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To ask am I bisexual or is this normal?

(105 Posts)
Zerofucksgivenyes Thu 26-Jan-17 20:04:11

I am a married woman in her late 20's with 3 DC's. I've only ever been in relationships with men, no desire to be in a relationship with a woman. I have many female friends who I don't find attractive or have a desire to have sex with. My DH is Thor only person who has ever made me orgasm and I find him physically attractive. I am a girly girl, not in the slightest bit butch.

The question comes in that the only thing that will get me off is thinking of a woman's naked body. I simply cannot orgasm unless I am watching porn with women in or thinking about a naked woman. This has been that way since I was very young. I have had fantasies about having sex with women but I think that if push came to shove I couldn't do it.

I am so confused - does this mean I'm bisexual? Is this normal for a straight woman to feel like this?

TheOtherSock Thu 26-Jan-17 20:05:51

Is it something you feel a need to label? You fantasise about women but only want to have sex with men. It's fine.

Zerofucksgivenyes Thu 26-Jan-17 20:10:36

I don't know, I suppose it's confused me for a long time and I'm too embarrassed to ask my friends if it's normal as I dont want them to think I'm cracking on with them. Just wanted opinions as I don't understand it

Crowdblundering Thu 26-Jan-17 20:11:20

Sorry am giggling at my DH is Thor.

Well lucky you! wink

Seriously you sound really normal - don't worry.

Zerofucksgivenyes Thu 26-Jan-17 20:13:28

Hahaha crowd I've just spotted that 😂😂😂

BarbarianMum Thu 26-Jan-17 20:13:50

Funny old tangled thing, sexuality. I'd not worry about it.

TheOtherSock Thu 26-Jan-17 20:14:23

I think it's normal. IMO it's not at all uncommon to deviate in some way from plain, simple, straightforward "I like men", "I like women", and "I like men and women" sexual categories.

milkysmum Thu 26-Jan-17 20:14:29

I'm married, 2 kids, can't imagine being in a relationship with a women but have very similar feelings to you

BToperator Thu 26-Jan-17 20:14:49

It may be that you are bisexual, but that is normal I don't think it is as simple as everyone being straight, gay or bi. I think there is a spectrum, and everyone is on it at a different point, with most people being somewhere in the middle. It is fine to be how you are.

WineIsMyMainVice Thu 26-Jan-17 20:16:01

Don't worry about it. If that's what does it for you, so be it....!

Astoria7974 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:16:05

You probably are bi but not equally attracted to both sexes. I'm bi, have dated both sexes, but very much prefer men and always have.

thetigerthatcamefortea Thu 26-Jan-17 20:17:19

I agree that it's a bit of a spectrum. I'm the same as you. Can't imagine every actually being with a woman and in real life I don't every feel attracted to woman but do get off on the fantasy of it.

HamletsSister Thu 26-Jan-17 20:17:20

Is there an element of cultural conditioning in many women? We are taught by the media and oorn industry that the naked female form = sex. So, it triggers something....

Not sure but I doubt you are alone.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Thu 26-Jan-17 20:17:59

I knew someone who had a theory that everyone has varying inclinations towards the same sex. I think he's right too, I dont think its as simple as gay, straight, bi.

I've only ever been with men or been attracted to them, but I've fantasised about women. I just dont think I'd make a reality.

Zerofucksgivenyes Thu 26-Jan-17 20:25:39

I've never met a woman that I fancy or think "I want to have sex with her" I just don't know why I can only get off on women?

showmeislands Thu 26-Jan-17 20:35:25

I think you're pretty normal! And I'm another who thinks there's a spectrum and we don't all fit neatly into categories of sexuality.

With regards to why you find the female form sexually exciting in this way, perhaps just because the female form is often very aesthetically appealing and beautiful, so may just have a certain kind of visual appeal for you in a way that is different to the male form.

For me, I would identify as bisexual and have had relationships with both men and women. I am probably more attracted generally to women, I find their bodies more beautiful/sensual/erotic etc, and so the thought of a woman naked is more of a turn on to me, than a man's body. However I'm definitely still attracted to men and I've tended to prefer sex with men, overall. And am married to a man now. But in fantasy, my mind will typically go for women over men. Just how it is!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Thu 26-Jan-17 20:36:55

It's probably because lesbian porn is more female centric and focused on female pleasure rather than a quick in-out.

I don't think that preference is that unusual to be honest.

7SunshineSeven7 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:41:36

I am a girly girl, not in the slightest bit butch. hmm

And that means you can't like women?

HarryPottersMagicWand Thu 26-Jan-17 20:44:59

I could have written your post and have often wondered the same thing. No desire whatsoever to be with a woman but would rather fantasise about them. I think a naked female is nicer to look at than a naked male tbh. I did kind of have 1 female crush a few years ago. Kind of threw me tbh. But it's never happened before or since. I wouldn't say I'm bisexual, more bicurious.

mellowfartfulness Thu 26-Jan-17 20:45:34

I do consider myself bi and have fancied women - but most relationships have been with men (partly because I was always too shy to approach people and it's only men that approach me...) and I'm now married to a man. I only really get off if I'm thinking about women, too.

Use labels if they are useful to you, or don't if they're not. I think a lot of people are in the same boat, if that's a comfort!

mainlywingingit Thu 26-Jan-17 20:47:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eevee77 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:50:14

I wouldn't label it. I've only ever fancied men but can't say I'd never fancy a woman. I think they're far more appealing to look at. A mans naked body isn't particularly sexy to me although I am happy with OH. Don't overt think it.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees Thu 26-Jan-17 20:50:34

I'm mid thirties, married, kids. Could if written your op. Feel exactly the same as you!

WizardOfToss Thu 26-Jan-17 20:53:05

The thought of 2 men together gets me off. I'm definitely not a gay man.

Don't worry about it - sex is a weird old business and the horn resists labels I reckon!

NotCitrus Thu 26-Jan-17 20:54:15

It's not at all unusual - probably the majority of people are bisexual to some degree but not necessarily up for doing anything about it. If you're happily married then that's what matters - though can lead to discussions of which woman you and DH fancy in films, or watching porn together, for example.

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