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AIBU to feel sad that I've never done it vertical?

(120 Posts)
littleoysterslittleoysters Mon 23-Jan-17 21:16:08

The sink bonking thread got me thinking... I've never done it standing up and as a good size 18 with a chunky dh I probably never will....

Its always looked so hot and sexy to be lifted entirely by a fit bloke with your legs wrapped round 'em or possibly supported against a wall... *starts to dream

Am I missing out? Come on fit MNers tell me? Maybe I should have done this in my youth? Surely you have to be fairly fit and it requires a good core?

Is this worth getting down the gym for or not all it cracked up to be? I feel my time is running out...

Discopanda Mon 23-Jan-17 21:17:42

I did it vertically for about two minutes last week, it was good but couldn't really move much myself and started feeling self-conscious about my weight. Seems over-rated to me.

littleoysterslittleoysters Mon 23-Jan-17 21:30:24

I suspected it might be, but it looks amazing....

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom Mon 23-Jan-17 21:33:01

I think if your weight is holding you back from things you'd like to try (sex and the rest!) then you owe it to yourself to shift it! I don't mean that flippantly. I know how hard it actually is, but maybe this is a goal that will work for you? Good luck! If you lose the weight and don't enjoy the position, you wont regret the weight loss.

littleoysterslittleoysters Mon 23-Jan-17 21:38:13

My husband is 20 years older than me I think i'd need a defibrillator on standby even if I lost half my body weight...

GooodMythicalMorning Mon 23-Jan-17 21:40:26

Done it. It was uncomfortable and difficult in rl but maybe dh and I are the wrong height to make it work.

mum2Bomg Mon 23-Jan-17 21:40:51

It's crap don't bother!

littleoysterslittleoysters Mon 23-Jan-17 21:44:34

So no one appears to like it... Okay then.... *reaches for malteasers....

elQuintoConyo Mon 23-Jan-17 21:44:35

A knee-trembler?

I have done it facing the wall (piv, not up the Oxo Tower) and it was racey it was at work

Also done it in the woods up against a tree blushgrin

MsMarvel Mon 23-Jan-17 21:48:32

I've never been picked up but I've had sex standing up, me facing the wall. It was rather good.

GambaJoe Mon 23-Jan-17 21:50:09

Overrated, spend the whole time wondering if DPs back or knees were going to give out

MyWineTime Mon 23-Jan-17 21:52:17

I really like it but I need something to rest one foot on. We're a similar height.
For any sex to be good you have to feel comfortable - if you feel uncomfortable you're never going to be relaxed enough to enjoy it.

SnipSnipMrBurgess Mon 23-Jan-17 21:52:23

Me facing the wall yes, me being picked up , yes. But it was like 20 odd years ago, there wouldn't be a hope I could do it now!

littleoysterslittleoysters Mon 23-Jan-17 21:52:28

Facing a wall... OOOooo that seems doable... *puts down malteasers and stares at a sleeping dh....

Notanotherpawpatrol Mon 23-Jan-17 21:53:58

Hmm, can't say it was any good. Awkward, stiff and well not very fun. Not my favourite position!

clumsyduck Mon 23-Jan-17 21:55:06

Tried this once the whole picked up thing . Not quite like I'm the films . Basically fell over . I'm to tall blush

Manumission Mon 23-Jan-17 21:55:11

It's okay in your twenties.When you come in to an empty flat from a night out and can't wait to make it out of the hall.

I'm not sure I have the balance or stamina anymore. It's just a faff even if such a miracle as a tidy empty house ever happened <clutches wincyette nighty>

clumsyduck Mon 23-Jan-17 21:55:21

In the films *

Manumission Mon 23-Jan-17 21:58:27

In the films, he carries her to a handy countertop and continues there, knocking food erotically out of the way.

Imagine the food stains, the germs.... sad You'd be Cillit Banging for hours.

littleoysterslittleoysters Mon 23-Jan-17 21:58:37

dh has politely declined tonight but "Maybe at the weekend" - Lucky me!

clumsyduck Mon 23-Jan-17 22:00:31

God yes the whole knocking everything over . I'd have to check nothing was broken and start cleaning up blush

BrowsOnFleek Mon 23-Jan-17 22:02:24

Another vote for overrated, and I'm in my 20s 🙄 There's a foot height difference between me & dp so maybe that's why..

lingle Mon 23-Jan-17 22:02:46

Thanks for distracting me from news at 10!

(The answer is yes btw)

BiBi8 Mon 23-Jan-17 22:04:22

It's shit. DP did it on our first sex date (2 months in) to try and impress. It did not. It's never the right angle/comfortable.

DustyMaiden Mon 23-Jan-17 22:05:09

Manumission, surely one would use Zoflora.

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