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To think this was unnecessary sarcasm and nastiness from DH

(76 Posts)
SaliDali Sat 21-Jan-17 22:58:31

Been at work all day. DH been home all day. We have an 8 month old puppy.

When I got in I asked DH if he minded me going on computer for a bit to chill out after work (it's tucked away in dining room), he said that was fine and he'd look after dog. hf hour later I go to get myself a drink and go into living room to see if DH wants one. No sign of him. Instead, tv etc is off and dog is alone destroying Sky remote.

Not a big deal but curious as to where DH has gone (especially as TV etc has been turned off, which is unusual) so I go to bottom of stairs and shout up:


He replies "yeah?"

I say "what you doing sweets?"

He replies "sooorrrryyyy .... "

I say "eh? Just wondered what you're doing (as in are you coming back down at some point) as dog was chewing up sky remote ... "

He replies "oh no .... sorrreeeereyyy"


So sensing the sarcasm and will to start an argument I walk away and take dog with me into dining room.

AIBU here or was the sarcasm totally unnecessary?? He said he was looking after the dog yet he'd left him alone, turned off TV etc and buggered off ... I simply asked him what he was doing.

I'm sick to death of his attitude towards me. Snapping, sarcasm, shitty attitude.

Since I've felt like I can't be arsed with him now so I've come to bed. He knows he's fucked up as he's indirectly tried to creep by ordering my favourite takeaway but I'm sick to death of being spoken to like shit. I don't need this shit and I'm becoming less and less tolerant of it as time goes on.

TheNewSchmoo Sat 21-Jan-17 23:02:24

So him saying sorry for not doing what you asked equals him being sarcastic? I don't understand, have I misinterpreted your post?

empirerecordsrocked Sat 21-Jan-17 23:04:05

Is there a bigger issue here than just this?

CatchTheRainbow Sat 21-Jan-17 23:04:38

I'm not getting the sarcasm either.

Why would he say sorry to you asking him what he's doing?

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Sat 21-Jan-17 23:05:38

What's the back story?

This sounds like something trivial to me, but it's obviously part of a bigger picture.

MadHattersWineParty Sat 21-Jan-17 23:05:50

Um, is there a backstory OP?

EastMidsMummy Sat 21-Jan-17 23:05:51

It doesn't sound very nasty.

SaliDali Sat 21-Jan-17 23:07:03

No i just wondered if he was coming back down as I needed to know what to do with the dog. Buy me asking that (quite innocently) resulted in a childish purposely winey toned "soorrrreeeeyyy".

It's hard to explain I guess. He pulls this passive aggressive shit with me all the time.

When he came back down he said "poor me, can't even go for a shower".

I replied "to be fair, all you needed to do was say you was in the shower, the theatricals wasn't really necessary" and that's when he started creeping. But I am well and truly sick of it.

scottishdiem Sat 21-Jan-17 23:07:31

There is probably an awful lot in the tone of his voice that is never going to translate here so I dont think we can tell if he was sarcastic.

AnyFucker Sat 21-Jan-17 23:07:46

Why does your dog need constant one to one eyeballing supervision ? confused

AuroraBora Sat 21-Jan-17 23:09:27

Is it just you and him, no kids?

If so, then end it. Why hang around? You aren't happy, life is short.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 21-Jan-17 23:10:31

This seems to be one of these "you had to be there" scenarios.

Even his ordering your favourite takeaway (yum!) for you has been given a negative slant. 😒

You don't seem to like him much.

SaliDali Sat 21-Jan-17 23:10:42

It wasn't a "sorry" as in "shit, sorry I forgot about the dog" but a sorry as in a child winding up another child and giving an ungenuine "sorrrrryyyy" (with a grin).

I asked a simply question,why couldn't he just say he was getting a shower? Like I would have? Why the sarcasm?

dollydaydream114 Sat 21-Jan-17 23:11:07

Sounds like a case of six of one and a half a dozen of the other to me.

Unless there is a massive backstory to this, this is an incredibly trivial thing to get worked up about.

SaucyJack Sat 21-Jan-17 23:11:55

It's fine to break up with someone because you don't particularly like them any more. You don't need a "good" reason or justification.

Mumsnet hereby gives you permission to do so smile

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 21-Jan-17 23:12:07

Buy me asking that (quite innocently) resulted in a childish purposely winey toned "soorrrreeeeyyy

Is he scared of you?

SaliDali Sat 21-Jan-17 23:12:27

No I can't put it across here. It was deliberately intended to start an argument. He knew as soon as he came down that I was upset so started the creeping but I'm sick of it. It's all the time.

Cherrysoup Sat 21-Jan-17 23:13:29

Why does your dog need constant one to one eyeballing supervision ?

Because it's a puppy and was chewing up the remote. I could list what mine chewed up as a pup because we didn't supervise properly.

OP, I sense that you dislike your DP and would like shot of him. (Call me Gypsy Rose Lee). It's a bit OTT, your reaction. Is the relationship not keeping you happy?

Sweets101 Sat 21-Jan-17 23:15:15

Do puppies need watching at all times? It's not a baby? Well it is but you know.
Maybe he was having a wank?

SaliDali Sat 21-Jan-17 23:15:23

It was said in a way that implied I was always ordering him around. I never do. I just wondered what to do with the dog as he can't be left alone. We both know this. He's incredibly distructive so I was simply surprised that he'd left him alone and was asking if he was coming back down (or did I need to take the dog in the dining room with me).

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Sat 21-Jan-17 23:15:24

He sounds like a bit of a child to be honest. I wouldn't say it's nasty from the example you've given but definitely very juvenile which would be a complete turn off for me and I wouldn't tolerate it if it was a regular feature in the relationship.

Sweets101 Sat 21-Jan-17 23:16:23

(Not being sarky)

Crunchymum Sat 21-Jan-17 23:16:46

What does "creeping" mean?

DJBaggySmalls Sat 21-Jan-17 23:17:37

It sounds like he is treating you like you are his mum. I dont think sarcasm is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Your post was perfectly intelligible confused

SaliDali Sat 21-Jan-17 23:18:02

Maybe an over reaction as I'm sick of being spoken to like shit, laughed at, ignored and basically treated like he can't stand me.

I've put up with it for a long time but I'm becoming very intollerant of it lately. The passive aggressiveness, the controlling, the overall nastiness because he can't answer a simple question with sarcasm.

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