I've had a simpering, aggravating email from Ex's wife. Apparently he's devastated and heartbroken that our two girls aren't going to his birthday party.
Her final line is that she just can't understand why they'd chose a wedding on my DH's side ("someone who is not even a relation to them") over his party.
It's thoroughly fucking tempting to point out that DH's side, the non relatives, have included the girls in their lives. They haven't not-yet delivered their Christmas presents because they've been 'busy'. They've not dropped and picked up the girls whenever it fucking suited them.
And she's no better. Apparently he's 'saddened' at how little he sees them and she's 'terribly sad' that their half siblings barely know them. Well given that she refused to learn how to use DD2's epi-pen and also refused to allow DD2 in their house without an adult who knew how to use it that meant that the girls can/could only visit when ex had the entire weekend off. Sometimes he had to do a guard duty for 6 hours or whatever which meant the entire contact had to be cancelled. To put into context DD2 has used her epi-pen twice in 6 years... So not like she was being asked to do extensive medical care, just to know how it worked (the twice it's been used it was DD1 who did it).
There's also the fact that when ex-MIL was in hospital the girls were uninvited to their Ds's christening because they couldn't possibly ask her family to keep an eye on the girls (who were 12!) in the chapel and they'd be up at the font. So that was another whole weekend cancelled.
Who invites their own 13yos to their birthday party by an invitation in the post anyway? I mean really? This party is in 3 weeks and this is the first they've heard of it. They weren't invited to her 40th or their half-brother's 1st birthday party in early January.
I won't say anything because DD1 has an awards thing next week and ex has promised he'll be there and will bring their Christmas presents (he insisted on buying the one thing they really, really wanted). I'm not risking him blaming me for the no show. Although I'm half thinking he might cancel for being "too upset" or some such bollocks.
It thoroughly tempting though.
AIBU?
AIBU to wish I could tell her what I think
lalalalyra · 27/01/2017 09:10
Yanbu, don't get drawn into her games. Wow they are unbelievable. How does their own father treat them like random relatives rather than his own children. Should he be glad that his parents are taking such an interest in their children.
And why didn't they have your D.C.'s over for their siblings first birthday? That's shocking. Also shocking is that he is yet to give them their christmas presents, over a month later 
Just ignore her, and him for that matter. They can't expect you to jump at their requests. Besides you sound lovely for your ex pil to still have a good relationship with you.
meant to say i wouldn't respond to her email, be the bigger person, she can bitch all over fb and probably will but does it matter in the long term, people who do that generally get sympathy for a while then everyone gets bored when the drama passes and she is being a bit of a dramatist. why isn't ex doing the asking isn't he man enough to stand up to you, you scary person ?
They may have a loser for a father but what a wonderful family they've got with their aunt and your DH! I'd be cherishing this relationship with them as it sounds a lot healthier than with their dad.
We hit the jackpot with the in-laws and the other inlaws. MIL and OMIL, in particular, are amazing.
OMIL is like a hero of mine. To watch someone be like a mother to your grandson when your own daughter died so young must be horrific and yet she has been encouraging and supportive every single step of the way. I think she's the strongest person I've ever met. The fact she dotes on the other 5 kids is just so special. She's a lovely lady.
My MIL currently has my tantrumming 3yo for a few hours so she's my favourite person in the whole wide world 
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What a fucking arse. I too would be livid. Poor girls 
. I would either completely ignore the message or reply simply and to the point that as previously discussed, the girls will not be attending due to prior commitments. I would also block his number/email and carefully monitor his interaction by mobile with the girls. He is obviously upsetting them and emotional blackmail is awful.
What an absolute bellend that man is. I'm so sorry for you and your girls, but I am glad the rest of your family is supportive.
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