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Should work offer to pay for sitter?

(86 Posts)
TheFear Tue 24-Jan-17 07:49:41

I work in a client facing role, clients visit our offices for meetings/ workshops perhaps once a quarter on average.
Generally I am expected to bring them out for a meal or a few drinks, mid week. Not every night, maybe once, next week there are 2 events, I am not expected to attend both but certainly should attend 1 of them.

DH feels that work should offer to pay for a sitter and should not assume that he will look after the kids while I am out "enjoying myself".

We both know what is expected of me in my role, part of it is looking after the client outside office hours to some extent.
I like my client and we usually have fun on our nights out so I'm wondering is this what is bugging DH, or does he genuinely have a point? So is he BU or am I, to assume that he will support my work commitments?

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 24-Jan-17 07:51:32

That's ridiculous. It's part of your work role, arranging childcare is your responsibility. That would be like me expecting work to pay my nursery fees.

Your DH is BU.

Bluntness100 Tue 24-Jan-17 07:51:57

No, I've never heard of such a thing. He is being unreasonable, why can't he look after the kids once or twice a week.

twilightcafe Tue 24-Jan-17 07:52:57

Eh? Why can't DH look after his children if he's at home and you're at work.

In any case, it's not your employer's responsibility to pay for childcare.

PovertyPain Tue 24-Jan-17 07:53:51

Your husband is being a dick. They're his kids too. Do you look after them when he's working/going out? If so, what's the difference?

CMOTDibbler Tue 24-Jan-17 07:54:16

Absolutely not. Sounds like you have DH issues there

faithinthesound Tue 24-Jan-17 07:54:53

Are they his kids or are they not his kids! Bloody hell. Tell him to stop being such a whiny twat, to suck it up, and be a DAD. It's not like it's every night.

Lunar1 Tue 24-Jan-17 07:54:57

No, it's part of your job.

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 24-Jan-17 07:55:16

Ridiculous! I think you might be right about him being jealous you are having fun without him on work time while he stsys home and babysits his own kids.

lalalalyra Tue 24-Jan-17 07:55:16

I've never heard of a workplace paying for childcare for an expected part of a role.

One night a quarter? So four nights out a year - it's hardly dumping the kids on him 5 nights a week to go out on the piss!

Plus your work probably don't assume he'll sit at home - they'll just be assuming that you will organise your childcare. So it could be him, one of your parents, an in-law or a teenager you know that you have do it - it's not their problem as presumably your salary reflects your role.

PollyCazaletWannabe Tue 24-Jan-17 07:55:27

Your husband is being ridiculous. Would he expect his work to pay for a sister if it were him having to entertain clients in the evenings? hmm

RhinestoneCowgirl Tue 24-Jan-17 07:55:38

If DH wants to go out when you are out for work then he will need to arrange a babysitter. As couples do all the time.

DH is away at moment with work. I have an evening out on Weds so I've arranged a babysitter. No way should his work get involved!

PollyCazaletWannabe Tue 24-Jan-17 07:55:42

Sitter, not sister

SheldonsSpot Tue 24-Jan-17 07:56:30

Assuming it was made clear when you accepted the role, and if for some reason you occasionally genuinely couldn't entertain clients your work would be fine with it, then your DH is BU.

AyeAmarok Tue 24-Jan-17 07:56:58

Eh, so your DH is at home, but thinks that your work should pay for childcare issues that you don't actually have, because he's there?

He's being an arse. A big one.

Trills Tue 24-Jan-17 07:57:23

Of course they won't pay for a babysitter. Imagine the admin.

My dad is like this - he has a job where he clocks in and clocks out and can't understand why anyone would do more than a minute's worth of "their time".

maddiemookins16mum Tue 24-Jan-17 07:57:24

Blimey, I've heard it all now. My biggest concern is you don't seem to think your DH ibu!!

RestlessTraveller Tue 24-Jan-17 07:57:32

Your husband is an arsehole. He's not "looking after" the kids, he's parenting.

If he's like this when you have to go out with work what's he like when you go out with friends?

TheFear Tue 24-Jan-17 07:57:40

Glad to hear I'm not missing something!
He is going to do it, absolutely but I think he is feeling hard done by.
Yes, of course I look after the kids when he has something to do, work, social or whatever, I never ask him for babysitting money!!

OnionKnight Tue 24-Jan-17 07:57:48

Absolutely no way.

SheldonsSpot Tue 24-Jan-17 07:59:42

Just seen its once a quarter - 4 times a year. Tell him to stop being a whining gobshite.

His comment about you being out "enjoying yourself" says it all.

What's he like when you're out with friends and it's not work?

AyeAmarok Tue 24-Jan-17 08:00:53

This reeks of your DH thinking that childcare is your responsibility, because you have a vagina.

To the extent that he thinks your employer is taking the piss by the very notion that they might think that he should look after his own children once a quarter.

Have a word, OP!

TheFear Tue 24-Jan-17 08:01:00

And I do think he is BU Maddie.
No, Restless, he has no problem with my social life outside work.
We do the usual stuff of juggling work, childcare, social life and I always notify him well in advance of anything coming up, where possible.
He had said it was common practice for companies to cover the cost of a night out, even if that was to cover babysitting, I was hmm. Seems I was right.

AuntiePenguin Tue 24-Jan-17 08:01:01

It's really bizarre that he would even suggest it tbh.

user1483945709 Tue 24-Jan-17 08:01:30

He is being unreasonable. What was he planning on doing if you did get a babysitter?

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