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To wonder what "Mumsnet the musical" would look like

(114 Posts)
westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:27:25

I'm sat here daydreaming and wondering what a musical based on Mumsnet would look like....

I'm envisaging various songs based on threads such as...

A wedding invitation with poem (no children invited either)
Brian from Hull
Lunch box content arguments with an actual bun fight
Penis cleaning tips (Penis Beaker)

A bad guy named Jeffery who likes to hack Mumsnet

Any other song suggestions? Who should star in it?

nottakenpersonally Fri 27-Jan-17 21:28:21

Justine should star in it! Definitely!

Salmotrutta Fri 27-Jan-17 21:29:38

There should be a song about controlled crying.

And goats with plasma TVs.

And a scene with a parent and teacher.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Fri 27-Jan-17 21:30:00

Can I be in it?

I do great Jazz Hands.

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:30:09

I think the wedding invite song should have a wishing well in the background that they shove the bride and groom in to

Fink Fri 27-Jan-17 21:30:27

There would have to be a dance with loo brushes as accessories ... like Morris dancing with loo brushes instead of sticks.

And some sort of song about the rights and wrongs of removing body hair/what you call genitalia.

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:30:28

Yes you can definitely be in it!

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Fri 27-Jan-17 21:31:27

Main character will be cooking up entire meals from the shit available in Aldi whilst a Waitrose shopper screams like a banshee in the background.

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:31:30

Love the loo brush suggestion! Perhaps a giant roast chicken too?

Soubriquet Fri 27-Jan-17 21:31:54

There would be a crazy baby name song with Balonz and Slithery featured

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Fri 27-Jan-17 21:32:28

Fink I think the loo brushes should come to life. Likje the scary brooms in Fantasia.

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:32:33

I'm wondering who should play Brian from Hull, I envisage him to be a hippy in his 60s with a long white beard.

carrotcakecupcake Fri 27-Jan-17 21:33:14

Definitely needs a big dance sequence related to parking, complete with penguin costumes.

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:33:31

It could be a solo... I'm Brian from Hull only the Yoni

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:33:48

Oh yes the Penguins!

Jesterstolehisthornycrown1 Fri 27-Jan-17 21:36:08

The main character would have to wear the mumsnet scarf!

Jesterstolehisthornycrown1 Fri 27-Jan-17 21:37:51

And there would have to be a Korean lady on stage too.

HelenaGWells Fri 27-Jan-17 21:40:01

The elderly Korean lady just has to sit at the back and observe the entire thing.

There has to be a song about bonkers school rules featuring pat members with lemon drizzle cakes. The chorus involves chanting why did you send your kids to this school if you don't like this one petty rule.(see I even wrote a rhyming bit, genius)

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:41:12

AIBU could have a song all about the thread

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:41:41

All I can think of is dancing toilet brushes now

SloanyAnne Fri 27-Jan-17 21:44:17

Interval trolley needs Fruit Shoots, Greggs sausage rolls and Godiva chocolates.
For breadth.

NoTractorsAtTheTable Fri 27-Jan-17 21:44:30

"Behold the cutted up pear" would be a faintly Lion King-esque number - held aloft on a ceremonial bobble plate, with other stunt pineapples and other decorative fruit lovingly cradled by the chorus.

Hilarity ensues when a rogue Pom-bear is found cavorting in their midst wink

Jesterstolehisthornycrown1 Fri 27-Jan-17 21:45:13

One of your songs should be called "did you mean to be so rude"
I think I'll co write with you.

westcoastnortherneragain Fri 27-Jan-17 21:46:38

Did you mean to be so rude would make an excellent song

OutnumberedbyFurchesters Fri 27-Jan-17 21:47:13

All the background scenery would painted to look like fanny condensation..

And someone would park in someones drive sit in someone elses seat

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