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AIBU?

To think that nursery must drug a room full of under 2s to get them to sit nicely and cooperate?

152 replies

Bubspub · 24/01/2017 12:56

Obviously the title is in jest! I don't suspect that my nursery is drugging the children, they are an excellent nursery of very lovely staff. I took DS 21mo in slightly later than usual this morning and 'sing and sign' had begun. I stood there open mouthed. I kid you not, a room full of under 2s sat in perfect, straight rows, listening attentively to nursery nurse singing and signing. HOW DO THEY GET THEM TO DO THAT??! I am seriously impressed. I also assume that my DS went to join them and behaved this way. HE WOULD NEVER DO THIS AT HOME! Am I the only person whose child is a complete hooligan at home but get reports that "he's been an absolute star" when I pick him up and they have told me very clearly that they have no concerns about his attention and behaviour? I'm baffled but impressed at the same time! And open to the suggestion that it's because of my crap parenting!

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RiversrunWoodville · 24/01/2017 12:57

I've often wondered the secret too!

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Somerville · 24/01/2017 12:58

Peer pressure/ following the herd. The older ones listen so the younger ones copy.
That, and stickers.

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 24/01/2017 12:59

I reckon they've all just had a heavy second breakfast so they're all sleepy and compliant Grin

Because I have no other ideas!

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Bubspub · 24/01/2017 12:59

Yes, I think an element of it is the social situation, social/peer pressure which I can't really recreate at home. But I'm still thoroughly impressed at what I saw. They were kneeling in perfect rows!

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Afreshstartplease · 24/01/2017 13:00

The power of stickers and positive praise

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Geraldthegiraffe · 24/01/2017 13:00

I'd find it bizarre they even want under 2s sat in neat rows!!!

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KayTee87 · 24/01/2017 13:01

I suspect most 2yo's behave better for people that aren't their parents. My 2yo nephew nearly always does what I ask him and behaves nicely for me when I have him. Doesn't behave for db & sil though.

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Ohdearducks · 24/01/2017 13:01

They want to impress their teachers and out do their friends, their will be praise and rewards for good sitting and good listening so they're on best behaviour! Also we don't keep them more than 5 or 10 mins at a time because generally 2 year olds need moving as much as possible.

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EsmesBees · 24/01/2017 13:01

It's witchcraft. My nap dodging DD apparently sleeps 90 mins every day on a mat with all the lights on at nursery. Some days they tell me 'she needed her back patting for a few minutes'. At home, I have to get just the right level of tiredness, a totally dark room, music, story etc etc and it's still hit and miss.

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Bubspub · 24/01/2017 13:02

Stickers + praise seem like a really good thing. DH and myself try to praise him often but sometimes he's so naughty. I also bought stickers but he wanted all of them at once!

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Groovee · 24/01/2017 13:03

I don't know about 2 year olds as it normally takes us a year to train the 3 year olds to sit still in time for the preschool year.

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loona13 · 24/01/2017 13:04

I constantly hear from nursery how lovely, calm and shy is my drama queen/tantrum queen/monster 3you DD Shock At home she can be a horror on legs...

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Bubspub · 24/01/2017 13:08

Esme, my child is like a totally different child in the nursery handovers. He eats finger food, sleeps in busy room, generally does what he's told! At home he appears to have food aversions, takes ages to get to sleep, behaves dreadfully in public. At Christmas the nursery dressed him up as Santa in a little red costume with a hat, took photographs and made it into a Christmas card. It took me a while to convince my DH that it hadn't been photoshopped. We couldn't believe he would sit like that wearing a hat and he photographed, he hats hats and never sits still. We paid for a professional Christmas photo shoot but the results were terrible (huge pet lips, furious etc) but here he in sat grinning dressed up as Santa with a bloody hat on!!!

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Bubspub · 24/01/2017 13:09
  • hates hats.
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picklemepopcorn · 24/01/2017 13:10

Clear expectation and example, structure. They come in and everyone else is doing it. They know how long it will last and what will happen next. Very safe and reassuring.

My non sleeping DS even had afternoon naps on nursery days. Little short of miraculous.

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Doglikeafox · 24/01/2017 13:10

Haha, your OP made me giggle.
I'm a childminder who looks after 3 x 2 year olds for 10-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. They are absolute angels for me, and I honestly enjoy my day so much. Every now and then they have a little squabble, X isn't sharing, Y doesn't want to hold hands today, Z ate X's toast whilst Z went to the toilet but on the whole they are fantastic kids.
All three of them are little terrors when their parent's turn up!
Won't do a thing we tell them, won't put their shoes on, hitting eachother, breaking things... they are like something possessed! Their parents think I'm some miracle childminder but really, it is just the way things are.
I saw a child the other day in the distance whilst I was packing my car with groceries... the child was screaming like a banshee, flat out refusing to get into the supermarket trolley, smacking her mum. As I got closer to return my trolley I realise it is X and her mum Shock. The little angel child who goes shopping every Wednesday morning with me, and absolutely loves to sit in the trolley seat Grin.
Children understand social situations better than we give them credit for, and they understand that no one's love is as unconditional as Mummy's and Daddy's Grin

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AirandMungBeans · 24/01/2017 13:12

I'm an early years practitioner, in a class of two year olds. It is purely down to having very clear, consistent boundaries and expectations. They know what is expected of them and the younger children follow the lead of the older ones in the group. They all push the boundary to begin with, but very quickly cotton on to the fact that their behaviour will be consistently corrected with a "no thank you (name), now we are sitting for group time" etc. Also, children behave very differently at nursery than at home. We have one little girl who is apparently a nightmare at home, won't sleep, tantrums etc, but for us she's good as gold, naps perfectly etc. For what it's worth I can get a group of 12 to nap at the same time at work, no fuss, but can't get my own two year old to nap at home for love nor money!!

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morningtoncrescent62 · 24/01/2017 13:13

I live near a town beach, and during the daytime there are often nursery groups who've been taken out to play. I can never believe how beautifully the children behave - happily digging in the sand until the nursery nurses gather them together at which point they walk happily back holding hands. Not the slightest ghost of a tantrum in sight. How do they do that?

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Somerville · 24/01/2017 13:14

He eats finger food, sleeps in busy room, generally does what he's told! At home he appears to have food aversions, takes ages to get to sleep, behaves dreadfully in public.

That's well within what is standard for this age-group. But I would keep an eye on the possible sensory issues. (food, hates, etc...). Sometimes these show up at home but not in nursery/school, and getting support for them early can be helpful.

But as I say, all well within normal development - don't stress about it.

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Bubspub · 24/01/2017 13:14

Dog that is so interesting. Their behaviour can be so different depending on the social setting. As a parent it's so frustrating! Don't get me wrong, I'm relieved that his behaviour is good for nursery and that they've got no concerns. I just wish he behaved that way for me!

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Somerville · 24/01/2017 13:16

That should be (food, hats, etc...).

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Trollspoopglitter · 24/01/2017 13:16

I felt the same way the first time I attended a primary school function. 45 minutes of all children perfectly quiet and attentive. You could tell from the crowd which were the parents of the reception children - we were the ones with our jaws hanging open in awe Grin

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genehuntswife · 24/01/2017 13:17

I'm a childminder too dog and I find it exactly the same . I can have 3 two year olds good as gold all day , then parents turn up and it's like someone has turned a switch in them...exorcist comes to mind!!!

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Bubspub · 24/01/2017 13:17

Thanks Somerville, I have always felt like there's an element of 'sensory overload' with him, he gets very stimulated and can't switch off. Hence me checking with the nursery whether they had any concerns about his social interactions or attention. But I think as you say it's within normal limits rather than concerning. He's very sociable and curious, but very wilful and defiant (at home anyway!).

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LauraMipsum · 24/01/2017 13:25

It has to be drugs or sorcery. I went in a bit early to collect my "spirited" 2yo last week to find her sitting quietly in a neat row of other toddlers with her legs crossed on the mat in rapt attention to the story that was being read to them.

I can't get her to sit properly (i.e. without risk of imminent injury) for the five minutes it takes to eat a yoghurt at home.

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