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To ask how much time you spend sitting on floor and playing with your toddler?

(27 Posts)
domesticgoddesshaha Mon 23-Jan-17 09:28:20

Curious really...

How much time do you spend actually playing with your toddler, vs them playing independently?
My 12 mo plays independently very well, in fact she seems to prefer it and makes angry noises if you touch her toys.
However, my just 3yo wants me to play all the time and if I try to do something else eg laundry, make lunch, load dishwasher, sneaky mumsnetting then he just repeats "mummy plaaaaaay" in a whiny voice like a broken record. Weirdly if I play with him, what he actually wants is to instruct me what to do (e.g Mummy build a duplo garage/ mummy play with dolls) while he sits on his backside and watches!
Do you spend a lot of time playing duplo/doctors /shops/dolls/other toddler games or do they mostly get on with it on their own?

ScruffyTheJanitor Mon 23-Jan-17 09:29:21

Not as much as she would like, far more than I can stand.


cherrycrumblecustard Mon 23-Jan-17 09:29:56

This is something I struggle with a lot. I don't do it. I'll colour with her and I'll play in the park with her but I don't do imaginary play, that's why she goes to nursery.

isupposeitsverynice Mon 23-Jan-17 09:31:13

Very little, tbh. I love my children dearly but playing bores the tits off me. Its one of the reasons I had a second, so I can make them play with each other instead grin

cherrycrumblecustard Mon 23-Jan-17 09:31:58

I don't remember my mum ever playing with me, anyway!

domesticgoddesshaha Mon 23-Jan-17 09:33:16

3yo sadly won't play with the 12mo at the moment. 12mo adores big brother but he just torments her and will hit etc if I don't watch like a hawk. I'm hoping when they are older that they will play together.

MuseumOfCurry Mon 23-Jan-17 09:33:56

Mine are older but I just narrated whatever they were doing while I got on with whatever I was doing, which I found perfectly acceptable. So - very little if any at all.

RedStripeIassie Mon 23-Jan-17 09:34:03

Too much. She'd be surgically attached to me if she could. Any tea parties, train tracks etc have to evolve me. I wish she'd play a bit more independently. It drives me mad!!

sillygoof Mon 23-Jan-17 09:35:30

I'm so relieved to hear I'm not the only one! It's the bossing me around so she can watch me play that's the worst, they're YOUR toys not mine! I'm no sitting there playing with her dolls while she watches!

Loraline Mon 23-Jan-17 09:37:51

That's just what 3 year olds do. Mine would do that all day if let. I do it when ds2 is napping so he feels like he gets quality ine to one time with me but he will play independently (under protest) a lot.

MollyHuaCha Mon 23-Jan-17 09:44:48

I played with mine constantly. I considered it my job.

dontbesillyhenry Mon 23-Jan-17 09:44:52

Quite a bit or he would spend his time climbing on (and falling off) the sofa, side tables, window ledge). He is 13 months

MTB1003 Mon 23-Jan-17 09:45:50

Sorry to ask on this thread but how do you all get your little ones to play independently and at what age should they be playing for at least a little while on their own?

My DS is almost 5 months and can sit upright well on the floor, but can't bear to be one second away from me. Even if I'm standing right in front of him he needs me to be sitting next to him and playing with him with the toy. I'm not sure if this is normal.

With dh he can play fine on his own though confused

cherrycrumblecustard Mon 23-Jan-17 09:49:32

With babies, it's different, I think. They aren't playing so much as eating! smile

By 2/3 I think that's when you can leave them to it with some toys.

Rainatnight Mon 23-Jan-17 09:49:57

Well, he's five months...

MTB1003 Mon 23-Jan-17 09:55:02

Raina that's why I just wanted to know from other mn if that's normal. It's just that I have friends with babies around similar ages and they are ok to play a few minutes on their own. DS screams the house down if I stand up, he thinks I'm going away.

LePetitPont Mon 23-Jan-17 09:56:59

I have a 28 month old, he can do say 10/15 minutes independently then prefers you to join in. I quite like imaginary play, it's doing the same jigsaws over and over again i can't stand!

1DAD2KIDS Mon 23-Jan-17 09:58:52

Not as much as I would like. It's often a source of guilt. But once I fit in my job, house work, helping with dds homework and squeezed in some sleep I just don't get as much time as I would like with ds in the day. But I really do value the time we spent on the floor playing with toys or running around playing monsters.

1DAD2KIDS Mon 23-Jan-17 09:59:28

Ds is 22 months old.

MammyNeedsASpaDay Mon 23-Jan-17 10:04:01

Thank you for this post. I often feel incredibly guilty about this! I take an interest in what the kids are doing and occasionally build Lego, play with cars/sylvanians/shopkins/happyland.....but it's nice to hear everyone is much of the same opinion here! X

Note3 Mon 23-Jan-17 10:05:38

Mtb - your DS is perfectly normal so don't worry. I've had 3 children. Eldest was like your DS and would play fine providing I was next to her even in her early months. It was only when she got to about 6 years that I noticed she was better at playing totally independently for long periods. Don't let that alarm you...she wasn't joined at my hip for all those years haha...but she was quite demanding in needing to be told what to play with and was very 'watch me, look at me'. My middle child was my virtual siamese twin emotionally yet has played independently brilliantly from a young age. Third is a mix of both as luckily she gets lots of attention from her older sisters so forgets she's been moaning for mummy!

They also go through periods of separation anxiety. Firstly when they realise they are literally a different person to you as for the first few months they just think if then as an extension of their mum. Then they go through it again when they start to learn things disappear. Then they go through it again when they learn distance. This is all in the first yr. Then around 13 mths they go through an emotionally based separation anxiety. ..then again around 3/3.5 yrs.

Just keep persisting and being consistent. If you leave DC say the same phrase and they start to learn if you go you come back. And if you're moving about the house just plop him up and take him room to room with you...keeps you sane grin

QueenRefusenik Mon 23-Jan-17 10:10:04

MTB, mine was exactly the same at 5 months, don't worry! He's a bit better now at nearly 13 months and can sometimes manage a few minutes' play on his own. Sadly now he's walking I can't make the most of that or he'd be eating the TV or halfway up the stairs or something before I knew it!

Artandco Mon 23-Jan-17 10:14:04

At that age I would suggest setting child up with something and playing with them 10mins ie helps them set up wooden train set, get them started off playing, then say your just going to do laundry/ lunch/ whatever and you will be back when finished.
Only do chore for 15mins max, then come back and play with them so they know you will when finished. Gradually increase time so eventually you can play 10mins of every hour if needed.

MTB1003 Mon 23-Jan-17 10:56:25

Thanks all for the encouraging words! flowersAnd that this is to be expected.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 23-Jan-17 11:02:30

My ds is 16 months and he will play alone for about half hour then he starts looking for someone to play with and we sit and play for a while. Dd is 5 months and he tries to play with her but she's too small at the minute.

Ds also really likes being in the kitchen when I'm baking things so now I just take him in the kitchen with me put him in the high chair and if I'm making bread for example I give him some dough to mess around with and he will sit there for ages quite happy

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