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Aibu to want to move house without help?

(10 Posts)
NamaNush Sat 28-Jan-17 13:37:02

We are moving in a few months and my inlaws have suggested more than once that they come to help. When they offer help, it means looking after DD (3 and they adore her), not with any of the unpacking or anything.

I am definitely grateful for their offer but I don't want them to come. They live hundreds of miles away so they would be looking at staying at least 3-4 nights. I don't want the extra pressure of having to put them up in the flat we live in now (for at least one night) and then in the new place when we're in the middle of unpacking. Them staying in a hotel is out of the question.

We are using professional movers for the move so I really don't think it's necessary to have them here and I think it's going to cause us more stress. We get on fine but i'm not very close to them. They are very intense and can soon become too much for me to take.

Aibu to say no? I'd prefer to ask them to come for a weekend when we're settled in.

user1477282676 Sat 28-Jan-17 14:02:27

YANBU. My FIL came and stayed when we moved and I found it very annoying. I didn't want to bloody cook and all that....I wouldn;t have but one feels one must when visitors are around.

Just say no.

IMissGrannyW Sat 28-Jan-17 14:30:55

Absolutely you can say "that's so kind of you but please don't. I'd much prefer you to come when we can put you up in comfort and we can all enjoy each other's company. DD will be fine as the professional movers will be doing all the lifting and carrying"

HecateAntaia Sat 28-Jan-17 14:34:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mambono5 Sat 28-Jan-17 14:35:11


I packed everything in my last move with 2 preschoolers, only employed removal men to carry boxes and furniture. The little ones were not that much help (ahem....), and I only had 1 week to do the whole house, but any one staying over would have been a nightmare.
You can also explain that the guest room is being used to store your first boxes, and nothing will be ready on the other side either (obviously).

Thank them kindly, but say no. Maybe remind your husband to confirm the NO, you are not just being polite.

Seeingadistance Sat 28-Jan-17 14:38:24

Definitely not unreasonable. I've moved a few times over the past 12 years, and the fewer people there are, the easier and less stressful I find it.

NamaNush Sat 28-Jan-17 16:13:25

Thanks for replies. I haven't moved in ages and then it wasn't too difficult so wasn't sure if I was being unrealistic.
Not really sure on dh's stance, I think he'd prefer they didn't come but probably doesn't want to offend them either. I will firmly suggest that they book flights for a month after we move to give us time to settle in.

mambono5 Sat 28-Jan-17 16:20:21

Check the price quoted by removal companies to do your packing. They pack EVERYTHING (some people remember fondly their rubbish bin being packed FULL grin ) , so it's not great if you would rather do a clear out and declutter, but it's a lot less work.

I prefer packing myself, but with young kids who still need fresh air everyday, it's a tense week - or whatever time you have.

trinity0097 Sat 28-Jan-17 16:20:23

When I was little I got shippe doff to my grandparents during a house move for a few nights, could that be a compromise??

NamaNush Sat 28-Jan-17 16:27:38

Yes thought about that mambo but we really need to declutter!

Would be an idea trinity - if they lived closer. They'd need to fly here to pick her up and there aren't flights every day meaning they'd have to stay and the same coming back. And we'd have to take more time off work to take her. It's not worth it.

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