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To have gone mad at DH for this?

(55 Posts)
Mashathebear Thu 26-Jan-17 18:27:38

I've name changed because im so fuckimg embarrassed about this and would be so ashamed if I was ever outed.

I've just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I'm currently in the hazy stage, it's my first child. I've put on ALOT of weight through the pregancy (3 stone) and let's say I don't look very pretty at the moment.

My DH always watches the tv in bed before going to sleep. Last night I woke and rolled over and caught glimpse of the tv and it was one of those babestation channels (she had knickers on but tits out) my DH scrabbled for the controller but I then noticed he was in the middle of wanking.

I was so upset I stormed out of the room crying. Firstly that he would do that next to me whilst I was asleep and secondly with our newborn in the room!!! I'm so disgusted I can't even look at him. AIBU or is it just my hormones making me feel so sad and upset?

FourEyesGood Thu 26-Jan-17 18:30:36

YANBU. Wanking over someone else while he's in bed with you is vile and totally disrespectful.

Trifleorbust Thu 26-Jan-17 18:34:17

Oh no, I would go batshit. So disrespectful at the best of times but 2 weeks post birth? angry I wouldn't mind him wanking but I would be furious about the circumstances.

Ipitythescale Thu 26-Jan-17 18:35:01

YANBU. Absolutely disgusting to do that with you both right there beside him. What has he said since?

AnyFucker Thu 26-Jan-17 18:35:40


MummaGiles Thu 26-Jan-17 18:37:15

That's disgusting with you both in the room. Please tell him how upset it has made you.

ClopySow Thu 26-Jan-17 18:37:51

Wanking to porn wouldn't bother me. Wanking to porn in bed next to me whole i was asleep would really upset me, never mind being post baby vulnerable.

Tosser - in many many ways.

BusterGonad Thu 26-Jan-17 18:38:21

That is truly awful, let's be honest he's only human but to wank in bed next to you when you are sleeping after just literally having a baby, with the baby in the room!!!! It's one thing to have a sneaky one while you're out the house but ffs....I'd be so upset. You must feel really hurt. He's literally a wanker!!!!

yaela123 Thu 26-Jan-17 18:38:58

YAdefinatelyNBU! That's disgraceful.

What did he think would happen if you woke up? Seems very stupid to me.

Mulberry72 Thu 26-Jan-17 18:39:14

Oh that's horrible OP flowers

Such a disrespectful thing to do shock

AllTheBabies Thu 26-Jan-17 18:39:31

A man having a wank is fine.

But in bed next to you, wanking and watching porn two weeks after you gave birth? I'm not surprised you're so upset sad

DJBaggySmalls Thu 26-Jan-17 18:40:31

YANBU, thats grim flowers

Littleballerina Thu 26-Jan-17 18:43:28

Incredibly disrespectful.
What has he said about it?

Mashathebear Thu 26-Jan-17 18:43:37

He is extremely embarrassed, has tried apologising over and over again and I won't have it. He said he had just finished watching a film and was flicking through the channels on freeview and came across that and was so sexually frustrated he just did it without thinking. He said he didnt want to pester me with satisfying him.

Iknowyouwontlikethis Thu 26-Jan-17 18:44:26

I'm not bothered if dh watched it. Or did have a sneaky one. But if I was asleep next to him I would be very upset. You need to talk to him when you calm down and say that's not on. It's just disrespectful. He could of at least left the room!

ShowMePotatoSalad Thu 26-Jan-17 18:45:50

His explanation sounds totally plausible and he's apologised over and over again. While I understand you being upset about him doing it I think you might be being a bit unreasonable to be angry at him now.

Hillfarmer Thu 26-Jan-17 18:47:12

he didnt want to pester me with satisfying him.

Jesus H, what a fucking hero!

What, is he supposed to get a medal for not pestering you for sex two weeks after you gave birth? He's got to do better than that. What a noble knight he is.

gunsandbanjos Thu 26-Jan-17 18:47:13

I have no issue with porn, or wanking. But do it at an appropriate time.

Beside your sleeping wife who gave birth 2 weeks ago with your newborn baby in the room is not that time.

I'd be upset too.

LegoCaltrops Thu 26-Jan-17 18:47:31

The reason is fair enough. Could he not have had enough self control to go to another room though!?

AwkwardTurtles Thu 26-Jan-17 18:48:28

I'd probably let it go. It's a bit grim, but not the end of the world flowers congrats on the baby 😊

ScarletForYa Thu 26-Jan-17 18:50:52

He just did it 'without thinking' ?

Ugh, just gross, what is he a dog? Wanking with a baby in the room is wrong, seriously wrong. angry

I would be furious. I wouldn't know what to do.

PotteringAlong Thu 26-Jan-17 18:51:08

In all honesty I can't see the problem. You were asleep. You had a baby 2 weeks ago. He wanted a wank. Did he wake you up and pester you for sex? No. Did he pressurise you in any way? No. Did he sort himself out quickly and quietly? Yes. Your baby is 2 weeks old. Them being in the room asleep makes no odds at all.

Trifleorbust Thu 26-Jan-17 18:51:40

Did he actually try to make out he was doing you a courtesy by not waking you up to perform a sex act when you have just given birth?


Keep him in the dog house for a bit.

Paddingtonthebear Thu 26-Jan-17 18:53:02

I would be furious and very upset.

He's behaved like a massive tosser.

He has huge making up to do.

Italiangreyhound Thu 26-Jan-17 19:05:04

Totally horrible.

" He said he didnt want to pester me with satisfying him." How thoughtful of him.

I think it is horrible but eventually you need to have a talk about what is and is not acceptable. This is not acceptable.

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