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DH and snoring

(47 Posts)
NavyandWhite Sun 22-Jan-17 12:31:41

DH and I have been together over 20 years. We have a great relationship in every way apart from the fact that he snores every single night and has done since we met.

I have a few health issues that mean I find it quite hard to stay asleep anyway and I'm often waking up from pain.

Last night I was awake for most of the night listening to him snore. It's SO loud, sometimes I give in and get up but I don't really like doing that.

Anyway this morning I said that I was going to sort out the spare room and sleep in there. He was very upset and said he really didn't think it was a good idea. Previously he has been to his GP about his snoring but nothing helped. I think he was given a different asthma spray to try.

I've bought him all the anti snoring stuff from the chemist and nothing works.

Any ideas from anyone in the same boat? Is there anything that works?

Is it a bit dramatic to sleep in separate rooms?

AbbeyRoadCrossing Sun 22-Jan-17 12:33:53

Following as in the same boat. I can actually hear him from the spare room so that doesn't work.

NavyandWhite Sun 22-Jan-17 12:34:40

I use the silicone ear plugs but even they don't block out the noise sad

esiotrot2015 Sun 22-Jan-17 12:36:49

Me and dh sleep in separate rooms
So do lots of people imo

thenightsky Sun 22-Jan-17 12:38:04

I have the same problem. DH is not as bad as every night though. Worse after drinking.

However, I do know a bloke who snores so hard I can hear him through two closed doors and when I was in a hotel room next door he actually woke me up. His DP has been for hypnotism, with some success she says... they hypnotised her to kind of 'zone out the noise'. (He has been to the dr who told him to lose 6 stone, but that's a whole other thread).

NavyandWhite Sun 22-Jan-17 12:39:11

That's the mad thing. DH doesn't drink and isn't overweight. That's me grin

happypoobum Sun 22-Jan-17 12:40:19

I actually had to split with an ex over this so I feel your pain. His snoring would follow me around the house there was no escaping it, not even with earplugs.

Is he over weight? Does he drink alcohol regularly? Both these factors would make the snoring worse/more likely.

I believe there is an operation he could have which would resolve it but that sounds extreme. Sorry I don't have any brilliant solutions but I do fully sympathise. In my case we weren't married and had no DC so it was a simple case of whether I loved him enough to give up the prospect of ever sleeping again!! Obviously things are much tougher for you. flowers

Babyroobs Sun 22-Jan-17 12:42:26

Me and dh sleep separately too. His snoring is beyond a joke sometimes and I do shift work and really need to sleep well to cope with work.
It may be worth your dh seeing his Gp if he will as there may be an underlying problem which can be sorted. My dh has bad asthma, but in the past has had operations to correct his nose/ wash out his sinuses etc. The hospital have said he needs his jaw re-aligning and that this is the only thing now that will help but they can't do the operation because of his asthma and long term steroids etc so we are stuck. the only thing that has really helped for my dh was a special mouth guard thing which he wore at night ( cost around £50). It was effective but DH found it too uncomfortable to sleep in so gave up after a couple of nights.

SaucyJack Sun 22-Jan-17 12:44:25

No, not drastic. Whatever gets you through the night without killing either or both of you is fine in my pained and bitter experience.

I often sleep on the sofa with the cat. It sounds like a fucking abattoir in our room when both "D"P and DD are at it. I fantasise about tearing his nose off and stuffing it up his arse sometimes.

Suppermummy02 Sun 22-Jan-17 12:45:34

Could be sleep aponea causing the snoring. If so a CPAP machine will fix it, has he been to the GP?

NavyandWhite Sun 22-Jan-17 12:46:57

grin last night I did think about pouring my glass of water over him.

I might get him to see the GP again then.

TheFairyCaravan Sun 22-Jan-17 12:48:50

DH often sleeps in the spare room because he keeps me awake with his snoring. I can then hear him through the wall! 🙈

He's not overweight and doesn't drink either. It makes me unbelievably stabby lying next to him, awake, listenting to the noise he's making. It's better for both of us if he moves.

S1lentAllTheseYears Sun 22-Jan-17 12:49:41

My DH only snores occasionally but, if either of us started doing it every night, it would be separate rooms even if it meant moving roms around so someone slept downstairs. No spare room atm as all full of teenagers but I am planning my own room in future anyway as I'm an owl, he's a lark and I want to be able to go to bed at midnight with a cup of tea and to read with the light on instead of sneaking in in the dark!

My parents have had separate rooms for years as Dad snores. Mum doesn't like people to know and moves back in with Dad if they have visitors. I suspect it's much more common than people let on, especially as people get older.

Pretty sure I have read articles where people have said that separate rooms actually made them feel closer as they no longer had the built up resentment that long term sleep deprivation can bring.

thenightsky Sun 22-Jan-17 12:49:55

zone it out

NavyandWhite Sun 22-Jan-17 13:02:18

I'll look at that link thanks.

thenightsky Sun 22-Jan-17 13:03:08

I think the link is a DIY solution. I'm sure my friend used a real live hypnotist.

Soubriquet Sun 22-Jan-17 13:09:09

I think your dh is being a bit unfair

If his snoring is affecting your sleep and you're happy to sleep in the spare room, then he needs to keep quiet.

Me and dh sleep apart. He fidgets too much and I don't sleep

He was worried at first thinking it was going to affect our sex life but it has had the opposite affect because I'm not as tired now

gamerchick Sun 22-Jan-17 13:13:39

He cant complain about you sorting the spare room out if he's unwilling to sort it out.

Mine was referred to a sleep clinic and now uses a CPAP machine. The noise has stopped. I may even join him in the big bed again at this rate.

pineapplecrush Sun 22-Jan-17 13:14:10

Watching with interest as I'm in the same position. His snoring has got worse over the last couple of months and he went to the GP and got some drops, sometimes they work slightly, sometimes not. I felt ill with lack of sleep since Christmas and DH slept on the sofa last 3 nights to give me a break. DD doesn't want him in the spare room as it's next to her and he keeps her awake. He has put weight on and drinking makes it a lot worse.
He said he can't keep sleeping on sofa but I can't suffer sleep deprivation either! Hoping losing weight will help.

Pollyanna9 Sun 22-Jan-17 13:23:35

Saucyjack that made me laugh out loud.

I absolutely cannot abide snoring. Going into another room with or without earplugs wouldn't help me - at night I have the hearing of the bat and coupled with being a light sleeper, I just cannot and would not be able to sleep. I actually struggle just with sleeping next to someone who isn't snoring due to the very light sleeping - they only have to turn over in bed and it wakes me up. And I can barely sleep through the night just on my own so I honestly think if I ever got a DP now who snored, he would never be able to stay over! I just can't tolerate it

What I find annoying in a couple of the posts (not from the poster but what they report about their snoring partner) is how either they've had a solution which helped but it wasn't quite comfortable enough so they stopped using it after 2 days, or 'well he is actually quite overweight and he does drink as well'. In both cases the bloke in question taking no account of the massive impact on the other person because they are blissfully asleep, snoring, like a baby whilst their poor partner tosses and turns all flippin' night. And yet these examples have put either zero or virtually zero effort into sorting out a problem that they've been fully informed is having a very detrimental effect on the person they purport to love and cherish!

jacks11 Sun 22-Jan-17 13:43:42

Snoring can be caused by a number of things- I'm guessing he tried a steroid nasal spray which can help if caused by nasal congestion/allergies/polyps and the like.

Go to your GP. If other conditions such as obstructive sleep apnoea, allergies etc then snoring can be due to anatomical features e.g. having narrow airways/large tonsils/large tongue/small lower jaw. In our area patients can be referred for a mandibular repositioning device (bit like a gum guard which goes in over night), which can help. Made a big difference to my father.

Allthebestnamesareused Sun 22-Jan-17 13:50:14

My dh sleeps in the other room when we are at home and I recently purchased these for when we are away and HAVE to sleep in the same room.
www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=travel+go+ear+plugs&tag=mumsnetforum-21

girlandboy Sun 22-Jan-17 13:58:30

My DH snores and I frequently have to resort to sleeping on the sofa downstairs. Even if we had a spare room it wouldn't be any use because I can still hear him through the wall. I've tried all types of earplugs including the special ones used for aircraft workers, but he appears to be louder than a jumbo jet! He went to the gp who told him he had very narrow nostrils and he could have an operation to basically have them reamed out a bit, but it might not work. So he won't have it done can't blame him really, it sounded gruesome I think separate houses should do it! wink

kiki22 Sun 22-Jan-17 14:09:28

We are having the same issue dp is waking me so I want to sleep in the kids room in the bottom bunk (I'm 5"2 I find a single bed fine) but he wants me to stay in our room with ds2 (5mo) but he wakes me and pretty sure he wakes ds2 as well. I think its unfair of the snorers

gamerchick Sun 22-Jan-17 14:34:36

Selfish more like. They're basically saying their needs trump yours.

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