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To ask complete strangers how I should sort my life out?

(8 Posts)
TheRippedOutPage Sun 22-Jan-17 15:04:42

I'm mid 30s. Two teens (youngest 16). Professional career.

For the past year or so I've felt like I'm missing something. I'm envious of these people who just leave everything and bugger off backpacking. I want to do something exciting, fun, I want to throw caution to the wind and just go off and explore.

I was told to picture the person I wAnt to be in order to become her. I've tried that but I don't have the energy to pull it off. I used to train in karate, alwYs wanted to get my black belt but just don't have the energy for it now. I want to learn to ride horses properly, but I can't be arsed to start it up. I find myself watching my life slip away because I don't have the energy to change it.

I've been married for under a year and even that is starting to turn sour. I've just given up my job because I'm exhausted. Luckily I'm in a profession where I can easily get another one if I choose to but I just can't be arsed.

Today is my last day at work. I feel nothing.

Anyone able to give me a kick up the arse? Has anyone ever made a brace decision to turn their life around and did it work?

Magzmarsh Sun 22-Jan-17 15:10:20

Check first if there's an underlying medical condition. It could be thyroid, depression, hormone imbalance, diabetes, blocked adrenal gland, go to your gp and ask for their advice before you make any decisions

TheRippedOutPage Sun 22-Jan-17 15:14:01

I have had blood tests etc, only thing wrong with me is anaemia but that has been the same all my life. Dr thinks it could be the onset of depression but anyone that was unhappy with their life would be depressed about it, surely?

tenterden Sun 22-Jan-17 15:14:54

It sounds like you were very young when you had your DC? Do you feel you missed out on having carefree twenties like some of your friends/peers?

Try to think about what it is that you think is missing. If it's travel, then now would be a great time to do that whilst you are between jobs wouldn't it?

What is "sour" about your marriage? Would you want to travel with your DH or does that sound crap? What about your teens or friends?

As youngest is 16, you will be footloose and free to do a lot more very soon I should think. I didn't see my DS for dust as soon as he got his first GF grin

If it's a deeper feeling maybe a chat with the GP?

Allthewaves Sun 22-Jan-17 15:21:51

Anemia is energy sapping. Iv ways had it but when my levels have gotten lower than the usual low, I feel like I'm wading through mud. If I let my diet slip, not exercise ect it's super easy for me to fall into depression.

I find making one change and sticking with it then when iv got that i make another until iv dug myself out

Firstly, deal with your anaemia, don't waste energy battling against it when it can be improved.
What is your sleep like?
What is your diet like?

You do sound like you are very flat which can be a sign of depression so don't dismiss it out of hand.

What makes you happy? Forget all the "should" stuff like I should training for a marathon or eating vegan on a Wednesday. What makes you smile?

corythatwas Sun 22-Jan-17 16:20:57

While it is not uncommon to go through a midlife crisis, your general weakness and inertia sounds suspicious- I would be looking deeper into that anaemia. Just because you've had it a long time doesn't mean it's good for you.

Astro55 Sun 22-Jan-17 16:23:57

I would say this - you had your dreams - your goals and you achieved those - but forgot to plan the next ones! This is what's missing

Take some time out get your head straight and start planning your next move

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