to be disgruntled?(12 Posts)
Aibu to be disgruntled,
I’ve been renting a room at market rate from distant family for about six months. There are three kids and two adults plus me in the apartment. It’s been going fine although they’re quite strict e.g. no occasional overnight guests at all, I’m not allowed to leave anything in the sink or on the worktop & they don’t like to see stuff drying on the rack (bear in mind they have their own kitchen in another part of the apartment), they use my loo but don’t contribute to loo roll, and I’m not allowed to fry anything because they don’t like the smell and "don’t want the walls to get greasy" just quite controlling. They also have absolutely explosive arguments with the kids which are quite worrying to hear sometimes. I think they overcharge me for what I get, but I’m leaving in July so it’s ok for now. They’re very well off, and known in the family for being money-grabbing which I didn’t want to believe at first.
Shortly after I arrived I noticed that some change and two meal vouchers had disappeared from my room. I spoke to the kids’ grandmother about it and nothing really came of it. I didn’t want to rock the boat. In a normal month those vouchers are my entire (modest) food budget.
After I came back from my Xmas holiday, I got my meal vouchers for the month from work and left them on my desk in an opened envelope as I didn’t need them right away. That week I didn’t sleep there much as I was staying with a friend. I’d go in every day to feed and hold my pet but basically the room was empty most of the time, and every time I came home one of the kids (11 y.o.) was watching TV outside my room in the dark. He then saw me leave the apartment and not come back. There weren’t many people in the apartment that week apart from the cleaning lady, parents and the kids.
I noticed 7 vouchers missing from the envelope next time I checked it after the weekend. I’m positive I didn’t spend them for several reasons. I asked the kids’ mother to ask the kids/CL if they knew anything. To her credit she took it seriously but obviously no one’s come forward. So that’s 56€ I won’t see again The kids’ grandmother then told me that ‘in future I should keep my belongings in a safer place because this is very annoying for everyone’. That got my back up since the envelope was in the room I pay for, I’m not the one responsible so don’t tell me I’m the one annoying people, plus I think this situation might be slightly more annoying for me somehow! I also asked for the key to my room – apparently there isn’t one. AIBU to feel distinctly disgruntled? I stayed calm with the mum & said that I guess we should just draw a line under the incident(s), but for goodness sake! What would you do in the mum’s situation?
Hmm. These meal vouchers, are they widely redeemable?
Obviously no-one should be going in your room and taking your stuff, but I'm afraid I wouldn't have taken the room without being able to lock it, and knowing there wasn't a lock, I'd keep valuables on me or buy a small lockable box to keep them in
If you're paying market rate already, I'd be looking to move out ASAP than staying there another six months.
This sounds like a nightmare on various levels. Can you find somewhere else to live?
I would keep your vouchers / money with you in the meantime.
You're right to be disgruntled. Simple solution is get a lock for your door, or a lockable safe in your room.
Then just keep everything important locked up until July and you can get out of there!
Thank you for the replies!
On my way home atm - to quickly answer, the vouchers can be used in all food outlets and supermarkets. Most working adults in France get them. Their value is also clearly printed on the front.
I imagine a scenario kind of like this: the kid went to say hello to my pet (have let them hold him before), then got nosy at what's on my desk, saw tickets marked '8€' and took them, then later panicked and binned the evidence at school or somewhere. I wouldn't hold a grudge and it's not unusual for kids to steal esp. as I doubt these get any pocket money and they go to a school where their friends probably get a lot.
Would be worried about being seen as a drama queen if I moved out - would I be?
I would have bought a locked box after the first incident personally.
Do you have to stay until July?
I'm afraid you're going to have to be responsible and hide your vouchers, even though you shouldn't have to.
And just keep your loo roll in your room and use their loo. Play them at their own game.
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