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To think this is wrong/abnormal/too much

(183 Posts)
backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 10:13:32

7 large cans of beer and a glass of red wine, alone on Friday night.

Stitchfusion Sat 28-Jan-17 10:14:49

any alcohol on your own is too much. But thats just my mantra. Other people get on perfectly fine

Karmin Sat 28-Jan-17 10:15:03

It's binge drinking, but they may have a tolerance for it, I certainly couldn't handle it or the terrible hangover from mixing grains and grapes!

RhubarbGin Sat 28-Jan-17 10:16:00

Depends on the circumstances for the first two phrases, but add for too much yes it's probably too much alcohol in one sitting for anyone in a health basis, both immediate and long term.

QuiltedAloeVera Sat 28-Jan-17 10:16:09

Doesn't sound good. Context might make a difference.

flumpybear Sat 28-Jan-17 10:18:06

Depends on your reasons for drinking?! I drink alone, I can drink loads of wine, but I'm not sad or maudlin doing it, it relaxes me and I enjoy a cosy night watching telly, snuggled up and wine - I would worry if it was because I was drowning my sorrows on my own with alcohol

angeldelightedme Sat 28-Jan-17 10:18:45

Sadly yes

ErrolTheDragon Sat 28-Jan-17 10:20:19

Too much. You know that, don't you?

Presumably if just one glass of wine on the friday evening this is on top of other weekday/weekend drinking?

backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 10:32:49

I don't know when else he drinks. He might finish the beer/wine tonight I don't know.

He will try to gaslight me that this is normal but it really isn't is it?

He does have a tolerance yes. He will try to justify it on the grounds we are not getting on at the moment. But it still turned him into an aggressive angry git.

Backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 10:33:40

So if he is happy doing it and it's from enjoyment it's not so bad then? I don't want to overreact.

backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 10:34:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YetAnotherSpartacus Sat 28-Jan-17 10:51:23

That does seen like an awful lot of alcohol if consumed at those levels regularly.

However, I'm frankly tired of the 'drinking alone' stigma.

Some people live alone FFS and quite enjoy a tipple or two! And why shouldn't they? Drinking as part of a cosy couple or crowd does not negate the alcohol.

pocketsaviour Sat 28-Jan-17 10:51:24

7 pints and a glass of wine is a lot. If I tried to drink 7 pints I'd be pissing every 15 minutes, let alone anything else!

If he says it's "normal" - well, we have a binge drinking culture, so to some people that would seem a normal amount for a Friday night. For other people, it would be far in excess of normal. Does he associate a lot with other drinkers? When that happens you tend to enable each other and normalize a high intake. "Oh all the guys drink like this so it must be normal."

Figure17a Sat 28-Jan-17 11:02:30

I've been known to drink 7 pints on a football away outing blush but that would be spread over the day and into the evening. Might move onto shorts later. And, I do suffer next day. I do it maybe twice a year though, in a very sociable group, which probably doesn't make it "Ok" but it's a lot different to doing it regularly and alone.

I'm a happy drunk, it doesn't make be nasty to anyone (although I'm prepared to accept annoying). I don't ever drink alone because I'm worried it's a slippery slope, but I wouldn't judge anyone who's having a glass with their solo dinner etc. Drinking to excess on your own and anytime in a way that makes you nasty is always too much.

backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 11:10:48

This is normal when he is with his family or out - but I don't think his family members would drink that alone.

My dad would, but my dad is an alcoholic.

I just don't know how to deal with this. It's the same old unhappy fight all over again. Plus we can't afford £20 worth of booze for him each weekend.

Bluntness100 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:18:40

For many this is normal, and many people tie one on every now and again, my husband drank too much last night, don't know how much, as I went to bed and left him to it, but he launched himself over me at two in the morning , when he woke up thirsty, to get the water and fell on top of my legs. Twat and he was told so in no uncertain terms.

However he doesn't do it often, we can afford it and I actually don't give a shit. I've been known to do it myself. Winding him up this morning about his hangover when he had to get up early for golf was joy enough. That and reminding him we were going out tonight.

If there is financial issues or he is nasty then you need to talk about it, but talk, not argue as it may be his way of relaxing,

backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 11:28:47

If this is perceived as a normal acceptable way to relax then I am overreacting and shouldn't say anything. I have enough problems with him without adding this into the mix.

Just needed to gauge as clearly my radar is all off.

Figure17a Sat 28-Jan-17 11:30:43

It's not working as a way to relax if it's making him nasty though.

KateDaniels2 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:30:53

Is this every week?

And you cant afford it?

Then no its not normal. Its a lot for a one off. Every week its loads.

DameFanny Sat 28-Jan-17 11:33:54

The drinking is his problem, living with an aggressive gaslighting git is yours. Do you have children? Are your finances mixed? Can you get out easily, or is more planning required?

backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 11:38:38

Yes kids yes marriage yes house yes it's all mixed and a complete mess. In theory he has his own money for this stuff (we each take a small amount of 'pocket money') but he is completely overdrawn so uses the joint account. Which is for bills and groceries etc.

He is nasty without drink as well. Just cares less when he has had a couple. He would say that I am what makes him nasty.

It probably is 2/3 nights a week every week yes but maybe not in those amounts.

It is certainly not a one off.

Flowerfae Sat 28-Jan-17 11:42:34

Is it a regular thing? if its just once in a while, I don't think its really a problem. My stepdad has a major problem with alcohol and will drink on his lunch break from work, stop at the pub on the way back have more.. then get back to my mums and go out again and have more. I don't know exactly how much he drinks but its at least 1 bottle of red wine which he has during the evening and I don't know how many pints of beer throughout the day.

backdatednamechange Sat 28-Jan-17 11:44:27

He would say his drinking is fine because he doesn't do it every day and doesn't wake up wanting a drink.

Maybe my perspective is skewed because of how he is when drinking and my dad.

Marcipex Sat 28-Jan-17 11:44:29

It's too much, but you know that already.

You say he is nasty with or without the alcohol, so, what are you going to do? You need an exit plan.

DameFanny Sat 28-Jan-17 11:48:10

It's domestic abuse. I'm sorry. He's got no reason to change. But you can. You can start making plans to get yourself and the kids away from it. What do you need?

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