About my colleague?

[Tommy]

Need some perspective on this. I have a colleague (my immediate boss) who, although is a nice bloke, is really a very poor manager. He is very disorganised and tends to do things on the hoof without planning. I can usually get on with my own work without reference to him to be honest but I also feel that he doesn't value my work. I have heard him make misogynistic comments which he laughs off. Just as an example, I have to organise a big event every year and when we discussing it is time, he said "Well, that just runs itself doesn't it really?" Well, actually, no it doesn't. I have to plan it, liaise with about 3 other departments and the venue and all the H&S stuff etc etc etc so to suggest that it "runs itself" is a bit off IMO.
Anyway, I bumble along with him, mostly just try to get on with my own work, moan about him to his boss (who agrees about the lack of organisation etc) and I am trying to not let him get to me as we have to work together and it's easier if I try not to rely on him as a line manager.
Anyway, last night I was out with some other colleagues (he wasn't there) and a couple of people were going on about what a great bloke he was - a bit scatty but you have to laugh about it don't you cos he's such a lovely nice guy.....
So, I BU or should I just suck it up and agree that he's lovely too and ignore all the other stuff? I can't get my head around that what drives me crazy about him is what endears him to everyone else!

[Lilaclily]

Tbh I would 0kd have said what you typed here when he said that just runs itself

I'd be careful about moaning about him to his boss , it doesn't look good on you to do that
I write a list of concerns and make a formal complaint if it gets worse

[Tommy]

Don't really "moan" to boss - it's more when I ask if I can change my line manager - I do it formally in the regular meeting I have with the boss. I did try to reply what I said when he said about the big event, but he laughed it off. As he tends to do - which is not endearing to me at all

[redexpat]

That would drive me nuts. But at least he is a nice guy. I think actually the next time he says it just runs itself I would reply actually no it takes xyz from me to run it.

[redexpat]

X post

[Tommy]

I have tried but when he responds thinking it's a bit of a joke I am usually so that I just don't know how to follow it through. I really need to be more assertive with him I guess......

[dollyollymolly]

What job do you do? Is it an Admin/PA job? Because if it is there is a very real misconception that everything you do is a 'doddle' and it all 'just happens'.

Best response you can make when you get this again is, "How do you know?". I said this to a boss once and it completely shut him up because he suddenly realised that he didn't know how long it took or how difficult it was because I made it look so easy.

I wouldn't tell people how useless he is. Hopefully he will trip himself up at some point. Unfortunately, it seems that personality trumps effectiveness/actually being good at your job. As you go up the ladder, you will realise that there are many useless idiots who have risen to the top. It's a bit soul destroying really.

[Tommy]

Good advice there dolly. Someone else told me that I must be making it look too easy which is why he thinks it is. I think the worst thing is that I take everything personally and let it wind me up. I need to learn how to stop that

[dollyollymolly]

You probably get it all done without flapping too which adds to his misconceptions about it all.

I would rise above it all. Keep him at arm's length and only get involved with him if you really need to. I would certainly not be helping him and making him look good unless I absolutely had to. Be very careful about how you do it though. Never ever reveal your hand to anyone...

[Tommy]

Thanks

[Crumbs1]

Sorry but you sound a bit petulant and moaning Minnie.

[Tommy]

I thought that I might...

[DJBaggySmalls]

He is a nice bloke.
He is a poor manager.
He makes misogynist comments.
He undervalues your work.
He is not a nice bloke, thats just camouflage.

[youarenotkiddingme]

Neat time he says it runs himself tell him good because you can't fit it in this year due to heavy work load so are requesting as your boss he takes it on!

[dollydaydream114]

You don't have to 'agree that he's lovely and ignore all the other stuff'. When others are talking about how great he is, you can either keep quiet and not join in the conversation or, if the context is appropriate, you can politely say "Well, that scattiness makes my job really hard, and he's not always as nice as he might seems." It's up to you.

However, you do need to understand that while it's not unreasonable of you to think your boss is a twat, it would be unreasonable to expect everyone else to share your opinion of him.

I found my previous boss incredibly annoying (like yours, he was also scatty and dismissive of the amount of work that went into projects) but lots of people liked him and I had to accept that.

[dollyollymolly]

I don't think you sound petulant and a moaning minnie at all.

He might be quite a nice bloke in the general sense but he's not being a nice bloke to you if he is undermining what you do and is generally a bit of a twat towards you. Only you know how you feel in this situation.

I like youarenotkiddingme's suggestion.

[fuzzywuzzy]

I have a line manager who was unappreciative of my contribution.

Like you I get my work done and do it well, so things always run smoothly and nothing ever goes wrong so it goes unnoticed.

I'm about to go on maternity leave & he is bricking it. My work is being covered by three people plus a full time maternity cover person. Which I find amusing, apparently it will take four people to cover my one job.

I reckon by next year he'll be thoroughly appreciative of my work. He has this year given me a glowing appraisal which he didn't last year causing the director to step in and disagree. Was very surprised about that.

Manager keeps asking if I'm happy and if I'll return after Mat leave. A little part of me feels completely vindicated.
On the other hand I do like him & he's not rude or misogynistic.