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Floods of tears

(94 Posts)
cathf Tue 24-Jan-17 16:39:13

How many times have I read that phrase since I started perusing the Mumsnet boards?
I'm sat here in floods of tears...
I couldn't stop crying
I'm sobbing
He's making me cry
I burst into tears
Do we want to be treated like grown-ups or like little girls?
Difficult to articulate what I mean and why I find it so annoying, but I think it boils down to women demanding equality (and rightly so) but collapsing into pathetic wrecks when the going gets tough, and expecting sympathy by crying.
Does anyone else know what I mean?

Nope I have no idea what you mean. Sometimes life gets tough and gets too much, there's no shame in having a good bloody cry.

lizi311 Tue 24-Jan-17 16:42:46

I know exactly how you feel. Its always bugged me that some women want to be treated equally but when they do and things get tough or they dont get their own way they shrivel up into crying wrecks 😠

TheLegendOfBeans Tue 24-Jan-17 16:43:11

Your compassion and support for the sisterhood is really shining through, OP

confused

lizi311 Tue 24-Jan-17 16:43:47

Yes things can get too much and it can be emotional for both men and women. Nothing wrong with a good cry but for the right reason. Not just to get their own way

mum2Bomg Tue 24-Jan-17 16:44:50

Women cry. Men keep it in. Generally.

Sassypants82 Tue 24-Jan-17 16:45:43

And Men cry too. No shame in it. I often feel stronger after a good cry. Doesn't mean for a second that I'm a 'pathetic wreck'. I often well up when I'm happy too. It's very healthy to express your emotions.

enfru Tue 24-Jan-17 16:45:48

Errrmmmmm I definitely do not get what you mean.
Crying is a way of releasing emotion be you upset, happy or angry.
If people are crying, they're crying. It doesn't show weakness of any sort- perhaps if more people realised that then men would be more open to having a good cry too

CockacidalManiac Tue 24-Jan-17 16:46:32

Crying as a reaction to stressful events is physiologically healthy. Tears contain hormones such as cortisol; releasing them is beneficial.

user1483387154 Tue 24-Jan-17 16:47:10

Most people don't cry to get sympathy or attention but as a response to emotional overload, which is then released by crying

BitOutOfPractice Tue 24-Jan-17 16:47:13

I think anyone's emotional reaction to an emotional situation is valid. I loathe people who try and dismiss others feelings. Funny isn't it though how a woman's reactions are seen as pathetic and manipulative. Yep. The sisterhood lives.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Tue 24-Jan-17 16:47:29

Men cry too you know. All this "crying shows weakness" bullshit just perpetuates the myth. I very rarely cry and I wish I could, because it would release tension sometimes. I've cried through sheer rage before.
Incidentally, slamming women for crying while trying to come off as a feminist really isn't working.

CockacidalManiac Tue 24-Jan-17 16:48:02

Men keep it in. Generally.

Not healthy. Seen the suicide stats for men?

WorraLiberty Tue 24-Jan-17 16:48:13

Some people don't really have control over their tears, as they're more prone to it than others.

But I do hate seeing people type the words "I'm in floods of tears here" on a chat forum, simply because they don't like the answers they're getting.

I'm not sure I know anyone in RL who can simply switch tears on and off....well not adults anyway.

BarbarianMum Tue 24-Jan-17 16:48:23

I have no problem with women crying. It pisses me off that any man doing more than shedding a single tear when his mum does is seen as weak.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 24-Jan-17 16:48:25

Sometimes a good cry gets the emotional side out of the way so you can concentrate on ltb!!

NerrSnerr Tue 24-Jan-17 16:48:36

I can see your point but I don't think it's as simple as women crying for attention. I remember as a child I was hugely emotional and used to cry a lot, it wasn't for attention but as I was the youngest that's what everyone thought. I used to try and go somewhere alone to cry but that wasn't always possible so got eye rolls and laughed or shouted at. I spent my young adulthood actively trying never to cry (even after bereavement etc) because I felt it was a bad thing to do. It is only now I realise that if I'm feeling sad (or 6 months pregnant like I am) that it's ok to cry and doesn't make me a bad person.

flipflap75 Tue 24-Jan-17 16:49:25

'Expecting sympathy by crying'...

Makes it sound as though OP thinks crying is a deliberate action - something you do on purpose. I've never met anyone who can do that. If I cry, it's because I can't contain my emotion/anger. I don't cry often, so if I said I was in 'floods of tears', I'd be feeling pretty extreme. Don't see why I should be ashamed of that.

BarbarianMum Tue 24-Jan-17 16:49:47

That should read "when his mum dies" hmm

cathf Tue 24-Jan-17 16:49:56

Where have I said that I am trying to come off as a feminist????
Or do I have to unfailingly support 'the sisterhood' in everything it does, as a PP seemed to think?

DaisyQueen Tue 24-Jan-17 16:50:19

I didn't realise that to be treated as an equal to man that meant that we had to hold back emotion. I cry, it's not very often but I am human and have feelings that need expressing, it doesn't make me weaker than anyone else

badabing36 Tue 24-Jan-17 16:51:47

Crying is a natural reaction, some people cry, others don't. It doesn't make you stronger or more grown up than them and it it doesn't mean you should respect them any less either.

Why do you judge other people for crying?

cathf Tue 24-Jan-17 16:52:51

Anyway, I can see the direction this thread is going to go, and I have no desire to get dragged into a feminism argument.
So I will accept that IAMU and bow out now.

GinIsIn Tue 24-Jan-17 16:53:17

Oh sod off! hmm Wanting equality doesn't mean you have to be an emotional robot! Men don't deal with emotion particularly successfully - just a glance at the statistics on suicide can back that up.

TheCustomaryMethod Tue 24-Jan-17 16:53:22

A good cry can be cathartic - not everyone cries 'expecting sympathy', it's often a private thing. It can be an awful feeling if you're in front of others and suddenly find yourself on the verge of tears, without easily being able to extricate yourself.

I agree tears shouldn't be used manipulatively for attention or sympathy, but if someone's apparently crying over something minor, an outsider doesn't always know what else is going on in their life.

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