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to just give up and be a little bit pathetic?

(16 Posts)
MyBreadIsEggy Tue 24-Jan-17 15:01:04

My DH is a serving soldier, he has just been deployed overseas, I'm at home, miles away from family and have 2 DC's under 2.
I'm keeping myself busy with the DC's during the day, lots of activities with the older one etc.
But the evenings once she's in bed and it's just me and 13 week old DS, the sadness hits me sad
I feel completely pathetic for feeling this way - it's not like it's the first deployment we've dealt with! But something feels different about this one. I have this horrible ache in my chest and a constant lump in my throat. My DD has just drawn a picture and then gone running through the house clutching it, shouting "Daddy look!" sad
WIBU to just go to bed and cry when the DC's go to bed?! I'm being very upbeat for the sake of my DD but it's exhausting!!
I feel like I should be doing something productive, but instead, all I want to to is go to bed, watch shit telly on my iPad and be miserable.

PixieMiss Tue 24-Jan-17 15:24:46

I didn't want to read and run. That sounds so tough, especially with your newest baby.

Do you have a return date to look forward to?

xStefx Tue 24-Jan-17 15:31:26

Aw hun im so sorry your feeling lonely, I imagine with 2 x young dd's and no one at home that would be easy to feel this way.

Sometimes a good cry helps

Sending love x

EsmesBees Tue 24-Jan-17 15:35:17

Nothing wrong with being a bit pathetic now and then. If curling up with the iPad helps then so be it. It's bloody hard doing it on your own. Be kind to yourself.

JennyOnAPlate Tue 24-Jan-17 15:35:57

Yanbu flowers

Have you seen the forces sweethearts section on here? I think it's in other stuff.

JennyOnAPlate Tue 24-Jan-17 15:36:40

It's in in the club sorry...

mrswhiplington Tue 24-Jan-17 15:38:22

Sorry you feel so sad. It must be so tough when your DH isn't there.flowers

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 24-Jan-17 15:41:40

Thanks for the responses.
Don't know what I was really looking for from this thread - I just needed to talk someone who isn't a toddler!!

mrswhiplington Tue 24-Jan-17 15:44:21

Do you like reading? Sometimes getting lost in a good book can take your mind off things for a bit. Try the local library. The DC might enjoy it too!

TheProblemOfSusan Tue 24-Jan-17 15:46:20

I think you're allowed to feel a bit pathetic in these circumstances!

The only problem is that it can become a habit, and that's not great. Have you talked to the health visitor about this? There might be mums groups you could go to to get some adult company from people who understand?

PJBanana Tue 24-Jan-17 15:49:50

Do you have a good relationship with your family?

Could you Skype them once or twice a week in the evenings, just to say hello.

It must be tough for you on your own most of the time with 2 DC. And I agree with PP, if you feel like a good cry, don't hold it in flowers

poohsticks13 Tue 24-Jan-17 15:54:43

flowers for you.
Are there any toddler/baby groups around you can join?

I know it won't help with missing your DH and family but might help a bit with loneliness xxx

poohsticks13 Tue 24-Jan-17 15:56:46

Sorry..meant to say..so you can maybe meet some other parents/friends.

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 24-Jan-17 16:09:55

I think I might tackle toddler group tomorrow morning - have been putting off going with both DC's since DS was born, because DD is a bit of a whirlwind! But it will be 2 hours of not being stuck in the house which is always good smile
I guess I don't realise how much time DH and I spend together or how much I actually rely on him until he's not here!
For example, I've just cleaned the cat's litter tray out, which I haven't done for over a year because DH always does it!

potoftea Tue 24-Jan-17 16:37:13

I really don't know how you do it. I'd never have coped like you are, I think you are doing a fantastic job. Just having total responsibility of everything must be tough. And then just missing your dh for company too.
My dh is going away for a week in the summer and I'm already feeling lonely at the thought of being without him, and I don't have young children to take care of.
You are never being pathetic if you are finding it tough going, but are doing so well to keep going in spite of how difficult it is.

MyBreadIsEggy Tue 24-Jan-17 17:45:24

potoftea On one hand, deployments are easier now we have children purely because the house isn't quiet and empty, but on thee other, it's harder because I miss him more! Especially when DD keeps asking for Daddy sad

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