Before I start, I don't have a pre-set outcome, I just want some advice.
DB is 11 years younger, getting married in 8 weeks. Received the invite recently and when it was marked 'Itsallabit' and DH, I honestly didn't think about it and just assumed the kids would be coming (my mistake but he's my brother, we weren't specific when we invited my siblings, I just thought it was a given my DN would come with them).
Then 2 nights ago, DS2 who lives at home tells me he's been invited to a FB group inviting him to the evening do.
The DC have in the past been a real handful, and I do mean handful with trips to court, lots of official intervention and a ton of domestic abuse aimed at us. At the beginning of last year, DS1 moved out when it got too bad for him to stay and has refused to work, there's been a few low level justice issues and it's very hard to know what is the truth at any given time. DS2 turned around in Jan '16 and has become as perfect a teenager as its possible to be - interacting with family, lovely to be around, given up drugs etc.
DB says he doesn't want DS1 there as he's 'the wrong side of the tracks' and as someone who works in the legal sector he doesn't want his work colleagues making the connection and didn't invite DS2 to not make DS1 feel uncomfortable.
I'm hurt that a) he didn't have the decency to talk to me in advance - finding out via FB (no comment on sending invites by FB in the first place)
b) I feel that he's not offending DS1 who everyone has a very difficult relationship including myself and DH but choosing to offend myself and DS2
c) the message DS2 gets is that no matter what he does and he has turned his life round, that he is forever associated with bad behaviour
We've just had a fairly intense row, he brought it up in front of DS2 and despite multiple requests not to talk about it now but wait till later just ploughed on so I ended up losing my temper and poor DS2 was stuck feeling mighty uncomfortable.
Aibu and advice on where to go now much appreciated
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Brothers wedding - DC not invited to day
74 replies
Itsallabitcrazyhere · 28/01/2017 10:12
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