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I think that is one of those conversations...

(9 Posts)
Oakmaiden Tue 24-Jan-17 17:52:45

Conversation with my husband and daughter.

Background info - When I pick daughter up from school I collect from one of 3 places - our "usual place" (down the road and around the corner), just across the road from the school or down a side street. I had dropped daughter at school this morning and said "When I pick you up it will be around the corner - I mean at (usual collection place)". DH was picking up this evening - I told him I said I would meet her at the "usual place". When he went there she was at the "side street" - I can understand why she was confused because that is around a corner too - but I had clarified for that reason and said "usual place".

When they got home she said "I don't remember you saying "usual place" and dh said "Yeah, I think that is one of those conversations Mummy has just had in her head." AIBU to actually get cross about this - he is saying that I just make things up? When I pointed out that this is what he was saying he said "No it isn't. I mean you do it to me sometimes - you say you have said something and I can't remember you ever saying it." Which sounds a lot to me like actually saying "twice" that I just lie about things.

I am really pissed off, to be honest. He thinks I am being extremely unreasonable. I think he shouldn't have said to our daughter "Oh, Mummy just makes stuff up and claims she has said things". Which I don't. AIBU, or is he?

DearMrDilkington Tue 24-Jan-17 17:54:36

Why do you collect her from 3 different places?

lozzylizzy Tue 24-Jan-17 17:55:19

I get this too when really it is just an excuse for them not listening to me! I tell them so (DH and DS1 who is 8).

Its quite irritating!

Chelazla Tue 24-Jan-17 18:01:24

Really sounds like a throw away comment I do think you're being slightly precious! Sorry!confused

Oakmaiden Tue 24-Jan-17 18:01:35

Why do you collect her from 3 different places?

It depends what time it is mostly. If I am coming from home and it is before 6pm I collect from the "usual place". This is because there is a lot of traffic and that place (whilst a further walk from the school) means I don't have to drive down the (narrow and very busy) road the school is on.

I collect from the side road if it is very late (eg after orchestra - so there is less traffic and it is dark).

If it is an odd time to pick her up (picking up early for a dentist appt etc) I park on the road across from the school - but otherwise there is rarely space.

Oakmaiden Tue 24-Jan-17 18:02:46

I just get fed up of the snide comments - usually made to other people and framed like a "joke".

Chelazla Tue 24-Jan-17 18:07:46

Does he put you down in general because that's different and maybe why you feel sensitive

Oakmaiden Tue 24-Jan-17 18:25:34

I don't know... probably not.

Usually just snide comments about "Gosh, Oak is so disorganised, she could never do that. Ha ha ha." (The classic one was when he said this to sil at mil's funeral. The one which I had completely organised on my own with no help from any of her actual family (for good reasons - we live a lot more local than them - I don't grudge having done it at all. I do dislike being laughed at.)

Anyw, I'm not. I just have fuck loads more to do than he does. Everywhere else I have a reputation for being the person who knows exactly what is going on, what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by. And whilst I am less regimental about it at home - things still get done. I am sensitive about it though. And I sometimes wonder - if that letter really needs posting today, or that bill really needs paying - why not do it yourself? Instead of leaving it all for me? Who also, incase you hadn't noticed, has a full time job? And who also spends a good deal more of her "home time" running around doing things for other people than you do?

Ahem. Maybe I just want to vent a bit?

Chelazla Tue 24-Jan-17 21:33:23

My hubby is same couldn't find is arse with both hands but then tells me like world is ending "you forgot ds mittens today"! Oh did I weren't you therehmm hope you feel better for a vent you aren't alone!

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