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AIBU? I heard him the first 16 times!

(11 Posts)
Redesul Sun 22-Jan-17 18:14:54

Lately my DS, who is 3, almost 4, has a habit of saying things multiple times. For example, "mum look a light!"x20. I get this every day all day at the moment and it's driving me nutty. My DP seems to find it amusing, but he works 13 hour shifts so some days doesn't even see DS. He told me to "chill out" when I (unreasonably) snapped at DS that I heard him the first ten times. I just wish he'd get out of this phase already.

Today I've had a migraine that's not shifted, DS constantly repeating things at me, I've got a parrot who has decided she would like to screech a lot today. And the downstairs neighbours have been doing their weekly weekend DIY which they've been doing for at least 3 years now (since we moved here, so they may have been doing it longer??).

esiotrot2015 Sun 22-Jan-17 18:16:19

oh yes it's fine to just keep repeating 'I heard you the first time'

HecateAntaia Sun 22-Jan-17 18:22:40

What response do you think your son wants? If hes saying the same thing over and over then perhaps he is looking for a particular response? (And not the obvious ones. Kids are bloody weird 😁) Perhaps if you can figure out what he expects then you can give him that the first time and he won't say the same thing 20 times.

Redesul Sun 22-Jan-17 18:33:20

Hecate, he's doing it with anything and everything. He doesn't want anything in particular. I suspect it's to do with the fact he has slight dyspraxia. DP had that as a child so maybe that's why he's not so bothered by it.

LucklessMonster Sun 22-Jan-17 18:57:52

Ouch. YANBU to find it annoying and to occasionally snap - it sounds like you try to put up with it most of the time and don't blame your son.

If your partner also had dyspraxia, does he have any ideas for how to handle it? Is it just something your son needs to grow out of?

dollydaydream114 Sun 22-Jan-17 19:57:26

I suspect it's to do with the fact he has slight dyspraxia. DP had that as a child so maybe that's why he's not so bothered by it.

I have dyspraxia, and what you are describing would drive me up the bloody wall! Dyspraxic adults are actually often very sensitive to noise.

Some people do say that children with dyspraxia are more prone to repetition, but equally I know other kids who don't have dyspraxia or any other condition who also repeated phrases when they were toddlers.

My mum was a childminder and one of the kids she looked after, both around three or four years old, was an absolute bugger for repeating things over and over again, usually his favourite lines from Disney films. Small children like repetition and trying out particular phrases - I think it's a bit like when adults get an 'earworm' and can't get a song or phrase out of their head, except adults have sufficient social skills not to say them out loud whereas kids will cheerfully shout them over and over again. My friend's child went through a phase of making up nonsense words and repeating them or singing them to himself, which she found incredibly annoying, but he did grow out of it very quickly.

It is absolutely fine and not at all unreasonable to say 'You've said that enough times now, and I don't want to hear it again.' If your child repeatedly did something else you'd asked him not to do, you would be firm with him. This is no different.

However, if you've told him several times and he is clearly trying to stop himself from saying the words but physically can't prevent himself from saying them, that's a different matter - that's more like a verbal tic, which he might need help for. It doesn't sound like that from your post, though?

OopsDearyMe Sun 22-Jan-17 20:05:11

Sorry might not be a phase DS started at 3 and now at 6 still does it. I think it comes partly from the fact that sometimes I cannot answer straightway so he's just not expecting me to hear first time! I just repeat it back to him so for example!

Look a bee. Oh a bee?
Look a bee. Oh yes a bee
Look a bee what a lovely bee
Look a bee oh I see its a bee
Look a bee yes we have seen the bee
Look a dog... Oh where?

cardibach Sun 22-Jan-17 20:07:36

DP had that as a child
Dyspraxia is not something you grow out of. If he had it then, he still does. It does not cause repetition.

Lazyafternoon Sun 22-Jan-17 20:13:56

My DS does this!!! He's 3 too. Drives me bonkers.

Like *HecateAntaia" said I think he is waiting till I reply with what he wants to hear! "hmm" and "ok" and not appropriate answers. I have to try and guess. If I ignore the 10 times he's already said then I get "mummy, mummy, mummy" added in for good measure.

I'm just hoping he grows out of it!

AliceInUnderpants Sun 22-Jan-17 20:18:07

Dyspraxia is life-long. Your partner maybe has dyspraxia.
Has your DS been diagnosed as dyspraxic? Didn't the clinician explain this to you?

Redesul Sun 22-Jan-17 21:18:01

Dolly that all makes me feel a bit better! Thinking back, it is definitely something he can control. I think he just finds it funny

Alice and Cardi yes, sorry I am aware. I mean he had issues with it as a child, but has since mostly learned to cope with it better. In his case he was late speaking, much like my DS, and has issues with organisation . It's easy to forget that he has it.

Son has been to speech therapy and seen a paediatrician about it, not really much to say about it though.

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