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Weird encounter with man or am I over thinking

(358 Posts)
Daaaaaaan Fri 27-Jan-17 12:58:25

This might be long, will try to put all relevant information in so to avoid the dreaded drip feeding...

One or two weeks before Christmas I was in the supermarket as usual on a Wednesday lunchtime straight after school finished with my son. Exited the supermarket to hear an English voice say "oh hi, how are you" in a friendly tone of voice (am expat and while many people here speak English I speak to most of my friends in the local language). I said "oh hello" while thinking "uhmm I don't really think I know you". However he continued saying he knew me from somewhere, had we met before, probably at local pub. I said no I don't drink there.

He told me his Street address then asked why I was shopping in supermarket A when supermarket B was closer to my house (didn't think about this comment until later as tbh I was really just trying to get home to make lunch, I absolutely did not tell him where I lived). He also said he saw me most days last summer and I was always on my own (?! confused )Looked like I was always off to the beach, did I not work?

Boxing day, receive message in my other folder from this guy saying I popped up on his people you may know list. We have no mutual friends, are not in any of the same Facebook groups and I never "check in" anywhere. So was a bit sceptical. Anyway in the message wishes me merry Christmas, asks me out, gives me his address, phone number and email. I didn't accept the message request and did not reply. So although I have read it he won't know as I've not accepted it ifkwim.

So, Wednesday in supermarket A as usual, and he is there. He tries to make chat but, it's lunchtime and I have a hungry son to feed! Don't give it much thought, it's a local supermarket after all, we live in the same district. Thursday I get on my usual tram to take my son to school and he is on it. Not too weird, but the stop for where he told me he lives is about 3 stops before the one I get on. The next and final stop, it doesn't really go anywhere except the tram depot, my sons school and the long road to the next town.

He starts walking with us asking about Christmas, asks my son about his gifts etc. I'm feeling a bit uneasy and rush my son along while, saying something like "oh well have a nice day etc" he then asks me if I have time for a coffee, rather taken aback I blurted out "sorry no I'm on my way to a job interview" and rushed off.

So, finally (if anyone has got this far) is, aibu to think this all really odd. Mainly the supermarket conversation/knowing where I live/movements/tram thing? The balcony thing, as I say, is most likely unconnected but possibly why I'm feeling more freaked out than should be necessary.

FizzBombBathTime Fri 27-Jan-17 13:02:13

I would feel wierd about this

No advice but wtf?!

EduCated Fri 27-Jan-17 13:06:36

I would feel extremely weird. Do you live somewhere where the police would be approachable and you could talk to them about your concerns?

thatshowasuperherolearnstofly Fri 27-Jan-17 13:07:02

Not overthinking at all, that sounds really scary.

Can you get advice from police, do they have something similar to PCSOs where you are?

DearMrDilkington Fri 27-Jan-17 13:09:50

If you see him again and he tries to make conversation say sorry I'm not interested and your making me feel uncomfortable.

Can you put a cctv on your balcony so you can see where the footprints have came from? Make sure you lock all your doors and windows properly too.

Scarydinosaurs Fri 27-Jan-17 13:10:09

Do you live on your own?

It sounds very strange.

Daaaaaaan Fri 27-Jan-17 13:10:23

I spoke to the police about the footprints thing and they made a note about it, said to let them know if anything else happened with the flat. The other thing, I'm not sure. They might just think "so some guy messaged you and asked you out" not sure they would think it's worth mentioning. I'm weirder out though. Didn't take the tram this morning and walked a really long, other route to school (son most unimpressed....)

Daaaaaaan Fri 27-Jan-17 13:11:03

Yes on own with son

HumpHumpWhale Fri 27-Jan-17 13:11:53

A man's belt and indentations on the cushions - like someone had been sitting there, trousers open kind of thing? This almost sounds made up. I would 100% be freaked out. I don't have any actual advice. The guy might just fancy you. But combined with the other stuff, he sounds like a crazy stalker tbh.

BobbiPins Fri 27-Jan-17 13:12:03

You should notify police that you suspect you have a stalker

Pinotwoman82 Fri 27-Jan-17 13:12:03

I have no advice but I would feel really freaked out by that x

Daaaaaaan Fri 27-Jan-17 13:14:08

I know the belt thing sounds crazy! My friends said it probably fell from the balcony above (hopefull) and the indentation was my old cushions not reforming their shape very well

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 27-Jan-17 13:14:16

Sounds quite unsettling.

I'd be going back to the police.

user1477282676 Fri 27-Jan-17 13:14:47

shock Tell the police everything you've told us!

DearMrDilkington Fri 27-Jan-17 13:14:49

As ridiculous as this sounds I might even buy some men's boots to leave on your balcony. It might scare off any unwanted visitors. Get some second hand ones from a charity shop and muddy them up.

Bluntness100 Fri 27-Jan-17 13:15:40

That's a bit weird and yes it would play on my mind too. You might have a stalker or it could be unrelated and you're putting two and two together and making five. Hard to tell.

HarryPottersMagicWand Fri 27-Jan-17 13:16:39

I'd say you are not overreacting and the 2 things are not unconected. Sounds like he is stalking you and hes6being pretty brazen as he has basically told you he knows where you live, which cannot be possible unless he was following you.

I'd be very very worried and I'd be informing the police, over all of it.

DearMrDilkington Fri 27-Jan-17 13:16:43

Oh and ask your neighbours if they have seen a man near your flat with the description of the supermarket man. If they say yes then I'd ring the police and say you suspect this man is stalking you.

Daaaaaaan Fri 27-Jan-17 13:18:51

Tbh I wouldn't have put the belt/footprints together if it hadn't been for the other things and I'm not sure they are related. Probably not but adds to my overall feeling weird about the conversation/tram thing and now just general.paranoia

SleepFreeZone Fri 27-Jan-17 13:25:40

It's odd and I would be unsettled. If it were me I would trying to get a male friend to act as boyfriend or start to gather evidence through a diary, keep the belt etc and then approach the police.

wishparry Fri 27-Jan-17 13:26:04

He sounds like a proper stalker.it must be quite scary for you.
I'd start by making a log of every time he bumps into you or messages you,so if you go back to the police they can see the extent of it.
also I think dearmrdilkington has a good idea about leaving man's boots outside to make it look like you have a man there.it may make him back off a bit.
a security camera or light would be good too.
hope he backs off and leaves you alone flowers

SapphireStrange Fri 27-Jan-17 13:30:48

The belt I'd put down to it falling from above.

It is a bit odd that he seems to know where you live and what your daily activities/routes are though. I don't know what country you're in or the attitude of the police there, but it might be worth logging.

GlitteryFluff Fri 27-Jan-17 13:32:05

I'd be concerned too.
I think cctv camera set up covering balcony is a good start.
I'd definitely ask police for advice too.
And speak to neighbours. At least they can be on the look out too.

GizmoFrisby Fri 27-Jan-17 13:32:29

I'd feel weird about it. I think I would change my shopping habits and avoid him. If he still turns up that is a police situation as I think he might be stalking you 💐

LittleLionMansMummy Fri 27-Jan-17 13:37:15

Yadnbu. I actually felt the hairs on my arms stand on end reading that op. Not wishing to scare you but it does sound very weird and I'd be having a word with the police.

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