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To be upset at sister and mother?

(126 Posts)
DebussyHead Fri 27-Jan-17 20:47:37

I'm abroad on long weekend with DH for a special occasion. Asked DM to have kids whilst we were away which she agreed to do as long as my sister helped out. Kids are 6 and 4. We left Wednesday night back Sunday. Kids have in school thurs and fri.
Find out that DSis invited a new man she met on tinder to dinner at my house on thurs night. They met 14 days ago and she really likes him. She never mentioned that he was coming or would be meeting my kids.
Just found out he stayed overnight too with my kids and mum in the house. DH is furious. He has told DM over Skype and there has been a big fall out. DM and DSis think they have done nothing wrong and we are overreacting. I don't know this man from Adam. AIBU?

DeathStare Fri 27-Jan-17 20:49:59

No you aren't being unreasonable. She has no clue who this man is and she brought him into your house with your children in it.

If she had to see him so badly she should have gone to his place

Mum2jenny Fri 27-Jan-17 20:55:51

YANBU at all, totally inappropriate behaviour by your dsis.

FinnegansCake Fri 27-Jan-17 20:56:16


Doesn't your DSis have a home of her own? Or couldn't she have gone to his? I think what she did is very inappropriate.

Mulberry72 Fri 27-Jan-17 20:56:29


Absolutely that!

SparkleShinyGlitter Fri 27-Jan-17 20:59:35

I think it's a bit soon I mean 14 days before she introduced him to her niece/nephew I wouldn't of been impressed either. She doesn't even know him yet herself

Does your sis not have a home? Somewhere else she could of taken him?

KarmaNoMore Fri 27-Jan-17 20:59:38


Are you back at home now? If not, what are you waiting for? You can't rely on this pair of blooming idiots to take good decisions when your children are under their care.

YANBU but you will be, and very much, if you ever leave them with them overnight.

DebussyHead Fri 27-Jan-17 21:00:30

She is 30 and lives with my parents. He is in navy and stays in shared barracks. Apparently his windscreen was frosted up so my mum said he should just stay over. The guy detonates mortars for a living but can't handle a frozen windscreen. DSis texting me and DH saying how dare we upset DM and as if she would endanger my kids. She doesn't get it. She's ruined our night.

TheTroutofNoCraic Fri 27-Jan-17 21:03:25

What the actual fuck?!!? I would be horrified! What kind of planet do you need to be living on if you think that is a wise move?
You are most certainly not BU!!

DebussyHead Fri 27-Jan-17 21:04:09

And I'm stuck in Dubai or I'd be straight over there. DSis and the new man have left now and are in an Airbnb for weekend. She had cheek to say even my 6 year old DD 'really liked him and asked when will I see him again'

TheTroutofNoCraic Fri 27-Jan-17 21:06:20

Utterly reckless and irresponsible behaviour.
Surely they could have done the Airbnb thing in the first instance if they couldn't keep their pants on for one weekend.

Mum2jenny Fri 27-Jan-17 21:06:53

I'd say the answer is 'never', sorry for your issues flowers

MustBeLoopy390 Fri 27-Jan-17 21:06:53

YANBU, I'd be livid and organising a more responsible adult to take over if I couldn't get back right away. They certainly wouldn't be trusted again.

llangennith Fri 27-Jan-17 21:08:09

I'd be furious!

MustBeLoopy390 Fri 27-Jan-17 21:09:09

Also DSis and man now going to an airbnb makes it seem like it was planned, rather than a 'frosted windshield issue'

DebussyHead Fri 27-Jan-17 21:10:01

Thanks all. My Dad is in charge now he's v responsible. DM and DSis have form for being victims and never in the wrong. I also got told I should be grateful they are doing me a favour. I'm gobsmscked and have told DSis I will not ask for her help again.
She does adore my kids but her lack of judgement has astounded me.

KarmaNoMore Fri 27-Jan-17 21:10:49

Yep, get someone else to take over. Considering it was your mother who suggested it, I really think you need to find someone that you can really trust.

I find it also a bit interesting that you are complaining they ruined your night... hmm

DebussyHead Fri 27-Jan-17 21:11:15

Yes I think it was planned too and the windscreen being frosted is total BS

Stormwhale Fri 27-Jan-17 21:11:22

My God I would be beyond furious. They would never be trusted with my children again.

KarmaNoMore Fri 27-Jan-17 21:11:37

Crossposted, great to hear a responsible adult is with them now. Bloody hell.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Fri 27-Jan-17 21:12:30

That's just wholly inappropriate! I'd be furious.

angry YANBU.

Greenfingeredfun Fri 27-Jan-17 21:12:46

But if you had a brother whose new girlfriend stayed over...? Would that be okay?

Stormwhale Fri 27-Jan-17 21:12:49

Surely if your dad was there he could have put a stop to it? If so he is as bad as them.

Danglybits Fri 27-Jan-17 21:14:20

Awful. YADNBU.

mummymummums Fri 27-Jan-17 21:15:56

Blimey - talk about ruining your trip away. Quite astonishing.
You should show them this thread so that they MIGHT understand how very irresponsible they've been. Unfortunately sounds like they'll always see themselves in the right

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