How early can you play the trumpet?

[Rosamund1]

Writing on behalf of a friend who 'can't be arsed to sign up.'

Friend lives on end terrace. The neighbor next door is a grumpy old bat. E.g. Friend sent her a Christmas card and got no reply (lights on and off at the house, someone is in). The walls are very thin and neighbour used to bangs on the wall if the kids ran up the stairs. Friend texted and said come and lets discuss soundproofing and perhaps sharing costs. Neighbour did not reply and has not heard from her since.

Before that, one afternoon friend had a 'play date' and six rowdy children were playing pirates in the evening/afternoon after school 4-7 ish. Neighbour said she's off work with a bad back, keep the noise down. Friend texted 'sorry to hear that, let me know if you need help with shopping or anything?' Again no reply.

Now the problem is trumpet. Friends ds has been offered free trumpet lessons at school. The problem is getting him to practice. After school it's always 'I'm too tired' and it's hard to set a routine with scouts, swimming, football etc. They leave the house for school at 8.15 and friend thought 8am would be a good time to do 5mins daily but is worried about neighbour.

My opinion is that living in a terrace (as we do), you need to be prepared for noise apart from 9pm -7am. Neighbour can just deal with it.

AIBU

[GinIsIn]

YABU for describing someone you don't even know as a grumpy old bat for not sending Christmas cards or wanting the noise of 6 marauding children when they are ill!

If your friend is aware the property has thin walls, I would say that yes 8am is too early, especially if he just started and is a terrible player. If it's only 5 mins practice can he really be so tired he can't do 5 mins after school?

[QueenofLouisiana]

8am trumpet practise- not great. I'd be out of the house by then, but many people are still eating breakfast etc.

If the DC are scout age, after school practise is perfectly do-able. "Too tired" for music practise is also too tired for swimming/ scouts/ gaming!

[Hassled]

8am is way too early for trumpet practice. And if there are already noise issues it's effectively saying "I don't give a shit about your wish for a quiet life", isn't it? After school is better.

[Strongmummy]

I'd suggest you confirm with the council from what time builders are allowed to start work and make noise (I think it's 8am actually) and then go round to the neighbour and let her know he'll be practising from 8am to 8:10am during the week as a courteousy. I live in a terraced house and sing opera so I'm very aware of my neighbours, but if I ever did get a complaint I'd feel comfortable telling them to shove it on the basis I'm practising within the correct times and I've warned them when!!!!! I hope he gets on well with the trumpet

[Strongmummy]

I do agree with others however that after school would be better.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

I'm usually awake about 5:30 & I still think 8am is an anti social time for 'avoidable noise'.

Kids running upstairs, playing, life in general...fine. Trumpet, not.

5 mins daily is not enough. He needs to do what his teacher has asked him to do, when he gets home from school/other activities. If he can't be arsed to do that, then he needs to stop with the lessons.

[LexieLulu]

I think
It's really unfair for her to even consider it! Trumpets aren't quiet!!! Suggest for her son to get guitar lessons instead which doesn't need to be so loud

[Getnakedorgohome]

I live in a terrace and would be pretty fed up if the neighbours were playing the trumpet that early! Yes, I'm awake but it's nice to have peace. Similarly, I (and my neighbours) avoid hoovering and lawn mowers/electric saw/hammering etc before 9am.

If he honestly cant practise 5 minutes after school then he'd be better giving up and waiting until he's better motivated. Realistically he needs to be doing 15/20 minute minimum practise to warm up/scales/practising his pieces etc.

[peggyundercrackers]

8am for trumpet practice? Erm no... you would get the trumpet shoved up your arse if you were my neighbour.

[insancerre]

Totally unreasonable
If he is too tired after school then he shouldn't be considering another extra curricular activity

[MissWimpyDimple]

I live in a flat and if someone was playing the trumpet (badly!) at 8am I would think it was vvvvvvvvv unreasonable.

Seriously? I'm surprised you have to ask this!

[karigan]

I think it's too early.

Strongmummy Do you live in Lancashire? I moved from a terrace row in the summer and there was a woman who sang opera a few times a week on our old street. I used to sit in the garden and listen; if it is you then you're very good! :)

[GardeningWithDynamite]

It's not perfect, but there is a silent brass system (with headphones) that can reduce the noise from a trumpet. If you're playing in a terraced house it would probably be a lot more considerate to use something like that (or just an ordinary mute, which would be a lot cheaper!). It's not ideal for a beginner to use all the time because it changes the way the trumpet blows, but if you want to do regular practice it would be better than nothing.

[Redglitter]

His parents need to be firm and not accept the 'too tired' excuse. Tell him if he's too tired he needs to cut back on other things. When there's already issues with noise this is going to be like a red rag to a bull. I wouldn't be happy if my neighbour started playing a trumpet at that time.

[pasturesgreen]

Practising any musical instrument at 8am is antisocial, and the trumpet particularly so as it's loud.

If he's 'too tired' to play in the afternoon, than maybe musical practice is not really for him?

[hefzi]

I am mid-terrace and play the trumpet. I wouldn't personally play before 9 or after 7, any more than I'd use the hoover outside these times. Practice can be tricky, as I leave for work before 7 and get back around 9 most days- but that's what the weekend and annual leave is for. I'm not a beginner, so don't need to practice daily in the same way- but I agree with others on this. If he's too tired for 10 minutes after school then he would do better not taking up a free lesson and leave it for someone willing to make the effort.

[Fleurdelise]

DD's only time to practice her instruments is 7,30 till 9 pm. We start with clarinet as it tends to squeak and make funny noises and she also just began a few months ago so she's not as good, followed by piano which she's much better at.

We live in a semi with thin walls and I have asked the neighbours since they moved in if the piano practice is a nuisance more so as they have a baby. When clarinet was added I asked again. They are ok with it as their eldest just started piano also.

I think as long as you discuss it before it will all turn just fine. Why isn't your friend popping around and ask the neighbour when would the best time be? She needs to use her negotiations skills

[ChippingInLovesWoollyHugs]

hefzi. Have you ever spoken to your neighbours about it? It wouldn't bother me if you played up until 10pm.

[Rosamund1]

Thanks for the replies. To the poster above who said it is not fair to call the neighbour 'a grumpy old bat' - there are more incidents that led to that opinion. Also, if I told someone I was ill, and they replied with an offer to help with shopping, I would never dream of just not replying. Even a simple 'thanks for the offer' text. Ignoring is just rude. A neighbour sends a Christmas card, a simple 'thanks for the card'. Ignoring is just rude. Complaining about children playing in the afternoon when you live in a terrace- unreasonable. Friend is very soft spoken and they are a quiet family and are still friends with previous neighbours so I'm quite sure she is not the difficult one.

I suppose it practice after school then.

[emmyrose2000]

YABVU
Playing a musical instrument when you live in a terraced house/flat or within very close proximity to neighbours is seriously inconsiderate, at best, and just downright rude in most cases. The neighbour would be perfectly reasonable to complain about that.

And since when did not sending a Christmas card make someone a grumpy old bat? In that case, half the world could be labelled grumpy. There's nothing that says all Christmas cards must be reciprocated. Your "friend" sounds like the bad neighbour, not the old lady.

My opinion is that living in a terrace (as we do), you need to be prepared for noise apart from 9pm -7am. Neighbour can just deal with it.

My opinion is that living in a terrace means you need to show consideration for other tenants and not subject them to unwarranted noise.

[QueenMortificado]

Are you meant to send replies for Christmas cards?!

[BurnTheBlackSuit]

Playing a musical instrument when you live in a terraced house/flat or within very close proximity to neighbours is seriously inconsiderate, at best, and just downright rude in most cases. The neighbour would be perfectly reasonable to complain about that.

So only those who live in nice big detached houses should be allowed to learn an instrument?!

[NeepNeepNeep]

Yes Queen. You then reply with a "thank you for the thank you card" card and so on. The whole cycle begins again the following Christmas. It's just good manners.

[M0stlyHet]

Is this a good moment for ? "I polished it up and I started to play it inspite of the neighbours who begged me to stop..."