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to have never been in love with any men...ever! And to do nothing about it

(6 Posts)
user1485442361 Fri 27-Jan-17 13:37:19

I can find men hot. Really sexually attractive. But after a few dates I either decide I just don't like them in any way so stop contact or I really like them but the attraction goes and we just end up as friends. I can find the thought of having sex with a hot man appealing, but don't like kissing any of them.

The only time I've ever had any genuine feelings was with guys I met through work as I was with them 5 days a week but I kind of feel that that was because we were forced together and if I'd met them on a night out and went on a date I wouldn't be interested.

I stayed with my ex for two years. I never once fancied him and it was a terrible thing to do to him. I just never had any sexual attraction to him but he seemed a good guy so I stayed.

I have met many men in my life. I am 27. I've lived with men, had male friends, male work colleagues and while I sometimes get a slight infatuation for men I spend a lot of time with, it always goes once I've stopped living/working with them and I realise the attraction was only very shallow and based on physical attraction. It's almost a friend infatuation where I love spending time with them and get excited to see them.

I have been on hundreds of first dates and never once had any chemistry with anyone.

My friends have always said it's normal, I just haven't met the right guy. But I'm not sure this is normal and infact I should have been in love by now.

My friends say I probably have really liked someone but just haven't recognised it. But I'm sure I haven't. I've just accepted I'm probably not going to fall in love and accepted I never get feelings.

I'm not asexual, I have superficial sexual attraction to men. I just don't fall in love with them.

AIBU to just say I have never been in love with a man, probably never will and I am happy to be this way and wait to see if the right man comes around?

NuffSaidSam Fri 27-Jan-17 14:00:54

Are you able to feel love for other people? Do you love your parents/siblings/friends/pets? Do you have feelings generally?

MumBod Fri 27-Jan-17 14:03:38

To be fair, a lot of men are a bit crap once the horn wears off.

Maybe you just have a well-tuned twat radar?

user1485442361 Fri 27-Jan-17 14:05:22

Yes I love friends and family and my Son. Even really nice guys, just don't have any interest in them.

I had an old work colleague that was simply stunning. Tall, muscular, blue eyes but even if he had asked me on a date I bet I'd have lost interest pretty quickly.

I've always been like this.

fallenempires Fri 27-Jan-17 14:07:02

I agree with your friends.It didn't happen to me until I was in my 30's,you will know when it's the real deal!smile

ArcheryAnnie Fri 27-Jan-17 14:14:52

What you feel is perfectly normal for a subset of people! Some people just aren't into romantic love, and never will be. They can find people attractive, they can be close to people, and still not get that zing! of sexual attraction and emotional closeness coming together. And it could be a case of not yet finding the right person, but it's also just as likely to be a case of you not being built that way. And if that suits you, that's fine!

There's so much pressure on people to pair up, but it's not compulsory, nor should it be.

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