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To ask how single parents of grown up kids manage financially?

(53 Posts)
TheRippedOutPage Sun 29-Jan-17 09:14:29

I've been looking into the logistics of ending my marriage. Not a definate decision yet but something I fear may be on the horizon.

Realistically, by the time this ever happened I'd have no dependants at home. Just a grown up teen son who would probably be working or doing an apprentiship of some kind.

Therefore I'd get no child benefit, no child tax credits, no child maintanance - nothing. Because of my £22k salary I also wouldn't get working tax credit. (Fair enough, I'm not moaning).

So this leaves me with roughly £1600 a month to live on. This has come as a bit of a shock to me as I've been living in a married 'hubby on good salary' bubble for a good few years now.

Is it doable??? mortgage would be around £500 a month. Council tax around £80 a month.

Squeegle Sun 29-Jan-17 09:17:29

I'm sure it's doable; you'll have to write down all your outgoings and work it through. Presumably your teenage son will start to bring in some money in the scenario you describe...

sdaisy26 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:18:12

Well can you cover your other expenses with £1020? Plenty of people do.

Work out what you will need to spend money on (utilities, phone, internet, car/travel costs, food etc) & go from there.

KeepingitReal2 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:19:50

Bumping for you... It is doable but tight. With children all grown up perhaps a new career for yourself?

elodie2000 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:20:24

You wouldn't be left with much disposable income at all so would need to live frugally. Try one of the bank's budgeting apps and put in all your outgoings. Transport/food/ bills etc. You'll get a clearer picture that way.
Surely you will get money from the sale of the house too?

bythewatersedge Sun 29-Jan-17 09:20:42

It is doable, certainly. Generally speaking, it is more expensive living alone than it is in a couple and as such it might mean making some adjustments in ways you may not expect but it's as well to be aware of.

RedHelenB Sun 29-Jan-17 09:20:57

I worked out £1000 a month would be the minimum I could live on and still have some "excess" money with no mortgage when the kids are grown up so definitely doable!

Atlast2017 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:22:19

How many years do you have left on the mortgage? Is your h on the mortgage too? What happens to the house when you split? Would your h support your son financially? When are you planning to retire?

I would look at short term and long term finances and then look at how you can survive eg extra income, downsize, reduce outgoings.

TheRippedOutPage Sun 29-Jan-17 09:22:24

I've done a mock budget and after paying petrol, groceries and bills etc I'd have around £600 left.

It just freaks me out as I've been used to having £2k left a month after paying everything. Not boasting, just trying to explain why it's a massive shock to me. Currently I start shitting myself if we have less than a grand in bank. I'd have to get used to a whole new mindset. It's really opened my eyes, put it that way

Sweets101 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:23:15

Yes it's doable especially with that mortgage payment.
But, if its some way off now I'd be looking at how to increase my earning potential to be ready.

Isadora2007 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:23:21

Couldn't you sell the marital home and get half the money for a smaller place? You may also get alimony if in England? And some percentage of his pension or earnings?

Sweets101 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:24:52

Start preparing and getting used to it now OP. Put surplus into savings ready

TheRippedOutPage Sun 29-Jan-17 09:25:23

We joint own this house but I wouldn't want to stay here. We'd have to sell it or he'd have to give me around £10k. That would be the deposit on my new house. Buying would be much cheaper than renting.
£500 a month mortgage compared to £700 a month rent.

throwingpebbles Sun 29-Jan-17 09:26:46

If your salaries are so high how do you have so muff

ladylambkin Sun 29-Jan-17 09:26:48

Definitively doable I'm currently living on the same monthly income and still have dependants at home

ferriswheel Sun 29-Jan-17 09:26:58

How old are you? Would a new career be doable?

throwingpebbles Sun 29-Jan-17 09:27:06

Sorry - so little equity in the house?

throwingpebbles Sun 29-Jan-17 09:28:45

what other assets etc do you have? You need to go get decent legal advice.

Squeegle Sun 29-Jan-17 09:29:11

You probably need to get some legal advice on how you would split the house, might not just be 50/50 especially if your son will live with you

LemonSqueezy0 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:29:17

You'd be entitled to half the house, but that could be delayed for years realistically. I wouldn't bank on alimony! You're already working so a judge would laugh you out of court! If you've been a sahm you'd be entitled to some of his pension. If it's good, he might be advised to give you the house as full settlement instead. I think the amounts you said you'd have would be doable but get that it's a massive adjustment in your personal circumstances.

RandomMess Sun 29-Jan-17 09:31:31

Is that allowing for the fact that you may be entitled to more than 50% as he has higher earning power or that you may be entitled to spousal maintenance if he earns more than you?

Gallavich Sun 29-Jan-17 09:33:20

How could you only be entitled to £10k after 20+ years of marriage to a high earner?!
Have you had legal advice?
As per your original question though - of course that sum is liveable. You will have to scale down your lifestyle.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 29-Jan-17 09:36:58

There's a council tax single person discount of 25% for single adult households - depends on age of your son & if he's earning or in fte - and my water company also offer a capped rate for lone parents. If your son chooses to live with you and earns he should contribute to the household.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Sun 29-Jan-17 09:37:16

Yes it's doable. I bought the house I'm in now earning less money and very similar mortgage.

You're lucky to take home that much. My salary is over £30k and I take home under £1600 a month as I'll be paying for my education stealth tax for eternity.

TheRippedOutPage Sun 29-Jan-17 09:38:25

There is about £40k in the house but when we bought it, he put in £20k of his own savings. So take that off the £40k you're left with £20k to split.

I get that I could go for 50/50 but I don't want to fleece him. He's done nothing wrong and I always said I wouldn't go after the initial £20k in the event of a split.

Same with his pension etc, I get that I probably could - but I don't feel it would be right. He's worked hard for years for that. It's not mine to take.

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