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re child giving up seat to an elderly person on the bus

(348 Posts)
user1485342611 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:25:54

My friend is furious because her 12 year old daughter was asked by an adult to give up her seat on the bus for an elderly man.

Apparently the bus was full, my friend and her daughter were sitting separately and an elderly man with a walking stick got on. No one stood up so a woman who was standing near the door asked friend's dd if she would give the man her seat, which dd did. My friend is going on about the 'cheek' of 'some stranger' telling her daughter what to do and why didn't she ask another adult etc etc

AIBU to think she's being ridiculous, and her daughter should have stood up without prompting?

Stormwhale Wed 25-Jan-17 15:26:58

Of course she is being ridiculous.

PurpleDaisies Wed 25-Jan-17 15:28:03

I thought the child was going to be a toddler.

At 12 (unless there are additional needs) there's no reason why a child shouldn't give up theid seat for an elderly person.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Wed 25-Jan-17 15:28:23

Unless the child is disabled, her mother should have told her to stand.

I like the signs that I've seen on Australian buses, stating that child/student passengers on reduced fares must vacate seats for an adult.

TheProblemOfSusan Wed 25-Jan-17 15:29:14

Yep, she's being ridiculous and the daughter should have stood anyway.

It's one thing having very small children sitting safely out of that way on buses, but not a big girl of twelve. But I'm old fashioned - children shouldn't be sitting if any adult is standing. chucks cat at pigeons and legs it

brasty Wed 25-Jan-17 15:29:32

I was brought up to give up my seat for any adult.

MrsJayy Wed 25-Jan-17 15:29:52

I taught my able Dds to offer seats on buses from about 10 it is just good manners imo, however you will get folk saying all sorts about why children are perfectly entitled not to be kind to other people

glenthebattleostrich Wed 25-Jan-17 15:30:22

I think I'd be asking if your friend wasn't just embarrassed that a stranger had to teach her daughter manners. She shouldn't have to be asked, she should have volunteered her seat.

yaela123 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:30:50

I agree with Purple. A 12yo isn't really different to an adult in this situation.

Why couldn't the stranger or your friend stand up?

MTB1003 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:31:07

The mother should be ashamed that she hasn't taught her daughter to do that already instead she's taken the typical entitled route.

alleypalley Wed 25-Jan-17 15:31:09

She is being totally ridiculous. My 12yo would have giver her seat up of her own accord had she noticed. If she hadn't noticed (too busy on her phone) I would have no problem with someone giving her a nudge to do it.

TheCustomaryMethod Wed 25-Jan-17 15:32:10

Assuming 12 year old is fit and able YANBU and she shouldn't have needed prompting - the only thing I'd say in 12 year old's defence is that there were doubtless other seated adults on the bus who were equally able to stand, and equally inconsiderate in not offering, so a good example was not being set.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Wed 25-Jan-17 15:32:36

Why couldn't the stranger or your friend stand up?

Surely more reasonable that the young person paying a half fare stands before someone paying full?

Babbaganush Wed 25-Jan-17 15:34:28

Your friend should be ashamed of herself!!! It is basic manners to offer your seat to someone who has mobility issues.

Lorelei76 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:34:38

I never ask anyone specific, just call out "can someone offer a seat".

TheCustomaryMethod Wed 25-Jan-17 15:34:47

yaela I read the OP's post as saying the stranger was standing up as well.

MrsJayy Wed 25-Jan-17 15:34:57

Yes that is true other passengers could have got up but didn't

Lorelei76 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:35:48

To be clear, I ask for others not for me eg my parents.

MrsJayy Wed 25-Jan-17 15:36:37

Yes the woman who prompted the girl was standing

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Wed 25-Jan-17 15:37:55

I asked a man if he'd give his seat to a pregnant lady the other day (she and I were both standing). She was pleased and he didn't seem to mind).

29redshoes Wed 25-Jan-17 15:38:48

YANBU at all. Your friend is being really odd, her DD is 12 not 2.

user1485342611 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:39:18

Yes, the woman who asked was standing herself.
When I was a child it was just accepted that children stood up first, and then fit and able adults. Children have only paid half fare, adults have paid full fare.

BigbyWolf Wed 25-Jan-17 15:42:44

I genuinely don't understand why people think a child should give their seat up for an adult. Why didn't the woman give her own seat up for the elderly gent?

Don't get me wrong, I would gladly give my seat up for someone who needed it more than me, and my dds (one of whom is 12) would also. But this attitude that children should stand while the bus is full of sitting, able-bodied adults is what's ridiculous.

expatinscotland Wed 25-Jan-17 15:42:56

Why is it always someone female or young who are asked to give up their seats?

'Surely more reasonable that the young person paying a half fare stands before someone paying full?'

By that logic, then the man should have stood since he probably wasn't paying fare at all hmm. Big assumption, too, as some bus companies charge full fare at 11+.

llangennith Wed 25-Jan-17 15:43:21

Hard to believe how bad-mannered and selfish some parents and children are. Yes young people i.e. school age should give up their seat for any adult looking like they need it whether it's an old person, a pregnant female or a parent with a baby or toddler.

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