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Aibu in expecting to be wished Happy Birthday

(17 Posts)
birthdaywoes Thu 26-Jan-17 16:27:33

I've Nc for this but I'm a regular poster.

It was my birthday on 10 January. I have a friend who I've known for six years. We see each other at least once every 2 months, normally in a group setting with other friends.

She hasn't wished me Happy Birthday. No card, no text, no Facebook post (even though other mutual friends have so she would have seen it). She's got a busy life. So have I. I've always sent her at least a card. No falling out or anything. Last time I saw her, all was fine.

First world problem I know, but I feel a bit hurt about this. AIBU?

chickalickaloo Thu 26-Jan-17 16:35:01

I think yabu. People are so busy I find.. I just about remember my own birthday.
Happy birthday from me! flowerscakewine

EweAreHere Thu 26-Jan-17 16:39:39


TheOtherGalen Thu 26-Jan-17 16:54:30

I'm terrible at remembering birthdays. I can barely keep track of my own, which was yesterday, and my mom-type's. I don't reliably remember my cat's birthday. (I don't have kids, cat is the closest analogy I can come up with, ha.) I have trouble remembering the birth & death days of my own birth mother.

My adoptive mom-type, meanwhile, remembers everything. She has a fucking spreadsheet. She knows your birthday, the birthdays of everyone in your immediate family, and the birthdays of all your pets. And the death-days of any pets that are gone. She keeps a stack of cards ready to go.

Some people are just crap at the social niceties. If your friend is a good friend in other ways, I would try really hard to not take it personally.

That said, happy belated birthday! To both of us!

<throws confetti>

languagelearner Thu 26-Jan-17 17:27:56

If you're over 20 you could write on FB "Just 10 days to my birthday, I am so excited!!!" and spread the word in good time.

Why not say "It was my birthday last week, but I missed you, couldn't we meet up and celebrate by having a cake at my place?"

RoseGoldHippie Thu 26-Jan-17 17:30:46

I often forget and don't use fb much so don't see happy birthday messages to other people. Most of my friends are shit at remembering mine too though.

I wouldn't worry she's probably meant to, gotten distracted then forgotten until it's too late

RoseGoldHippie Thu 26-Jan-17 17:32:23

Oh sorry! And of course happy belated birthday! cake (can't even remember when I'm writing about it!)

BingoBingoBingoBango Thu 26-Jan-17 17:34:52

I completely forgot to wish a friend of mine happy birthday or send a card because I was busy looking after my children who had chicken pox. It really wasn't on my mind.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Thu 26-Jan-17 17:36:16

I'm assuming you are over the age of 12? In which case YABU

harderandharder2breathe Thu 26-Jan-17 17:52:34

Yabu, I only get birthday cards from my parents, everyone else just texts or puts a message on fb. I know she didn't do that but it's very easy to forget other people birthdays, and a bit needy to be upset that she didn't get in touch

dollydaydream114 Thu 26-Jan-17 18:00:19

Happy birthday, OP!

I really wouldn't get worked up about this. Some people see birthday cards as important, others don't. She's probably someone who doesn't, that's all. It's almost certainly not personal.

I thought one of my friends might be snubbing me in that way once, as we've known each other for years and years and we exchanged cards when we were younger. I carried on, but she stopped and I thought I might possibly have upset her. I mentioned it to a mutual friend who said 'Oh, she's stopped sending a card to me as well, I've no idea why!' - and they live in the same town and see each other at least once a month and are really close. So I think some people are just a bit crap with cards.

FuzzyCustard Thu 26-Jan-17 18:05:08

Hello the other Galen. My birthday was yesterday too. Happy birthday!

TheOtherGalen Fri 27-Jan-17 02:41:23

<exchanges the secret Jan 25 handshake with FuzzyCustard>

dovesong Fri 27-Jan-17 03:05:33

Yabu, it really isn't that big a deal. Maybe she was busy or preoccupied or thought she'd already texted you or forgot to put your card in the postbox or... There are a lot of possible reasons, none of which are particularly hurtful.

melj1213 Fri 27-Jan-17 07:34:23

YABU - it was my friend's birthday on the 21st of January and I totally forgot ... even though we spent much of that afternoon/evening WhatsApping with each other, I hadn't gone on FB and had totally lost track of the date, and it wasn't until about 2am on the 22nd that I remembered. Fortunately as my friend is in the US it was still her birthday so I literally sent a message saying "OMG I can't believe I haven't said Happy Birthday yet! So sorry, you should have reminded me of the date! Hope you've had a great day!" ... she was fine with it and we both carried on with the chat.

If you were that bothered about marking your birthday, why not be proactive and invite her for a drink or something where you can drop in the fact it was your birthday and you want to mark the occasion? "Hey ForgetfulFriend, we haven't seen each other for a while and since it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago I wondered if you wanted to go for a birthday catch up drink? Let me know when you're free!"

birthdaywoes Fri 27-Jan-17 15:57:39

Thanks all - my head was telling me I was being silly.

Think I need to pull my big girls pants up.

haveacupoftea Fri 27-Jan-17 16:00:11

YABU. No one cares about your birthday once youre past about 10 years old. It doesnt mean she doesnt love you or anything like that.

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