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To say no to trip

(123 Posts)
Shezza71 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:47:30

Honest opinions on me being too strict.
My dd16(July birthday so youngest in her year) wants to go on a trip to Bangor in Wales with 2 other friends.
We live just outside London so involves train to Victoria to get a coach, then a 9 hour journey to Bangor, where they will get a taxi to a hotel.
The trip is to visit a friend of one of the other girls friends, surprise to girl but her mum knows they are coming.
They are planning to stay 4 days.
I said I'd think about it, then said no. Dd is persistenly trying to convince me she's old enough, responsible enough etc. And that I'm too strict, never let her do anything. Everyone else is allowed to do stuff. Usual stuff I think teenagers say when they've been told no.
So honest opinions please.

Soubriquet Sat 28-Jan-17 11:48:57

I'm with you

Supervised yes

Unsupervised no

Not at 16.

HeyMacWey Sat 28-Jan-17 11:49:43

I would - they're going to visit a friend not just going on a random trip.

Reality16 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:49:45

Ignoring the distance, are you seriously saying your 16yo can't catch a train, get on a bus or use a taxi?

KateDaniels2 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:49:49

So she is coming up to 17?

I think yabu.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:50:45

I think she's old enough.

bonfireheart Sat 28-Jan-17 11:51:01

How,old are the others going with her? Are they all responsible? Could you go with her up until she gets on the coach and then the friends mum meets them at the other end?

specialsubject Sat 28-Jan-17 11:52:17

Old enough but crazy way to travel. Train from Euston under four hours and with railcards and booked ahead will not be pricey.

Need to check hotel happy with their ages.

BeachyKeen Sat 28-Jan-17 11:53:50

Yes I would let her. I don't know about in the UK, but here at that age she could get her licence, join the reserves, drop out of school and start paying rent by 16.
It's a short trip, with others, where she can be in communication at any time if something happens.
Unless she is really badly behaved or super irresponsible I'd say yes

NavyandWhite Sat 28-Jan-17 11:53:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming Sat 28-Jan-17 11:54:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelenaGWells Sat 28-Jan-17 11:59:40

I would say yes but only in the following circumstances:

They are staying in the friends house and the parents are aware and happy to have them. (I would check this myself)

They look at a more sensible way to travel, surely they could get a train direct? The current journey plan sounds messy and with a few places they could come unstuck. I would prefer them having as short and easy a journey as possible to reduce the chance of travel dramas.

The group travelling are all sensible kids.

I felt that my DD would know what to do in an emergency.

Kids can legally move out at 16 and most are travelling on their own at this point to college surely?

bobbinpop Sat 28-Jan-17 12:01:29

I'd let her. Bangor is a small university town with nice walks. Very safe and tame!

ClashCityRocker Sat 28-Jan-17 12:08:29

Where will they be staying? Is the hotel happy for a group of under eighteens (I assume) to stop there? Some, possibly most, aren't. It doesn't sound like they are staying with the friend of a friends mum.

How likely is it that alcohol will be involved? Can your daughter be trusted not to go too far?

ToastOfLondon Sat 28-Jan-17 12:10:25

I'd be ok with this as long as it's ok with the girls parents. It sounds a 'safe' introduction to travelling on your own.
As long as they have phones then I can't see what can go wrong on the trip regardless of whether they travel by bus or train

SellFridges Sat 28-Jan-17 12:10:47

I'd let her. I'm a July birthday and was having weekends away with friends at her age.

daimbar Sat 28-Jan-17 12:11:09

Blimey of course they are old enough!

ToastOfLondon Sat 28-Jan-17 12:12:17

Sorry, just seen they are staying Ina hotel. If it's a hostel type of place I'd be more keen than a hotel but even so I think it would be ok.

GinIsIn Sat 28-Jan-17 12:13:03

I don't get it - you don't want a nearly 17 year old catching a bus and train, which they wouldn't be doing alone, and staying at a friend's house where there will be adults present? confused

GandolfBold Sat 28-Jan-17 12:13:22

I would allow my quite unsensible DS who is of a similar age if he was staying with friends.

ImYourMama Sat 28-Jan-17 12:13:30

She's very much old enough and it's a good thing there'll be an adult at the other end. At 16 I flew to Crete alone and stayed with friends (no adults)
It'll be a good trust exercise and she'll see you're trusting her

purplefizz26 Sat 28-Jan-17 12:14:48


She isn't only just 16, she's half way to 17.

There has to come a time when you let them off the leash and live life a bit. My parents would have had a hard time stopping me from doing a trip like that, even if they had said no.

BertrandRussell Sat 28-Jan-17 12:15:27

Which bit are you unhappy with?

nuttyknitter Sat 28-Jan-17 12:15:34

Definitely old enough. My 17 year old DS passed his driving test then drove friends to Newquay for a week. Unless there's something you're not telling us, the average 16/17 year old should be trustworthy and independent enough to go away in the UK with friends.

Robstersgirl Sat 28-Jan-17 12:17:23

I'm a July baby and moved out into my own place in the December before my 17th birthday so the same age as your DD is now. Give her the opportunity to discover the world. She isn't travelling alone and their will be people she can ask for help along the way. Also you can stay in contact constantly. Give her the chance.

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