing weekend work) and the teens and early twenties seem to have a very different attitude to work to the older people. I realise I am generalising hugely here, but the younger members of staff don't seem to think twice about taking days off for hangovers, 'flu' (that they get over in a matter of hours), a sore leg, etc. While the older members turn up and just look stoic for their shift.

Is it something to do with the environment today? Are kids growing up with a sense of entitlement that older people don't have?

gamerwidow Sun 29-Jan-17 12:57:04

I think it's right to let your DD know it's not acceptable work place behaviour to go sick because you've managed your time poorly. If you don't then she will learn the hard way by losing her job.

Thornberries Sun 29-Jan-17 12:59:26

She was definitely studying... She is really worried about her a levels as she didn't do well in her mock so spend those 2 days in bed making flash cards (that's why I thought she was ill (in bed)) but knew she was doing the work.

It's not right though, I know she wants money/have something on her CV, but you can't just do that.

gamerwidow Sun 29-Jan-17 13:01:02

Zaphod I find our youngsters at work difficult to manage too. Even the best of them can't get through a shift without making umpteen texts or phone calls. I've had to discipline some of them for watching you tube at the same time as doing their work. I wouldn't ever have to tell the older staff not to do that they'd never even consider that it might ok 🙄

Crinkle77 Sun 29-Jan-17 13:03:03

Don't be too harsh on her. It's not like she skived off hungover. You have said she is worried about her A-Levels. Can you maybe help her come up with homework timetable or something so can fit everything in.

specialsubject Sun 29-Jan-17 13:05:55

an employer that disciplines/sacks skivers is a good employer, it is bad for morale for those who do the work to see a lazy bum get away with it.

kid needs to learn the lesson that 'they' are not born yesterday, and if she does this too often they will decide to rub along without her.

PortiaCastis Sun 29-Jan-17 13:09:33

I worked for Saintsbury's in my student days and they have a strict absence policy.
Tell your dd to be very careful as she'll recieve disciplinarys and could lose her job. The supermarkets are not going to put up with someone who can't be arsed !
My dd went on a waiting list to work part time in a supermarket and a vacancy came up because they'd sacked someone for absence.

CointreauVersial Sun 29-Jan-17 13:10:17

If her job is interfering with her school work she needs to reduce her hours or consider another job.

If she's made a commitment to work, then she must honour that. Skiving off for whatever reason isn't acceptable, and YANBU to tell her that.

Having said that, she's only 17, so as others have said, it's a learning exercise in time management, so help her to find the best solution.

We have exactly the same situation with DS, also 17 (although in his case it's social engagements sometimes getting in the way - I wish it were school work!).

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