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Do you lend money to friends?

(55 Posts)
MadJeffBarn Wed 25-Jan-17 20:43:33

A very close friend of mine has asked to borrow £50 until Tuesday. I've never lent money to her, so have no idea if she'll be able to pay it back, and it is a substantial amount of money to me. But I agreed because she's recently single and struggling with three children to feed. I just know money can break the strongest of relationships so it always makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. So do you lend? Has it ever gotten in the way of a friendship? Do you have limits on how much you would lend?

Sugarlightly Wed 25-Jan-17 20:44:12

Don't lend anything you can't afford to lose, basically.

BillyDaveysDaughter Wed 25-Jan-17 20:47:23

Yes, I've lent money to a good friend who was really struggling and had no other option than to ask me. I lent it to her because I trust her, I love her, and I was glad to be able to help.

£300 the first time, £100 the second. She has paid back 100%, exactly when she said she would, both times.

But I'm lucky it had it to lend her I guess.

DJBaggySmalls Wed 25-Jan-17 20:51:25

My rule is if I couldn't afford to lose it, I wouldn't lend it. I hope she pays you back, I know how stressful it is playing wait and see.

DeadZed Wed 25-Jan-17 20:57:37

This is a difficult one. I'm in a similar position myself at the moment. A friend wants to borrow £100 and I'm unsure whether to lend it or not. I have lent money and she has always paid it back but I've found out she owes money elsewhere so I'm a bit concerned she is overstretching herself. Also the money is for a child's birthday present so it is not essential to spend such a large amount.
I am going to talk to my friend tomorrow.

I do think you have to be prepared to not get your loan back.

Boulshired Wed 25-Jan-17 20:59:33

I have lent to a very good friend and family a few times but whilst its outstanding it did feel awkward. It probably made us even closer and I know I could call on them if needed.

yaela123 Wed 25-Jan-17 20:59:57

I agree with PPs, don't lend it if you can't afford to lose it.

I have lent money 3 times, to two different friends, one or whom I am still really close to, the other a lot less so but this is not money related. First one £55 then £40, second one £80. They both paid me back 100% after paydays. Both single mums with 2 or 4 kids (respectively). I trusted them both completely and they were struggling.

questioningitall Wed 25-Jan-17 21:03:42

Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Best advice ever.

Birdsgottafly Wed 25-Jan-17 21:04:56

I've always lived in low income areas (in Liverpool), 'we' always used to rely on each other, when wages were paid in cash/not regularly etc.

I still lend small amounts to neighbors and give toilet rolls, sugar etc.

I lend to family members, amounts that I know they can pay back.

It always puzzles me that it's said, on here, to not lend money, but when a Poster is stuck, the first question is "can't you lend off anyone?".

The lack of community and wanting to help our neighbors, in various ways, is the one thing that I hate about modern life.

Crowdblundering Wed 25-Jan-17 21:06:25

Only if I don't need it back.

Lent my best mate £300 last year when she was in a real fix (I offered) and I know one day she'll give it back but if she doesn't it's not a massive deal. She had no one else.

Oysterbabe Wed 25-Jan-17 21:07:12

I've lent money to a good friend twice. I lent her £1000 when her car blew up and she repaid over a year. I lent her £2500 to help her buy a house and she repaid over about 18 months. I wouldn't have done it if it had meant I'd have struggled. We've been friends for a very long time, I trusted her to repay it and felt good about helping her out.

Farfromtheusual Wed 25-Jan-17 21:10:08

I lent money to my close friend once so that she could come on holiday for my birthday, she was the only one out of a group of 10 not going and I felt sorry for her when she said she couldn't afford it (it was only meant to be a few of us to start with but then it kind of spiralled into a big thing). Can't remember exactly how much it was now but was about £200 I think. She said she would pay me back, after another event we had booked to go to a few weeks after the holiday. Fair enough. Event was booked well in advance and would be an expensive weekend. She then proceeded to go out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night for about 6 months after the event. Paying the odd 20 quid here and there saying I promise I'll give you more next week blah blah blah. Got bored of the excuses in the end and just said look, I need the rest of the money. She paid in full and I've never lent her or any other friends money ever again. But we are still friends.

AyeAmarok Wed 25-Jan-17 21:11:05

It would depend what it was for, essentials or non-essential. And whether I could afford to lose it if they didn't pay me back.

If it was for a genuine need, ie she can't afford food because of a one off large bill, and not just because they'd spent too much on shoes or something, I'd happily lend (probably give, actually).

If it was because they couldn't budget properly and prioritised frivolous things, then no.

RuggerHug Wed 25-Jan-17 21:11:37

Learnt the hard way to be wary. Ex friend owes me several grand from different loans and part of me is angry at myself for 'lending' and the rest angry at her that I would be very wary of lending to anyone now. Even if I trust them.sad

MrTumblesbitch Wed 25-Jan-17 21:12:57

One of my colleagues and I have a £100 we pass between us as needed (our last company went into administration and didn't pay us our wages and it started from there) There is no judgement and its not a big deal to ask for it - in fact I have forgotten which one of us has it at the moment. We are both paid well now, so it isn't really needed any more, but its reassuring none the less.

I have 1 other friend I used to lend / give / receive money from years ago. She was my best mate from school and we just supported each other through the years whenever it was needed. Ironically it changed when she became a multi millionaire, as I never wanted her to think I was after her money!

DeadZed Wed 25-Jan-17 21:14:36

I absolutely agree with you birds. I wouldn't see my friend stuck, she is a single parent on benefits and usually manages really well. I feel like this time it is a lot of money which doesn't need to be spent. Wanting to buy your child an expensive present is fine but generally people have to cut their clothes according to their budget. It's tricky because it normally doesn't bother me what people spend their money on but when you are being asked to fund something that you may not think is the right thing to spend money on what do you say then?

MrTumblesbitch Wed 25-Jan-17 21:14:59

*should add - the multi millionare situation I explained badly - I used to lend / give her money too, it wasn't just one way!*

Newbrummie Wed 25-Jan-17 21:15:23

A friend of mine lent me £1000 to go on holiday which she promptly got back so teach I'd do the same

sum1killthepawpatrollers Wed 25-Jan-17 21:17:47

another one who learnt the hard way.
had a friend who i thought of as my sister so lent her bits and bobs every now and then, ll with the promise it would be paid back when she "was on her feet again" worked it out she still owes me 1500, couldnt give me even a 5er a week as she was brassic yet always had vodka n quite often drugs. needless to say we are no longer friends

SheldonsSpot Wed 25-Jan-17 21:20:11

I wouldn't see a friend sitting in the dark or the cold or going without food.

But loaning money to buy their child an expensive birthday present or to pay for a holiday or night out - no, I wouldn't, they're living beyond their means if they're asking to borrow money for things like that.

Magzmarsh Wed 25-Jan-17 21:22:29

I wouldn't.

Love51 Wed 25-Jan-17 21:35:57

I gave a friend money for interview clothes once.
I'm still pissed off I lent someone a book they didn't return, several years ago, so I'm not a good lender. I'm also mainly friends with people who are well enough off not to ask. My Dad has offered to give me money for something as a gift, he once said he'd never lend to us (his kids) as either he needs it to pay his own bills, in which case, no, or he doesn't, in which case keep it! I think he's been burned in the past, but I'm not sure who by.

TheCustomaryMethod Wed 25-Jan-17 21:41:15

Maximum I ever lend anyone is a tenner.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 25-Jan-17 21:46:18

I've borrowed up to £100 from my best friend (a work friend also once offered to lend me £100) and always pay back when I said I would.

I've borrow up to £1000 from my mum and again always pay it back. She actually now has savings accounts for me and my sister that she put £1000 in each and we can borrow it and pay it back and borrow it again but if we don't pay it back that's fine but it can't be borrowed again.

As a rule neither a borrowerer or a lender be but if you trust her and have agreed a definite pay back date then hopefully it will be fine.

goldopals Wed 25-Jan-17 22:04:28

Not really. I give small amounts, but never lend any

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