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To think my DH is being a dickhead?

(64 Posts)
Irritatedmama Tue 24-Jan-17 20:31:09

So, my idiot DH didn't want to come around the supermarket with me earlier so waited in the car with the kids. I was about an hour or so. He left the radio and air con unit on the entire time and surprise surprise when I got back the car wouldn't start!

He claimed to have no idea that sitting for an hour with the air con and radio on would drain the battery ( who the hell wouldn't know this?!?!). So we had to wait another hour for the breakdown people to get to us and jump start the engine.

He then dropped me and the kids home while he drove around to charge the car battery.
I put away all of the shopping, fed kids, bathed kids, put kids to bed, packed nursery bags for tomorrow, put away laundry and made dinner. He has just walked in the door and told me that he doesn't need dinner as he got himself a burger while out!!!

I've just got annoyed at him and he is nowsulking upstairs as apparently I am being a cow ( not his exact words but that's the gist).
Apparently this was not selfish of him because when he asked me earlier what was for dinner I said I wasn't hungry right now. We had just eaten sandwiches while waiting for the breakdown van. So according to him this meant that 2 hours later it was ok for him to get himself food without even bothering to check whether I wanted anything.

I now have a cottage pie in the oven that I don't bloody want and that I busted a gut to make because I thought he was hungry.

Saucery Tue 24-Jan-17 20:36:07

Have a cup of tea now, online shop in future. It's irritating but not a massive deal tbh.

Irritatedmama Tue 24-Jan-17 20:42:52

Well to make things better the cottage pie is lovely!

sleepachu Tue 24-Jan-17 20:50:01

I would be FURIOUS!

Creampastry Tue 24-Jan-17 21:21:03

What a selfish twat

PopcornBits Tue 24-Jan-17 21:22:35

Really? Sounds like miscommunication on both sides to me.

EweAreHere Tue 24-Jan-17 21:23:07

I would be really ticked off.

So he caused the problem, then got to drive around and had some quiet time to himself, as well as a burger, while you rushed around doing all the chores while sorting out the children for 2 hours.

Selfish git.

buckingfrolicks Tue 24-Jan-17 21:24:03

I'd be raging mad!

Writerwannabe83 Tue 24-Jan-17 21:24:29

TBF - I wouldn't know that sitting with the air con and radio on for an hour would drain the battery grin

Whisky2014 Tue 24-Jan-17 21:25:32

Hmm he has been an idiot but why martyr yourself? You didnt make the the pie for yourself but for him...why would you do this?!

SanitysSake Tue 24-Jan-17 21:28:46

Yup, I'dve got majorly hacked off, too.

Glad your dinner was tasty though!

Crowdblundering Tue 24-Jan-17 21:29:40

Do you not drive...?

Irritatedmama Tue 24-Jan-17 21:34:09

I do drive hence knowing about draining car batteries! If you're meaning why didn't I drive myself then it was because we had been out elsewhere and popped to the supermarket on our way home.

I made the cottage pie for dinner for both of us. What I meant was I wouldn't have bothered had I known he was grabbing himself a burger. I would have just made myself something quick.

He is still sulking upstairs.

Whisky2014 Tue 24-Jan-17 21:40:44

Also did all the housework...so you cleaned the house and made a pie to keep him happy it seems to me. Its also weird he preferred to stay in the car whilst you did the shopping. Seems like a lazy bastard

Crowdblundering Tue 24-Jan-17 21:45:36

God I would have done it another time - an hour is a lot of shopping - kids must have been bored shitless?

Hiwi Tue 24-Jan-17 21:45:55

Using the radio for an hour will not drain the battery to the point where the car won't start unless the battery is already on it's way out. Also the aircon will not work without the engine running it will have just been the fans operating which again wouldn't drain the battery much unless it was already past it's best.

travailtotravel Tue 24-Jan-17 21:46:07

Shove the cottage pie in the fridge and feed it to him tomorrow. Sorted.

GunnyHighway Tue 24-Jan-17 21:47:56

Your air con won't work if the engine isn't running. The compressor is run by a belt from the crankshaft. The radio doesn't user that much of your battery. You have a problem with your battery.

trinketsofgold Tue 24-Jan-17 21:49:42

Using the radio for an hour will not drain the battery to the point where the car won't start unless the battery is already on it's way out. Also the aircon will not work without the engine running it will have just been the fans operating which again wouldn't drain the battery much unless it was already past it's best

This

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Tue 24-Jan-17 21:49:51

He owes you big time. Can't believe he is sulking.

Although it is funny that you said "I'm not hungry". This is (now) a running joke between me and DH. Background is that he answered that one too many times when I would ask "What do you want to do for dinner?"

AAAUUGGGHHHHH NO you idiot I don't care if you are hungry. I am ASKING what we should prepare and feed our FAMILY for dinner which happens to include our children who need feeding, no matter how you feel about the situation. Whether or not you yourself, a grown man, are hungry right now or not IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT.

So I ranted at him along those lines and now whenever either of us asks about breakfast / lunch / dinner. the answer has to be "I'm not hungry".

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Tue 24-Jan-17 21:53:00

Also, the question must never, ever be "what's for dinner?" thus implying it is my job to always be in charge of all food-related tasks. The question must be "what should we do for dinner?"

The answer doesn't change (e.g. "I'm making chilli", or "shall we order a takeaway") but it it makes all the difference to me. Such a small thing.

WyfOfBathe Tue 24-Jan-17 21:53:13

I think he was a bit of an idiot, but I don't think he's being a dickhead.

The car battery is annoying, but he didn't know or didn't think. I know that you can run down the battery by using air con and radio, but I wouldn't have known that it would drain completely in an hour - I've left my lights on for 3ish hours before while I was at work and the car still started.

One of you needed to drive the car around. At that point, that was as important as sorting the kids out. I'm sure you'd be more annoyed if he'd refused to drive it around.

And if when he asked what's for dinner, all you said was "I'm not hungry right now" then I don't see why he wouldn't assume he could get himself something to eat and maybe you weren't cooking dinner. If you'd said "I'm not hungry right now but I'll find something to put in later" then he would know not to eat out.

I realise that my post sounds like I'm blaming you for everything, I'm not - I do think he could have acted better - but I don't see why you're so angry.

Jamhandprints Tue 24-Jan-17 21:53:35

Sounds like a normal day for me. Annoying but nothing major.

user1484317265 Tue 24-Jan-17 21:55:25

He claimed to have no idea that sitting for an hour with the air con and radio on would drain the battery ( who the hell wouldn't know this?!?!)

That wouldn';t drain my battery. Yours sounds dodgy, and unless he has magic battery mind reading powers, how the hell would he know?

And wtf did everyone have to sit in the car for an hour while you did the shopping anyway?

MouseLove Tue 24-Jan-17 22:04:05

Seriously get yourself an online shopping delivery pass (£30 for the year). An HOUR???? hell no with kids in the car.

Maybe you should divy up chores and jobs around the house so you both know what's expected of you.

Enjoy your cottage pie. You earned it!

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